So, I'm not out, but I still obviously want to meet guys.

[hackingnomberr]

I'm back home for the Summer and I feel like I have the extra freedom to meet up with guys, low key. The only problem is that I'm not out so I don't really feel comfortable just going to a gay club or whatever, not to mention that I don't have a car anyway.~

Also, I don't really want to go on websites like CL or A4A, because I'm not looking to just have a connectionless hook up with someone, I can get that with myself and Sean Cody.com.

Anyway, I'm not really sure what I'm going for, suggestions I guess?
And don't say anything along the lines about just coming out, I'll do that when I'm good and ready.

 

[G-Lexington]

>>>And don't say anything along the lines about just coming out, I'll do that when I'm good and ready.

Well, as I said in another thread here yesterday...

If you're hungry, you can stand on the corner and wait for somebody to come by offering food. Or you can go into a restaurant and order something. Yes, the latter suggestion means people are going to know you're hungry. But it's also a lot likelier to get you something to eat.

I don't know of any way to meet gay guys while still maintaining the illusion that you're straight (to them). But if you want to just meet some gay guys, there's always this.

Lex

 

[exceeder]

I know you said NOT to suggest online websites, but you would be surprised of who you would meet in close proximity to you who is gay if you go on the chat portions of gay.com, plentyoffish.com, or if you have the option to use grindr (if you have an itouch or iphone.).

Much like you I'm not one to use online chat services to make friends or meet people (As most online are just there to hookup), but if you quite clearly present yourself as NOT looking for a hookup but just for friendship, there are bound to be some guys who are just looking for the same.

Naturally the fact that you aren't out does make it harder, but its still not impossible to meet lgbt people. I'm not out at my small town of 5,000 ppl and i've still managed (by fate or by luck) met a few rare gays, haha.

Good luck.

 

[hackingnomberr]

Thanks for the sarcasm Lex.~

And yeah, I figure I have to stick to the stupid online thing for a while. u.u

 

[G-Lexington]

Well, I felt the sarcasm was well-earned, actually.

* You want to meet other gay guys.
* You don't want to come out.
* You don't want to go to some "gay place".
* You don't want to do it online.

What's left, really? I guess it'd be nice if a perfect-match boyfriend just knocked on your door, but surely you know that ain't gonna happen. In order to find a boyfriend, your would-be son-of-heaven is going to have to know that you're gay and interested. And he's only going to know that if you let it be known. You can do that from the closet - by either going online, or going to "gay places" - or you can do it out. But you can't NOT do it.

Lex

 

[slnattak]

Are you *really* bisexual or are you just saying that because it's more comfortable?

The issue here is you're not being honest. You can't get what you want if you're not honest. Listen to Lex. There's no way in hell your dream stud is just gonna knock on your door. You gotta meet people half-way. If you want to meet guys, yeah that requires you coming out and having other people perceive you as gay. It's about not caring so much what other people think and instead finding ways to make YOU happy.

Your first step would be I think to answer my first question: Do you honestly have erotic and romantic feelings for females?

 

[rareboy]

I think you're going to have a long dreary summer with your own hand as your date.

But here goes.

Hang out at bookstores and cafes and cultural events where the homos hang out but aren't gay.

Strike up conversations. Meet 1000 people by the end of summer. Get involved in stuff.