So I have an eating disorder.

[Entity]

I've been doing it for a few years now. Making myself throw up after majority of my meals.

Here's the thing though.
IT's not after every meal.
And it's not a means to lose weight, I've been working out more often.
But whenever I Eat and feel full, i feel sick, and i want it out of me.
I know bulemia doesn't make you lose weight, but i think it's just something weird, where i hate to be full, i try to eat less to avoid being full but sometimes i can't help it, and today i realized i was throwing up a lot of blood, and now i'm kinda getting worried.

And I just kinda wanna know if there's a way around it. :/ I dunno what to do and the advice "Go to a doctor" is pointless. I realize it's not so much of an "Oh i ate too much, throw up." but an "Oh man, i ate a full portion, throw up." Becoming more and more recent, and before it becomes a problem, i don't even know what i'm asking, i just know i don't wanna seem like that fucking loser who make himself throw up in my life, so i'll post it on JUB.

Help.

But if I realize it's a problem, it's not so bad of a problem, yeah? :/

 

[Seasoned]

The complications of bulimia are quite serious and you are minimizing your purging behaviors. There is no need to force vomiting after eating. You are losing potassium and damaging your esophagus and stomach. Please see a mental health professional as soon as possible.

 

[bankside]

I've been doing it for a few years now. Making myself throw up after majority of my meals.

Here's the thing though.
IT's not after every meal.
And it's not a means to lose weight, I've been working out more often.
But whenever I Eat and feel full, i feel sick, and i want it out of me.
I know bulemia doesn't make you lose weight, but i think it's just something weird, where i hate to be full, i try to eat less to avoid being full but sometimes i can't help it, and today i realized i was throwing up a lot of blood, and now i'm kinda getting worried.

And I just kinda wanna know if there's a way around it. :/ I dunno what to do and the advice "Go to a doctor" is pointless. I realize it's not so much of an "Oh i ate too much, throw up." but an "Oh man, i ate a full portion, throw up." Becoming more and more recent, and before it becomes a problem, i don't even know what i'm asking, i just know i don't wanna seem like that fucking loser who make himself throw up in my life, so i'll post it on JUB.

Help.

But if I realize it's a problem, it's not so bad of a problem, yeah? :/

I've had stomach flu before, and the feeling of discomfort as my stomach lies twisted tighter than any noose, is almost paralyzing. When I've gotten sick like that, finally throwing up is an incredible relief and it feels almost like perfect bliss by comparison, even better than "normal," even if only for a few minutes of adrenaline rush.

But I don't chase that feeling. I've never even wanted to, to be honest. I don't like to barf.

Whatever you are getting out of this is costing you everything. What are you getting out of it, anyway? Whatever feeling you gain from throwing up, you need to let it go and find some other way to chase that feeling that won't possibly kill you.

If you got yourself into this you might be able to get yourself out of this. Will you? You need to do this with deadlines. The deadline for starting is now. That means the next meal has to stay down. If you can't prove to yourself that you will commit to keeping just that one meal down, then you need to ask for treatment from your doctor. The deadline for finishing (eating average healthy meals normally and keeping them down all the time) should be probably no more than 2 or 3 weeks from now. What happens in between those two deadlines is possibly a bit of an experiment as you figure out what works for you. But, that's your time limit, and you need to set it now. If you can't keep to that deadline, then you will need professional support for this eating disorder.

It is worth trying on your own. But it is also critical to remember that you can't left yourself give up if you find it too difficult to deal with on your own. You need a back-up plan, and that is the doc. There are many health-based factors that affect a person's self-control. How difficult or easy it is for anyone to control these kinds of habits is often related to health issues that a doctor can treat. You may need a doctor's support, or you may not. YOU need to ask the two questions: Did I keep my next meal down? and Did I keep them all down after 2 or 3 weeks?

So that would have been my advice for stopping on your own.

But there's now a bigger issue. Barfing up blood is a must-see-the-doctor situation. If you have other issues like dizziness at the same time, it is a 911 or emergency room situation. So at the very minimum, you need the first doctor's appointment you can get. And since you're there anyway, no point in lying about the eating disorder. Life is too short to bullshit your doctor, or impress your doctor, or try to fit in for your doctor. Once it's on the table, you can even tell your doctor you have a plan to stop it on your own...but you'll probably both feel better if you make that follow-up appointment for 3 weeks to either laugh about how well things are going, or plan further treatment.

 

[guyfromNY]

I would strongly suggest you seek immediate help for this. The longer you go on like this, the more difficult it will be for you to stop. The damage that you are doing to your body is probably not permanent at this point, but things can go down hill very fast. One thing I didn't see mentioned is the fact that this will also destroy all of your teeth. People who suffer from bulimia have teeth that are horribly decayed and often times falling out because the contents of the stomach are simply not meant to be in the mouth. Often times, a bulimic person may feel fine and not realize that their electrolytes are dangerously unbalanced. Then you have a stroke.

It's interesting how people can be so different from one another. For me, throwing up is the most terrifying thing in life. If I had to choose, I would rather have my legs broken than throw up. I know, I'm a big time emetophobe

Get yourself to a therapist and be honest about the situation!!!!!

 

[scream4ever]

I did actually lose weight when I was bulemic. About 15-20 pounds over the course of a couple months.

 

[Benvolio]

I think you should see an MD. Your discomfort and the blood suggest that something more serious may be present. Vomiting does not make you bleed. I don't think you need to emphasize the intentional vomiting. Tell him you feel full and sometimes feel like vomiting. Doctors take bleeding from the stomach seriously.

 

[Benvolio]

You are describing a Physical condition, not a mental or psychological one. It does not sound like bulimia to me. I hope you will see a doctor.

 

[cocksucker4use]

It is interesting that you have been self-inducing vomiting for some time and apparently no one...family, friends, boyfriends, whomever...are aware? If this is correct and you keep this behavior/condition a secret, that suggests bulimia. You feel your weight is OK, but what do others tell you? Regardless, if you are bleeding from anywhere, you need to see a doctor. If you are barfing up blood, you need to go to an emergency room. This is extremely dangerous and should have immediate attention from a physician. You may also have a physical condition that causes you this discomfort. Chances are good that if you have it, so do others, and a gastroenterologist could discuss treatment options with you. SO: First, get checked out by a doc as soon as possible, because gastrointestinal bleeding can be very serious. Second, see a gastroenterologist to be assessed for a phusical condition. If the GI doc says you have no physical illness or physical abnormality, then you really should see a psychotherapist. You are right to be concerned and you need to seek medical help as soon as possible. Whether the root cause is physical or emotional, frequent vomiting