So how often you pay?

[BigBoss]

Here is the story, I am 24 right now, and it seems I have always rejected the idea of older guys paying for the coffee or dinner. Whenever I date, I usually like to pay for the coffee, and only with special ones I feel comfortable to dine outside, and even then I would prefer to pay for the food, I am not rich nor earning that much, my income is enough to feed four cats.

Last night I had a dinner with someone special I am seeing these days, he is 42 and when the waiter brought the bill, there was a silence of 5 seconds, though as per my attitude i was going to pay, however manners are something that these oldies do not have, he could have atleast offer. Anyways I paid the bill immediately.

Now the questions that rise are

1. How often do you pay, when you are the young one among two.
2. Is it always necessary for the daddies to pay for the bill.
3. Isn't it like being whore asking the daddies to pay?

 

[BigBoss]

1.I usually don't pay, even though I offer to pay. I find it kind of nice that someone is willing to pay for me.
2. It is in no way necessary for the "daddies" to pay for the bill. I always ask to meet at cheap/cheap enough places so that I can pay.
3. Not really. If they want to pay for my food they can pay for my food. Paying for stuff never comes to me as equaling getting me in bed. I have feelings, they have feelings. If they feel obligated to pay for me, then pay. I'm on a limited budget and it does help, but I've never asked someone specifically to pay for me.

Hey Seems we both are sailing in the same boat. BTW i thought you have a bf.

 

[racer2438]

you said that you always pay the bill immediately, so whats the big deal. Did you give the guy a chance to say "I'll take that"

You have gone "dutch". But it seems that you always want to pay.

Thats what I get out of it.


They way I clarify is at the beginning as I say, "hey let's go for a bite our something, my treat"

that way it is clear who is treating who. Not after the fact.

I was brought up that if you envite you pay...

 

[Storybook_Man]

1. How often do you pay, when you are the young one among two. - I pay basically everytime, the only time I don't pay is when its a dinner for my birthday or a thank you for helping the person out. Sometimes I pay for the other person, granted again if its for their birthday or just to cover for them. This is for my gay/bi friends.

2. Is it always necessary for the daddies to pay for the bill. - No, however I think its necessary for a man to pay for a woman.

3. Isn't it like being whore asking the daddies to pay? - I don't think of it as whore like. Whore like is only being with the guy for money.

I had went to AC and met up with someone that I met off of craigslist. This guy was a tab bit drunk. But we hit the tables and he wanted to pay for me to gamble, I felt bad about him paying for it. But he insisted. A couple hours later he had gone through 500 dollars, 200 on myself. So I told him I will pay for myself. Luckily he ended up winning most of it back and lost only 100.

On my birthday the same guy rented a room at the Borgata in AC for the day, he was going to take me out to dinner, to the spa, and gamble. This time the only thing he paid for was the room since we didn't go out to dinner or the spa. But we did gamble, but I paid for that myself. He was more interested in gambling then me, so I left and thats why we didn't do anything but gamble and fooled around for like an hour in the room. I don't talk to him anymore because he has some gambling problems and issues.

 

[JetSetJake]

With my last boyfriend, I paid for everything. Literally. The only thing he bought during our whole "relationship" was a meal at McDonald's!

It started as me wanting to treat him, but then he just took advantage and it got out of hand.

I'm about 10 years older than him, but age wasn't the issue. It was just that he was out for all he could get.

It ended, of course, because he was contributing nothing to the relationship - and I don't just mean in a financial capacity.

I won't make the mistake of being such a gentleman again!

It's true: once bitten, twice shy. However, I still believe it wasn't an age issue. It was a character issue.

 

[spiderhead]

Usually the rule for me is whoever extends the invitation pays and whoever accepts the invitation does not pay. He probably didn't want to pay if you were the one that asked him if he wanted to go out because he probably expected that you were inviting him as your treat.

 

[Football4u]

For me i think it should be who ever is interested the most. if you dont really like him then wait a bit to see if he will pay. if you like him that means you want to take care of him too. if this works right you will argue over who is paying which is the best arguement ever because it shows you want to take care of eachother. if it is clear that you are well off in your wallet then you should pay and vice versa. I remember i knew i was making more than the average 40-60 year old was driving a nice car etc. so it was common for me to want to take the bill. just make reason of it throughout the night and u should have a problem putting the puzzle pieces together.