Please someone help!!
I have always been attracted and turned on to both m and f all my life.
From the early age of 11 or 12.
Boys mainly tho.
I have a boyish appearance even now tho I am 26 .
Over the years I have dated alot of guys all of whom are or turned out to be bi or gay in the end. Its the type I am attracted to and im not sure why. Im never attracted to guys or men who are straight laced kind of guys. I can't climax without anal sex im not particularly fond of vaginal and hate the word even. Iv been told all my life I have alot of male tendencies and have even been mistaken for a boy a few times. It made me really happy and ashamed at the same time.
I was raised in a Christian family and so feeling the way I do inside and by association having matching mannerisimes was always looked at as bad and wrong. But I never felt comfortable or very happy pretending otherwise obviously. I remember hating being referenced as a girl in ways like "that's not what girls do" or "you are so pretty" that one makes me cringe at times. My mom tried her best to make me into a proper lady and I can fool people pretty well now if I want to. But I don't. Im seeking help here cause I don't know where else to go. I feel depressed alot now that I've moved away from home (from Illinois to indianapolis ) and don't have to pretend so much like I don't feel the way I do because its worse than illinois for conservative ness and so the atmosphere is stifling even more so here. Im in Carmel so maybe its better elsewhere but its hours away.
I practically live for chicagos pride parade and festival I've only been once but now im hooked
Anyhow any help is greatly appreciated as are questions for any reason.
it helped just writing this all out so even if no help comes thanks just for listening.
I have always been attracted and turned on to both m and f all my life.
From the early age of 11 or 12.
Boys mainly tho.
I have a boyish appearance even now tho I am 26 .
Over the years I have dated alot of guys all of whom are or turned out to be bi or gay in the end. Its the type I am attracted to and im not sure why. Im never attracted to guys or men who are straight laced kind of guys. I can't climax without anal sex im not particularly fond of vaginal and hate the word even. Iv been told all my life I have alot of male tendencies and have even been mistaken for a boy a few times. It made me really happy and ashamed at the same time.
I was raised in a Christian family and so feeling the way I do inside and by association having matching mannerisimes was always looked at as bad and wrong. But I never felt comfortable or very happy pretending otherwise obviously. I remember hating being referenced as a girl in ways like "that's not what girls do" or "you are so pretty" that one makes me cringe at times. My mom tried her best to make me into a proper lady and I can fool people pretty well now if I want to. But I don't. Im seeking help here cause I don't know where else to go. I feel depressed alot now that I've moved away from home (from Illinois to indianapolis ) and don't have to pretend so much like I don't feel the way I do because its worse than illinois for conservative ness and so the atmosphere is stifling even more so here. Im in Carmel so maybe its better elsewhere but its hours away.
I practically live for chicagos pride parade and festival I've only been once but now im hooked
Anyhow any help is greatly appreciated as are questions for any reason.
it helped just writing this all out so even if no help comes thanks just for listening.
