So little sex, it is driving me crazy...

[palemale]

Thanks guys. I guess I have some things to think about. Another turn of events has been added to the mix, so now I'm really torn about how to handle things. He quit his job (not the first time since we've been together), and now I only have enough money to get us through the next month. After that, we will have to leave our house, and he wants to move to another state with me. To do such, I have to put in letters of resignation, sell almost everything in the house, most likely find a home for my beloved cat, and move away from all of my new friends. I'm so torn. I don't want to leave him, but this is so much for me to handle at the moment. If you've read this and/or commented, thanks.

It was definitely selfish of him to quit his job knowing you would have to give up the house. When you are living with someone else, and have assumed rent based on two incomes, you don't quit your job until you have another one to go to, especially without talking to that person. You might want to consider finding a cheaper place to live with room enough for only one person (and a cat).

 

[journo25]

Agree with the comments that have been posted. I know guys with G.I. problems that make anal sex difficult but as you yourself said, there are other things you can do together sexually. He doesn't appear interested. I would consider his quitting the job and then putting the responsibility on your shoulders to support the two of you, relocate, etc., the last straw. His behavior is selfish and controlling. I think you need to consider parting ways.

 

[borg69unimatrix]

I agree with everyone else...

It sounds to me like he's living his life, as HE see's fit, and is just kind of expecting you to follow what HE wants, when he wants... be it sex, where you live, what you do, and when you do it.

Being this one sided, I certainly don't see it lasting very long. If you've been together for 3.5 years, congrats for hanging in there this long.

 

[palbert]

I agree with everyone else...

It sounds to me like he's living his life, as HE see's fit, and is just kind of expecting you to follow what HE wants, when he wants... be it sex, where you live, what you do, and when you do it.

Being this one sided, I certainly don't see it lasting very long. If you've been together for 3.5 years, congrats for hanging in there this long.

^^^^This.

 

[Georgiadude]

I can't believe how rude and controlling he is. You may not have seen it happening as some guys start slowly taking over. Little things at first they don't like Skippy peanut butter. They like Jiff type stuff then move on to bigger issues. After three and a half years He probably was pretty confident you weren't going to open the relationship. He has you wrapped around his little finger. Take a step back and look at this objectively. How many little things have you changed or given into for him because it wasn't any big deal. You love him so you let him have his way. Pretty soon He's making the decisions like where you live and how much sex you're going to have or not have. You're even covering for him here about the job issue. He just up and quit putting the financial burden on you. And you said it was a bad job etc stop making excuses for him dude. You are being taken advantage of. You want more out of this relationship and he's doing all the taking. He's not giving you anything other than what he wants. Relationships are give and take. He's totally out of line on many levels. You're right. You have A LOT to think about. Not just how frequently you have sex. I hope you're able to see what the rest of us are picking up on

Steven

 

[rareboy]

He sounds like a total loser douche. Bi-polar or not.

He's toxic and will ruin your life.

Cut him loose. Keep your cat.

Change your number so that he can't contact you.

 

[Rolyo85]

To get back to the original issue - even were everything else perfect, a big difference in sex drives is already an insurmountable obstacle in any relationship - one that can't be worked around unless both parties are seriously and honestly ok with opening it, which is not really something that should be used as a crutch.

Add to that what you've told us about the job quitting, and your answer to his expectations clearly becomes "Um, no. And there's the door."

 

[MasonJay]

Well, much has happened. I had a quasi-date with a guy, and loved it. I didn't have sex with the guy, but we didn't leave the place completely innocent either. My bf is going to move out of state to find another job, and I'm staying where I'm at and finishing out my contracts with my current employers. We will be living apart, and will still be open and I am keeping my cat. He said he never wants to be with anyone else again, since the experience that he had back in December was terrible for him and wanted to close the relationship the day before I went out with a new guy (first time since we opened up the relationship a year ago)--I just told him that I wasn't sure how I wanted to proceed with the open thing since sex at home is so sparse (It was twice this past month, so that was an improvement?...lol). He gets so jealous if I just go out with platonic friends to play video games, so I'm not sure how everything will turn out, but I'm hoping for the best. He is living completely off of me for the next month and then he'll be on his own when it comes to money. With him doing nothing these days, it is getting difficult for me to be completely sympathetic to his situation, but I'm staying as nice about it as I can.

Thanks guys for all your input. Some of it was actually hard to hear, but most of it was the truth. I just hope I am making the right decisions now. Only time will tell...