The Original Gay Porn Community - Free Gay Movies and Photos, Gay Porn Site Reviews and Adult Gay Forums

  • Welcome To Just Us Boys - The World's Largest Gay Message Board Community

    In order to comply with recent US Supreme Court rulings regarding adult content, we will be making changes in the future to require that you log into your account to view adult content on the site.
    If you do not have an account, please register.
    REGISTER HERE - 100% FREE / We Will Never Sell Your Info

    PLEASE READ: To register, turn off your VPN (iPhone users- disable iCloud); you can re-enable the VPN after registration. You must maintain an active email address on your account: disposable email addresses cannot be used to register.

  • The Support & Advice forum is a no-flame zone.
    The members offering support and advice do so with the best intention. If you ask for advice, we don't require you to take the advice, but we do ask that you listen and give it consideration.

Socially awkward

  • Thread starter Thread starter Croft85
  • Start date Start date
C

Croft85

Guest
I don't know how to act with my friend. when I try to goof, off like he does with me.he gets little annoyed. It's been this way all my life. No matter how I'm friends with. Why is it always ok for them to good off but not me?

It also does help that he caught me looking at his body he was shirtless and I was happened to admire his body. Not in a lustful way. Im jealous he has abs lol .i just don't know how to act around people I'm so socially awkward. Any way to overcome this
 
Also I don't know way but I apparently give off a virgin vib I'm not but that's what everyone assumes. I have 0 confidence and self-esteem. I know im pathetic. Do know how to change. Been like this from day one.
 
You've mentioned this before since your first post, where a good friend found another guy he liked to hang around with and had more in common with, and it left you feeling shut out and lonely.
Do you make friends with guys who have similar interests as you (comic books, sports, stargazing or whatever)? It would seem the mutual interest would be a "doorway" thru which you can both talk to each other and minimize awkwardness.
There is nothing wrong with being awkward, only with having friends who get annoyed with you for acting awkward in their presence. Maybe you should develop friendships more slowly (I don't know, maybe you already are doing that), so you don't end up with "friends" who really aren't truly friends. Aristotle used to talk about the three types of friendships: friendships of utility (as in, you're friends because you have a car and they need you to drive them places. Hence, you are a "useful" friend).
Then there are friendships of Pleasure (guys who all like football, or fishing, or skiing, and the pleasure comes from a shared interest in certain activities). Aristotle said those relationships only lasted as long as both people got pleasure out of the same things. Once one person's interests changed, the relationship foundered (fell apart).
The third - and BEST - relationship, he said, was when the person liked you for the virtues you had. In other words, they like you for yourself, not because you provide some benefit, or because you both like to go to Comic Com conventions and dress up like Darth Vader. And you also like them for themselves. (It goes both ways). He called this "people of similar good virtue" as in "Peace on Earth to men of Good will." In other words, BOTH parties must exhibit goodwill - and towards EACH OTHER.
What virtues do you bring to a relationship (i.e, kindness, or you're a good listener, or you're thoughtful)? Find people who appreciate those virtues. And realize: if someone doesn't like the virtues you have, they're not likely to want to have a closer relationship with you, no matter your virtues. Some people don't care that you're kind or thoughtful. Maybe they want someone who is fearless, would jump on a moving train, climb mountains.
Find those who appreciate you and don't force friendships where people mock you or demonstrate disdain (sarcastic comments, or they sneer at you or put you down in subtle but constant ways. "Oh geez, you're back already?" is not the mark of someone who appreciates you).
You seem to want friendships so bad, you put up with things you should not put up with. If someone can't be nice to you 99% of the time, look at them closely. REAL friends LIKE you, they don't mock you, or get annoyed with you just because you're socially awkward. They'd be understanding and say, "hey man, you don't have to try so hard. I like you as you are." FIND THOSE PEOPLE and stay away from the others.
 
i just don't know how to act around people I'm so socially awkward. Any way to overcome this

Practice. Learn to pick the right people for you and then you will gradually have far fewer problems with new people you don´t know yet.
 
Does your friend know your gay and you kinda like looking at him when he's shirtless? Does he say anything or just ignore you see how it goes maybe he couls have feelings fie you too (just saying) unless he's str8 and got a girlfriend.
 
He is not 100% straight he is bi-curious he has admitted being with guys. "I'm a giver I don't receive" his words. He meets a guy on an app just to hang out and get free beer. But his gay engaged friend sends him nudes. And is like wtf! And showes them to me. He knows I'm bi I'm very open about it. That same guy was flirting with me. But stopped because he is "engaged" I'm use to it I'm never anyones choice. He had a guy over to hang out. Only because he wanted free beer. Me and the guy hit it off. But he is only interested in my friend.
 
One of the struggles with these threads is that we can't see you objectively in the way that other people see you. So, it's difficult to know whether the way that you're seeing the situation is being overshadowed by your self-esteem issues (" I'm never anyones choice").

Which brings us to a common theme in the threads- friends that don't really come across as good friends. A good friend would be willing to give you feedback and help you get perspective on things that you might need to change (if any). But it seems like a lot of the friends that you mention are just looking to use people for beer and sex. That's fine for people to hang out with but it's not really a friend.
 
So, 3 things

1)First and foremost, I'd suggest investigating about Mindfulness. You can try the mindfulness workbook for anxiety or try reading The Power of Now

2) Maybe you would want to check out with a psychiatrist if you're a good candidate for a med like Wellbutrin which is an antidepressant with few to none grave side effects.

3) Try setting goals and accomplishing them. If you already set goals and accomplish them, learn to value yourself.

Also, you're the sum of the 5 people you spent most of your time with. Are you choosing those people wisely?
 
Back
Top