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so wrong it's right

T

TeddyM

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Where do I start? I meet this guy couple of months ago online and we decided to go out for a coffe.I thought it would be standard one night staind(caffe,small talk,sex,i'll see you around) but instaid turns up I like this guy.He's very smart,nice,racional and very cute.We talked and talked and decide to take things slowly.We kissed on our third date and it was amazing(movie style :P ) I'm starting to falling for this guy.The thing that holds me is that he's married to a woman and has a child.I tried to stop contact with him but he keeps sending me messages that he wants to see me.I even try to iniciate a fight and he said that he turn down guys for less than a fight but he couldn't give up from me that easy.I'm dying to see him but I'm not sure it would lead somewhere.I'm not out yet and I don't dream wedding yet but I don't want to hide all my live.He has a carrier and family at risk and a very little free time for me.I'm in agony this days.I'm thinking about him all the time.Don't know how I fell.How can something so right to be so wrong?Should I see him again(which I want so badly)? If I see him would that complicate the things even more?Should I erase his number?I c can really use some advice here.
Thanks :)
 
TeddyM said:
... I meet this guy couple of months ago online...he's married to a woman and has a child....I tried to stop contact with him but he keeps sending me messages that he wants to see me.
Click to expand...
Actually, the problem is not that he sends you messages. The problem is that you answer the messages.

TeddyM said:
... How can something so right to be so wrong?
Click to expand...
Where was the "right" part?

TeddyM said:
... Should I see him again(which I want so badly)?
Click to expand...
No.

TeddyM said:
... If I see him would that complicate the things even more?
Click to expand...
Yes.

TeddyM said:
... Should I erase his number?
Click to expand...
Yes.
 
You've been trying to push him away because you know this is wrong for so many reasons. You're already obsessed with him, so imagine what it will be like after sex. You have no future with him because he won't give up his wife and family for you. Even if he wants you for his mistress, do you really want to be someone's secret bit on the side?
 
Ohhh you know what I ment by the right part,been dating for years and rearly felt this right.I know how it sounds but it's diferent in my head.I feel the HI and the LOW at the same time.Even if he want to leave his wife I can't let him do that and I most certanly don't want to be someone's on the side.Maybe I'm obseesed.Whatever it is I just hope it will go away soon
 
it won't go away until you end it. no contact with him at all. no texting, calling, emailing, nothing. even then it's still going to hurt but it gets better. there will be good days and bad but with time it'll get better. have a conversation with him and tell him you need to end things. be strong and don't let him talk you out of it. you know this isn't going to work in the long run. if you keep seeing or talking with him it's only going to get harder to end it. as stated by someone else he's not going to leave his wife and child. you've said you don't want to be the guy on the side but that's exactly what you are right now. I'm sorry this has happened to you. you're not the first nor will you be the last guy that gets into this situation. it seldom works out. I hope you're strong enough to do the right thing and end this now.

Steven
 
Life is about choice. Most people gravitate to what feels good. Affairs can be fun and exciting and some people stay in them for those reasons. A person voluntarily ends an affair when the pain of being with the other person is greater than the pain of being apart. Once emotion is involved we tend to want to spend more and more time together and thus the process of resentment begins. I would advise any person contemplating an affair to consider all the potential drama, including someone pulling a gun. Short of that ultimate drama, there are all sorts of potential twists and turns.

I had affairs with men while married to my ex-wife. I couldn't stand the double life after a while. I got divorced and now have been with my husband almost 33 years. We consider my ex-wife as part of our extended family. We all raised two children and now a grandchild together.
 
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