so theres this guy

[skaterboi]

i met this guy a week ago at a music festival in boro, hes really cute and everything. Problem is at the time i was getting off with a lass so probably gave him the wrong first impression.
anyway i managed to get his msn from a friends friend and got talking with him, hes deff my type of guy and can just talk random shit with him about pretty much anything.
anyway so i move back down to leeds in a couple of weeks and just found out today that he likes me and i really like him, is it worth trying to start something with him knowing ill have to move in just a few weeks time meaning ill hardly be able to see him?
few other things to add into the mix, hes out and been out for a while as far as i can tell me on the other hand am pretty much anything but out (only two people know) and i wouldnt want to bring baggage with me. were both virgins wich i thinks great and hes deff the type of guy i could see myself with. downside is i would be playing a little too close to home in the sense that theirs a high chance someone i know or someone my friends or family know might see me with him while out in boro.
not really sure of the point of my ramblings but everyone here always seems to be full of good advice

 

[Eagle653]

Hi skaterboi, I would go for him. See what happens. Try not to plan out the next decade of your life in the next few days. First things first.

Let's say, for example, that you met up with him and he is, indeed, Mr. Right. And, you are Mr. Right for him. You fall so heavily that you abandon your relocation to Leeds and come out so you can be openly with him 24/7.

OK, perhaps that's a bit far-fetched (or downright scary), but if you don't pursue this with him, it will haunt you for a long time...you will be haunted continually with all the "what if's." Just meet up with him, and somewhere along the getting-to-know-you conversations mention your relocation. See how he reacts. Does he drop you? Cool it? Plan to relocate with you? Express sorrow? Start planning ways to continue this long-distance? His reaction will tell you a lot.

On the other hand, maybe he just SEEMS to be your type. Once you get to know him, warts and all, he may not have as much luster and he seems from afar. Again, though, you'll have your answer.

I'm just afraid that if you don't pursue this to satisfy your curiosity about him, it will nag you for a long time. And, that's a pit-in-the-stomach feeling...the one that got away feeling.

Good luck. Keep in touch and let us know what you do and what happens.

 

[trawler69]

Go for it. Nothing ventured nothing gained etc. Also the "what if I had" feeling can be torture. If you are right for each other you will both make it work one way or another. If you are not right for each other then at least you come away with no regrets for not having tried. Good luck.

 

[emoboi]

have to agree with everyone else here in that you should give it a shot. you both like eachother so it's definately worth seeing where it goes. a couple of weeks is still a couple of weeks, and plenty of time for things to develop in one way or another

 

[spreadeagle]

Well - your thinking is conflicted. He's definitely the type of guy you could see yourself with, but you're worried that there's a high chance someone you know might see you out together. This suggests a relationship where the two of you talk shit to each other in a vacuum. Relationships like this are rarely satisfying because they are devoid of context.

I think you should definitely see more of him before you return to Leeds so long as you explain at the outset that those are your plans. Should people who know you see you out together in Boro, you'll be off to Leeds soon enough for them to have forgotten all about it beforer they see you again.

It's only by spending time together now that you can get any clarity on the possibility of spending time together in the future. If you get on well it might be possible for him to relocate to Leeds where there may be more of the anonymity you require.

You might want to consider whether your best prospects of happiness lie in pleasing yourself or in pleasing other people.

 

[skaterboi]

well ive asked him if he wants to come out for a few drinks on Thursday night, just have to wait and see what he says now

 

[3nipples]

^^ good for you and good luck

 

[biguy69]

Doing stuff on home turf is always scary at first. At the end of the day, don't let your fear ruin what could be a great relationship, if you do you'll always wonder what might have been.

Grab the bull by the horns. [pun intended]

 

[skaterboi]

not sure whats happening on the night anymore, but hes said hes also going to be about in middlesbrough tomorrow day time while I'm their shopping with a friend, hope I bump into him
haha i can't sleep really excited

 

[emoboi]

awesome. glad it's looking well. keep us all posted, and hope you bump into him on the shopping trip

 

[skaterboi]

well bumped into him the other day, both of us too shy to talk to eachother so spent the full time chatting to eachothers friends instead.
our mutual friend texted him later asking if he was going to a night club on the 29th, he texted back asking if i was going (the mutual friend didnt seem pleased....) well excited just hope i can formulate some words this time! he sent me a myspace message this morning saying sorry for being so shy as well bless him hes so sweet
weird thing is the mutual friend is starting to get all weird with me and she thinks i talk about him too much, she even had a go at me for not replying to her texts with "i love you" at the end after she has. i'm well confused by her, whys she being like this?

 

[ichorinmyveins2]

Heed your heart with a proper guidance from your mind.

 

[rareboy]

I think you have too much baggage and it is unfair to expect this guy to do any heavy lifting.

He's out, you're afraid. It can only end in disaster. Leave him be and if he pursues you, great. If not, go back to banging the lasses until you're more comfortable in your own skin.

 

[emoboi]

thats cool that both of you were shy in a way as it shows that you both like eachother etc. also great news about the club, you gonna go? get a few bevies in you as some liquid courage and get talking to eachother =)

 

[skaterboi]

I think you have too much baggage and it is unfair to expect this guy to do any heavy lifting.

He's out, you're afraid. It can only end in disaster. Leave him be and if he pursues you, great. If not, go back to banging the lasses until you're more comfortable in your own skin.

Ermm I don't "bang" the lasses at all, just have a nasty habit of getting off with them and only when drunk!
Well hes not out to his dad and im not out to my parents, i have three groups of friends, my local/same friends as my identical twin brother who dont know im gay, my friends from leeds who also dont know im gay and then my friends from middlesbrough who know im gay (yeah kinda alot to keep track of) and im pretty sure hes out to his friends.

thats cool that both of you were shy in a way as it shows that you both like eachother etc. also great news about the club, you gonna go? get a few bevies in you as some liquid courage and get talking to eachother =)

yeah I'm deff going to go! nothing ventured nothing gained right?
have messaged him inviting him out on monday just waiting to see what he says now.

 

[emoboi]

nothing ventured nothing gained right?

definately. if you both like each other then it's definately worth the possible gains =)

have messaged him inviting him out on monday just waiting to see what he says now.

bonza =) keep us posted on how it goes

 

[skaterboi]

well having read over this thread again I decided I probably do have too much baggage right now to dump it onto someone else so deicded to come out to my friends in Leeds, went quite well and i'm really excited to move back their in July. although one of my friends asked "well now that you're gay are you going to start liking George Micheals' music" lol

will hopefully give me more of a chance of something happening as I wont feel like i've got to hide it, and on the plus side his sister and one of his best friends also live in leeds so he visits all the time, he even suggested him getting a job in leeds over the summer so we could go on a few nights out and that
not getting my hopes up too much, but cant help but smile when i think of him

 

[emoboi]

wow that's a pretty big step, but seems like the right one though. glad all the friends were cool with it, and you've got to love the sterotype associations of some people =)

bonza about the guy having people to visit in leeds =) probably best not to get hopes up, but just go with the flow etc

 

[Just_Believe18]

Keep us posted. You're a cute guy.

 

[skaterboi]

our mutual friend asked him if it was ok for me to have his number and he said it was fine, but she texted him with mine instead and he texted me straight away, been talking to him loads now ive like never felt this way about anyone. hes amazing maybe their really is such a thing as love at first sight
ive never been so happy in my life is so nice to think i might have someone, have invited him out next week during the day so just waiting for him to get back to me
just feels like i can talk about anything with him, hell was even on about some rash he has and how he was at the docs today, hes all i can think about and every time i close my eyes i can see his smile. i could just sit and cry because i never thought i would ever feel this happy or excited before.
sorry to ramble on have had quite a few to drink at a party tonight, but i really never thought i could feel like this about a guy, s nice to have these forums everyones so helpful