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So, you're gay, but all your friends are straight?

Gomaki

Gomaki

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I'm just kind of curious.

To any other guys who are predominantly friends with straight guys, how do you act?

For me, I dunno, I guess we can talk about similar interests and stuff, like any friends would do. But, when it comes down to it, and they are all discussing girls and their sex lives, I feel kind of unrelatable. I suppose it would be the same otherwise, if I were the one talking about my sex life. But being the minority, it doesn't really come up much.

How do you guys go about this issue? What sort of attitudes do you think are useful?
 
Re: So, you're gay, but all your friends are strai

Almost all my friends are straight for the most part. I actually just find that we have a lot more in common. I grew up with them as well. My friends and I are very open so we don't really hold much back. It took a while and jokes are always a great way to lighten the mood and get everyone comfortable over time. We're at a great comfort level with me being out while all of them are straight. Most have even come out to gay bars in support.
 
Re: So, you're gay, but all your friends are strai

I have only 2 gay guy friends and 2 lesbo's all the rest of my guy friends are straight. Funny sex lives don't really come up all that much. If it does I guess since most of my friends don't know I'm gay I usually just talk about it and they assume I'm talking about girls but they don't really ask. I'm sure most of them know since I am 30 and not married so......I guess do they know your gay is the question and are they okay with you talking about that kind of stuff with them?
 
Re: So, you're gay, but all your friends are strai

All of my current friends are straight. It's a struggle. Some of those guys are cute, but I wouldn't do anything to jeopardize the friendship.
 
Re: So, you're gay, but all your friends are strai

I suppose in my case, only my really good friends have been told (i don't want to say they are the only ones who know... because i don't know who has figured it out or not on their own). But yeah. I'm gonna really complaining, because I love my friends and we get along great, but sometimes I feel a little different (not in a huge, dramatic way, but it's there).

For example, we go to a club (mainstream, straight). And yeah sometimes it's cool, but sometimes it's a little lonely being the only one not trying to hook up with girls. I suppose its natural to feel a bit isolated in that situation right? I don't really like the music at clubs, so I mainly just wanna go to hang out with my buddies. I don't want to be babysat either, because I guess thats why guys go to clubs in the first place... but in the end, I'm not sure how to act in this sort of situation.
 
Re: So, you're gay, but all your friends are strai

I know what you mean. For me talking about the sex thing isn't a prob. I just just talk about it without being specific. What does get me sometimes is when they say stuff like: : "Come on don't be a faggot," or some variation of that. They don't say it to me or anything but that's when I feel different because then I realize they still associate being gay with being bad. Then I start to think about what they really think of me and yada yada yada. But yeah I get it when you say sometimes you feel "different" but hey its come with the friendship right?
 
Re: So, you're gay, but all your friends are strai

LuckyK87 said:
I know what you mean. For me talking about the sex thing isn't a prob. I just just talk about it without being specific. What does get me sometimes is when they say stuff like: : "Come on don't be a faggot," or some variation of that. They don't say it to me or anything but that's when I feel different because then I realize they still associate being gay with being bad. Then I start to think about what they really think of me and yada yada yada. But yeah I get it when you say sometimes you feel "different" but hey its come with the friendship right?
Click to expand...

Dead on!
99% Straight friends too -_-
After every joke about masculinity or "gay-themed" I can feel them staring at me for a short period of time and then moving on, until next joke.
I learned to adapt and make jokes like that myself, I know it's disgraceful.
 
Re: So, you're gay, but all your friends are strai

Well, they're my friends. We have a lot of common ground. We talk about our common interests, our lives, whatever. We may talk about sex, but even then, it tends te be more along the lines of "So, I've got a new girlfriend" or "I was trying to pick up a girl last night", not "I got a blowjob last night". And all that stuff is totally relateable to me. No, I don't have a girlfriend, and I'm not interested in girl parts. But I know what it's like to be single. I know what it's like to be in the hunt. I know what it's like to be horny and looking for somebody for the night. I know what it's like to be in the early and later stages of a relationship. I know what it's like to be in one that isn't working out, and wondering if you should end it. So yeah, there's more vaginas and fewer cocks in their stories, but it's not like the concept is unfamiliar. Why shouldn't I be able to participate?

Lex
 
Re: So, you're gay, but all your friends are strai

Almost all of my friends are straight. As someone said, I only hang out with people I relate to. Only recently have I started hanging out with other gay people. I find those relationships a lot harder to keep. Either they are looking for a hookup or know I just want to be friends and get jealous when I'm with someone else. Maybe it's just the few people I've been around. I never really talked sex around my straight friends. Then again, I usually hang out with both guys and girls at the same time so the issue never gets brought up.
 
Re: So, you're gay, but all your friends are strai

100% of my friends are straight, and it's all about hanging out with those with whom you have a common bond and connection. I have known most of my friends for 20+ years - I know what to expect from them, and vice versa, so whenever I hear "straight talk" I just take it with a grain of salt as a part of them - as they do with me whenever I dish it out by talking about men, making sexual innuendo's etc.
 
Re: So, you're gay, but all your friends are strai

My friends and I talk about sex, but mostly jokingly


and about dates and stuff, once again, for fun...


we have a lot of other things in common, and we talk mostly about the other stuff anyway.
 
Re: So, you're gay, but all your friends are strai

The vast majority of my friends are straight guys, and when they start talking about girls or whatever, I'll sometimes laugh at the jokes or ask questions... but I usually just wait until the subject changes to something I am interested in. I have had a few friends tell me on separate occasions that they realize I get bored with conversations about girls, and that they try and change the subject to accommodate my interests. I don't think I have had any conversations with a group of straight guy friends about my sex life, though I have had one-on-one talks.
 
Re: So, you're gay, but all your friends are strai

Yeah, the majority of my friends are heterosexual, but as others have mentioned it just something you go with the flow of. They know that I'm not heterosexual, but it doesn't impede the discussion of me or them asking for imput from me.
 
Re: So, you're gay, but all your friends are strai

Can't say I've ever had this problem. I always tell my straight friends what I'm doing, who I'm doing, how my nights out were, all the gossip. Just like I ask them questions about their personal lives and any goss they may have as well.

Personally if one of my friends didn't want to hear about my dealings, they wouldn't be my friend. Luckily I have been out long enough to weed out the good friends from the fairweather friends.

I just don't have time or effort anymore to "pretend" or play down being gay around anyone.
 
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