so theres this guy.....

[dude89young]

Hey im just wondering what your thoughts are on the use of the word "gay"...

I know this guy and I think there is something going on between us. Its hard to tell but i often find him looking at me, and our eyes meet for a few seconds before one of us looks away again. Neither of us are out by the way.

Anyway sometimes when we chat online, which is like a few times a week usually, he will use the word "gay" to refer to something thats like bad or annoying...it always seems off hand when he says it....do you think he is really interested? have you ever known gay gays, or closeted gay guys to use the word in this way? (I mean I have used it some times like this)....

Maybe he's doing it in an attempt to make me think hes not gay????
Who knows...Please help!

 

[stripes]

i wouldn't read into it too much. i use it like that all the time. i know some people find it offensive but i just do it out of habit and it's also the people i hang around

 

[star-warrior]

I agree with stripes. He's your friend, therefore he's relaxed in your presence or with your company. He lets himself say things and do things he would not do with other people not within his friends group. That doesn't mean, however, he's wanting anything more than the friendship you already have. I wouldn't muck it up if you value him as a friend.

 

[mydrew1]

I'm infuriated at the casual negative use of it. However, you can't interrupt people's conversations you've overheard since it's rude.

 

[jaycee style]

after i met my homeboy johnny, i naturally stopped calling stuff gay, like if there was a storm and my cable went out and i would be "aawww man that's gay"

but then when you know somebody gay it just kind of goes away, not like on purpose with hella thought put into, just find a new word to describe something like subconciously or whatever.

like the word faggot, like if somebody pissed me off in traffic i would yell that out the window, not even thinking of gay people, and now i just yell "douchebag"

since i've been watching so much british tv, i'll say "bollocks" now

if you just tell your homeboy your like gay or whatever it might just fade away.

vernacular is a funny thing, like in those other countries, as we all know, they call cigarettes "fags"

i don't think i'm helping at all, i'm just tired (knackered) as hell babbling through the keyboard

 

[Gottarun65]

I can't say that I don't use it like that, its just a habit I picked up, its not its a big deal. Although I can see how gay men can take offense to it, I just never have, its just a stupid slang thing.

 

[jaycee style]

well it's exactly "slang"

"slang" is more for new words, it's actually unoffcially redefining an already existing word.

in which we now must pay attention to context.

which is something that gay and black people typically don't do.

like about a decade ago, when some dude used the word niggardly in the white house. black people flipped thier shit and not only were reading it out of context,

IT'S NOT EVEN THE SAME DAMN WORD.

 

[moto]

i don't think i'm helping at all, i'm just tired (knackered) as hell babbling through the keyboard

no actually i think u made a very relevant advce

dudeyoung, i totally agree with most of the guys here- doesnt matter if he uses words like gay, fag.... etc. as hes expression, what matters is whats going on between the two of you-as long as you feel that hes being true himself and theres a connection between you two, enough for you to understand his lingo then theres nothing to worry about

 

[dude89young]

okay so...we have still been spending alot of time together recently. nothing has happened yet between us. but i mean we have spending alot more time together and i've been to his house three of four times...

he was also talking to me about another mutual friend who has just told him he's gay...(everyones known for ages that this guy was gay, but he only confirmed it recently). he told me about it out of the blue...

do you think he was trying to bring up the topic of conversation to get me talking?

oh and by the way, he wasn't telling me about the other person being gay in a bad way...he wasn't saying like "oh how disgusting so and so it gay"...

thanks for your continued advice guys.

thanks.

 

[PeopleYouKnow]

Be casual. If anything is to go down, he'll be making the first move. He's in the power position.

 

[kramer362]

Did he seem to be gauging your reaction? I'd say to just act positive about it and see if the subject goes anywhere further.