The Original Gay Porn Community - Free Gay Movies and Photos, Gay Porn Site Reviews and Adult Gay Forums

  • Welcome To Just Us Boys - The World's Largest Gay Message Board Community

    In order to comply with recent US Supreme Court rulings regarding adult content, we will be making changes in the future to require that you log into your account to view adult content on the site.
    If you do not have an account, please register.
    REGISTER HERE - 100% FREE / We Will Never Sell Your Info

    PLEASE READ: To register, turn off your VPN (iPhone users- disable iCloud); you can re-enable the VPN after registration. You must maintain an active email address on your account: disposable email addresses cannot be used to register.

  • The Support & Advice forum is a no-flame zone.
    The members offering support and advice do so with the best intention. If you ask for advice, we don't require you to take the advice, but we do ask that you listen and give it consideration.

So Very Confused

D

Dalton

Joined
Jun 28, 2012
Posts
19
Reaction score
0
Points
1
Last summer, I roomed with a guy. Long story short, he basically changed me completely as a person (more confident, less shy, more open about my feelings), and to this date, he still is one of the best guys that I've ever met. He's actually a closeted gay, and I'm bi, but he was always completely open with me. I pretty much fell hard for him, but it was unrequited. He knew I liked him, and he was okay with it while we were still roommates.
It took me eleven hard months to get over him. I was so in love with him, and he just kept hurting me over and over again. Over the summer, we had always held conversations at night for hours, but I couldn't even talk to him for five minutes anymore before he would leave mid-conversation. He always told me he was here for me, yet I feel that the relationship is so one dimensional because I'm always the one striking up the conversations and putting the effort in to try and keep our friendship intact.
Anyway, for the first time ever, he messaged me first two nights ago, telling me that we should acknowledge the one year anniversary from when we were roommates. I tried to play it off as if i could care less, and I was more confused about why he messaged me, especially since talking about memories was always out of his realm. He then went on to ask me how I was, which was also out of character for him, but also how we should "catch up" soon. It was two months ago when I last talked to him, and it was also when i finally got over him, since he didn't even wish me a happy birthday, but him striking up this conversation just brought all of those past feelings back. I don't like him anymore, i know that, but i just want to see him again. Yet, I don't want to be stuck on him again, so I'm entirely conflicted. Also, although it was his idea to catch up, I feel like I need to be the person to set up the date. Is it wrong for me? I don't know..
I sense that he wants something, but he's never asked for anything from me before. He's moving away in a month, which i know as well, so this may be the last time I will ever see him. I just don't know whether or not I should actually go through with it or not and it's been keeping me up for the past two nights. Any advice?
 
I think you shouldn't try to overthink. It's hard to since our mind seems to enjoy twisting fantasy into reality, and maybe that's what's happening with you right now? I'd say you have to take it at face value and not try to guess his intentions. Perhaps he just misses you as a person. I often do this with friends I haven't seen or talked to in a while - randomly say hi, how are you, wanna catch up and chill etc.

Anyway, you're under no obligation to set up a date. Do what makes you happy and what makes you most comfortable. If you feel like meeting up with him will mindfuck you then don't, but if you feel like you'll regret not meeting up with him then you should go ahead and see him.

Personally, I wouldn't bother because why should you put in effort with someone who never tried to begin with?
 
I wouldn't be the one to set it up, but if he takes the initiative I'd go to say good-bye and I think that would give you closure as he moves away.
 
You should see him. If nothing else, but to see him in his real light, when you're NOT infatuated with him, just for some mental closure on your part. Sometimes when we get crushes/infatuated, we tend to over look their faults and make excuses for them. Now that you're over him, you can see him how he really is and you'll be able to tell the rational side of you he wasn't really all that.

I also think, because you said he was a good friend, you shouldn't hold your crush/infatuation against him. If you really do value him as a friend, then BE a friend to him.
 
Go for closure. This is the final chapter in this book. You should be ready to close it, not mull over the last few pages. It could dredge up old feelings, but it could allow you to come to peace with them in a proper, healthy way.
 
If it's not gonna mess you up again, go and close this chapter of your life. If it will fuck with you, then stay away. Don't go. You're in a better mindset now, you don't want him to ruin it again.

Trust me on that last one. I've been through similar things in the past 6months. Was infatuated with a "friend", had a break from the friendship for a couple months and then he came back and headfucked me again, until my other friends staged an "intervention" that made me realise what he was doing. SO now in the cold light of day (ie. me not having feelings for him) I can see him for what he really was, a cold, materialistic bitch who used my feelings for him to get me to buy and do things for him. I was used, and now that I see it, I don't want anything further to do with him.
 
You have a decision to make as to whether you're ready to resume the friendship. That friendship was inconsistent and at times, largely one-sided. If you do decide to resume the friendship, you have to be willing to accept that things may not be any different the second time around.

Or, it may be that you would prefer to remember the good things that came out of your past friendship with him... and leave the friendship as a part of your past.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top