Look, people tell me all the damn time that I’m uncompromising, but really, I’m not. I know this but somehow it’s not what people will believe. I don’t know you, so I don’t know what you’re really like, but I can tell you this, if you behave in such a way that you won’t say anything without the caveat of someone first making it a specific point of asking, I’d take that as a cue to avoid the subject. Like I said, you may not be at a place where you can be out with total impunity - coming out is a process, there are a lot of stages; and that would be your issue to work on, but I don’t think you should assume that anyone ever really knows what’s going on in your head and leave it at that. It's asking for misunderstandings to assume people are going to assume. If you want people to know you're totally OK with it, why not be totally open about it? Tell them, ask the guy out, I've done that before, asked a guy out without the slightest clue if he was gay or not. Low probability of success that.
If it was me in your predicament, the first thing I'd have done was make sure he knew I was gay, then if he responded positively to that, I'd have asked him out.
You pay your money you take your chances, not every gay guy is gonna be into you, but you NEVER know if you NEVER try.
It’s a fine line, and it’s why being openly, totally out is the only answer. I live my life talking about my life the exact same way anyone else does. If I see a hot guy, I’ll say so, if I’m dating someone, I’ll talk about him, if I get invited to dinner, I’ll bring a date, and on and on and on. Because I couldn’t give a tinker’s damn about people who have issues. It’s my life, my terms to live it, and I refuse to hide on any level.
It generates a lovely little piece of karma when you do this, because you discover that people really don’t care much if you’re gay or not, and the ones who do, take themselves right out of your path.
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