so your boyfriend is a pornstar? what now???

[duroc5088]

alright, i'm sorta talkin to a guy, and he is really cool, have known him for quite a while, i knew that he danced at the local bar, which is no big deal, but just the other day i ran across a "VIDEO" that he did, not sure when he did it, or where it was done, but i'm also not sure how i feel about it, he's about to enter law school, and is very driven and just an all around great guy. My question is, should it matter that he has done a proffessional video? i know it shouldnt matter as long as i like him, not really interested in anyones opinions of how shallow i am and blah blah blah, because i've read enough of these threads to know that you guys love to have a cyber beat down on people that ask questions like this, just wondering what you would do in this situation? would you bring it up? ask him about it? or make light of it in a joking manner just to kick start the conversation abou it?

 

[BlondeCanadian]

Re: so your boyfriend is a porstar? what now???

agreed with above. I honestly couldnt care less if he did porn, I just hope it doesnt come back to hurt his career. That being said a law student hot and hung enough to do porn... congrats!

 

[Knucklehead]

Re: so your boyfriend is a porstar? what now???

Hard to say. If it doesn't bother you, then I wouldn't bother bringing it up.Wait for him to mention it if he feels like.

 

[Seasoned]

Re: so your boyfriend is a porstar? what now???

Well he's probably going to have to get used to people bringing it up. This may follow him in law school and beyond. I'd try to find a way to let him know that you know without making a bid deal of it. It can be difficult holding on to information and not sharing it. You have the best perspective to know how to proceed.

 

[Shepherd 2]

Re: so your boyfriend is a porstar? what now???

Duroc,
If this question were just the other way around, how would you handle that? My hope is you would be willing to be open and honest with him. You know, so I would bring it up for discussion at some point, especially if this becomes a developing relationship. You have a past too, but this you know about because you have and have viewed the video.

There is nothing he has done which would make it impossible for him to go to law school and enter the bar association of lawyers.

Good luck to you,
Shep+

 

[duroc5088]

Re: so your boyfriend is a porstar? what now???

Duroc,
If this question were just the other way around, how would you handle that? My hope is you would be willing to be open and honest with him. You know, so I would bring it up for discussion at some point, especially if this becomes a developing relationship. You have a past too, but this you know about because you have and have viewed the video.

There is nothing he has done which would make it impossible for him to go to law school and enter the bar association of lawyers.

Good luck to you,
Shep+

Shep,
Everything you said is very true, but on the other hand i work in the oilfield, and despite the pics i have on here, i have stepped up my game and have been offered to do porn in dallas, but have turned it down for fear of it following me in my career. Life is about decisions, there is no doubt i have made decisions that will haunt me until the day I die, and will not reveal those decisions to anyone, EVER!!! i'm sure he feels the same way about this decision. I was sent the vid by a friend, who had seen it on a website he has a membership to. I'm sure eventually the subject will arise and he have to face the "music" so to speak. but i'm not going to make a big deal out of it. bottom line, he's a good guy with a kind heart, and he comes from a less than fortunate background. So maybe he had to do it just to have money to survive, who knows?

 

[jaysizzles]

Re: so your boyfriend is a porstar? what now???

I agree that not everything in our pasts has to be shared...but I think in this case you should let him know you know this about him. It may come as a relief to him to have it out in the open. You can let him know you don't expect to know all his secrets and respect his right to privacy for his past...that you are not sharing all of yours either, but since you know this about him...I think it's best to be straight up with him. You don't need this hanging over yours or his head...that proverbially elephant in the room. Discuss it, deal with it, move past it and put it to rest...and get on with your relationship.

 

[Croynan]

Re: so your boyfriend is a porstar? what now???

deleted/eM./

 

[sentirpromesas]

Re: so your boyfriend is a porstar? what now???

It really depends on how you feel.

I've done cam shows for money before (when i was younger and prettier), and that's one of the first things i tell someone i'm dated (usually people ask something like "what's a secret you have?" or something of the sort). i explain it was a long time ago, and that they shouldn't be surprised if they run across a video or something (which i highly doubt, but you never know). Usually it doesn't hurt my chances but if it does, there are more guys out there

 

[geloge]

Re: so your boyfriend is a porstar? what now???

I try to live in present not in past

 

[justsimon]

Re: so your boyfriend is a porstar? what now???

I'd talk to him about it because it's clearly bothering you a bit. Make sure he knows you're not judging him.

Is that a new pic in your profile? It's hot.

 

[saymyname]

Re: so your boyfriend is a porstar? what now???

I would have to agree that one video does not = a pornstar... I just made a thread on this about 2 weeks ago.

By the way, to the guy who won't date a slut - that's so nasty of you, so judgmental. Everyone has a different opinion of what a 'slut' is, and I have to wonder, why are people so afraid of pleasure and sex and freedom? How does having sex with a lot of people, as long as you're respecting yourself and others, a bad thing? On second thought, don't answer. I'm just musing. I just don't like sex-negative people.

 

[DigitalFudge]

Re: so your boyfriend is a porstar? what now???

Find happiness anyway you cant

Life is too short

Take that how you want

 

[btimsah]

Re: so your boyfriend is a porstar? what now???

alright, i'm sorta talkin to a guy, and he is really cool, have known him for quite a while, i knew that he danced at the local bar, which is no big deal, but just the other day i ran across a "VIDEO" that he did, not sure when he did it, or where it was done, but i'm also not sure how i feel about it, he's about to enter law school, and is very driven and just an all around great guy. My question is, should it matter that he has done a proffessional video? i know it shouldnt matter as long as i like him, not really interested in anyones opinions of how shallow i am and blah blah blah, because i've read enough of these threads to know that you guys love to have a cyber beat down on people that ask questions like this, just wondering what you would do in this situation? would you bring it up? ask him about it? or make light of it in a joking manner just to kick start the conversation abou it?

I'd ask em' about it. Get it out on the table. Don't let it fester.. I guess my next question would be what's the video and can we see it? lol

 

[boiseboy]

Re: so your boyfriend is a porstar? what now???

I would have to agree that one video does not = a pornstar... I just made a thread on this about 2 weeks ago.

By the way, to the guy who won't date a slut - that's so nasty of you, so judgmental. Everyone has a different opinion of what a 'slut' is, and I have to wonder, why are people so afraid of pleasure and sex and freedom? How does having sex with a lot of people, as long as you're respecting yourself and others, a bad thing? On second thought, don't answer. I'm just musing. I just don't like sex-negative people.

It lowers the "meaning of sex." I mean, from my personal experience, i went through a hookup phase and sex got more and more boring the more i did it. It felt good, but when i had a boyfriend i kind of expected it from him and it was kind of routine. hang out, sex, leave.

I totally get why someone wouldnt want to date someone whos been around the block.

 

[Centexfarmer]

Re: so your boyfriend is a porstar? what now???

alright, i'm sorta talkin to a guy, and he is really cool, have known him for quite a while, i knew that he danced at the local bar, which is no big deal, but just the other day i ran across a "VIDEO" that he did, not sure when he did it, or where it was done, but i'm also not sure how i feel about it, he's about to enter law school, and is very driven and just an all around great guy. My question is, should it matter that he has done a proffessional video? i know it shouldnt matter as long as i like him, not really interested in anyones opinions of how shallow i am and blah blah blah, because i've read enough of these threads to know that you guys love to have a cyber beat down on people that ask questions like this, just wondering what you would do in this situation? would you bring it up? ask him about it? or make light of it in a joking manner just to kick start the conversation abou it?

I'd be busting off fireworks!

But there you go, like most of us, second guessing every fucking thing.

I'm just saying.

Just let him know that you saw the "video" and see what his response is.

 

[cityboy-stl]

Hmmm, I'd ask if he could bring some work home in the evening...

Seriously, 1 video does not make him a porn "star". I would feel much worse to find out a BF had a criminal past. Making a video is really no big deal in my opinion. He probably needed the money. If it's bothering you enough to post about though you should probably talk to him.

Reminds me of Andrew and his Dr. boyfriend on Desperate Housewives. The BF did a video for money when he was younger. Andrew was perfectly OK with it because he loved the guy.

 

[josher]

Are you interested in having a relationship with him?

If you are, and things look like they're getting serious, I'd talk to him about it, if it was getting in the way af your relationship.

If not, I wouldn't say anything, because he may see you as a threat. Even if you reassure him that you won't say anything to anyone, he's always going to be apprehensive that you'll spill the beans.

 

[NVRMOR]

I'm gone to Disney World and scream "I bagged me a porn star!"
Course...that's just me

 

[freefall]

Talk about this with if you're really concerned. Then take your own time to decide after hearing the truth.

But if you really like/love him, then him being in porn is not a really big deal, especially if the feeling's mutual. And besides, it's one video. So it's in the past. Try not looking a gift horse in the mouth for a change.