Solitary

[boy0boy]

I've come to a realization about my character and self that I felt like sharing.

Actually happened about two years ago. I am completely self sufficient and content. I could go my entire life without a significant other and I would be just as happy. I enjoy life as much as I allow myself and to spend it with my own company would be just as rewarding.

I believe there is someone for everybody and I don't mean this to be a declaration of giving up the search for them. But instead a decree that if never found, I'll be just fine.

I understand all aspects of myself and and self containing. Independent comes to mind. Don't get me wrong, I relish the company of others and possibly it's my ability to cherish friendships and acquaintances so much that leaves me content and not feel void for lack of intimacy.


"I am not afraid to keep on living,
I am not afraid to walk this world alone."

Famous Last Words- My Chemical Romance

 

[G-Lexington]

It's been my observation that the people who attract the most attention are those that are most comfortable with themselves, who enjoy their own company the most. These people tend to be happier and more confident. And why shouldn't you enjoy your own company? You're stuck hanging out with you for the next seventy-odd years - may as well learn to like the guy, right?

>>>I believe there is someone for everybody...

I've never liked this phrase. Never liked the word "soulmate" either. The implication is that there is one AND ONLY ONE person whom one is somehow destined to be with, and if you never find that one person, well, you're destined to be unhappy. Bullshit. There are MANY people with whom one can build a great, strong, lifelong relationship. Yes, some are better than others. But it's not like there's one "right" answer.

Lex

 

[JayHew]

I wholeheartedly agree with Lex. Also to be content in the manner you describe is great. I have found those who feel as you are most sought after and have a large circle of friends.

I have felt the same as you and it is still the same today albeit I have a significant other in my life and it has added to the overall feeling of content. Though it has been felt if I found someone or not all would be well, still having someone with me is really a good feel. And as Lex said, there doesn't have to be someone specific or meant for you, it can be established with just about any person to whom you feel connected.

Enjoy yourself.

 

[Rand]

I am completely self sufficient and content. I could go my entire life without a significant other and I would be just as happy.

Don't get me wrong, I relish the company of others and possibly it's my ability to cherish friendships and acquaintances so much that leaves me content and not feel void for lack of intimacy.

I too am glad that you are comfortable with yourself and are not reliant upon others. I do hope, however, that you continue to interact and "relish the company of others".

I find that friends challenge me to be a better person and strive harder to live to my potential. That is a great feeling. New people can open you to new experiences and ideas, attitudes and cultures. It is really great when the whole - relationship - is greater than the sum of the parts. And as said, there are many that could probably create that synergy with you.

Hope you find those people.
Celebrate your life!
Rand

 

[interesting]

I too experience this feeling, I somehow feel that I came into this world by myself, and if I decide to leave by myself, there's nothing wrong with that. My shyness aside, I'd like to make more friends (though gay ones would help). But if I ever end up alone, I think I would be perfectly fine too

 

[boy0boy]

Yeah definately the whole concept of there's someone out there for everyone, for me, doesn't mean one person and also doesn't mean a "significant other" either.

more broadly- there are all kinds of people out there that will compliment me or be my perfect contrast.

yeah i love meeting new people and although i am kind reserved i've never been the kind to not do what i want to do.... i dont let social stigmas hold me back if i feel like laughing in a crowded room because of being nervous or anything. but i also don't like being obnoxiously attention seeking either.... i'm very balanced, people always told me that and still do, i'm very laidback and passionate at the same time.

 

[AngelFromAbove]

Boy0Boy, I feel similarly to you. I am pretty sure that I will end up alone. It's not something that is dejecting. It is, however, a reality that I know has a high chance of happening.

I do feel that there is someone for everyone; however, that does not mean you will meet the person. Even if the person and you do cross paths, other factors may keep the two of you apart.

 

[boy0boy]

well this reminds me of or more correctly james reminded me of a scene from "Can't Hardly Wait," (one of my all time favorite movies) where Lisa Kudrow interupts Ethan Embry just as he's on the line with Barry Manilow about the song "mandy"

well short version i'll just quote the line "and i realized that fate only takes you so far, and then it's up to you to make it happen"

so yeah about the whole "someone out there for everyone" i agree with james, even if you find each other it doesn't always work out or you might not even meet.

 

[DarkHelios]

The bottom line is...I have nights when I am fine with being single...then there are nights when it downright depresses me. It sucks...

You know what I just realized...this is a common problem among lots of us gay men.

What are we gonna do???

I really don't think that it's a problem specific to any gender or sexuality. It's not an uncommon feeling for people in general.

For the record, I'm single. I'd like to be in a romantic relationship, but I'm not going to lose any sleep if it doesn't happen.

 

[VICTORIADON]

I've come to a realization about my character and self that I felt like sharing.

Actually happened about two years ago. I am completely self sufficient and content. I could go my entire life without a significant other and I would be just as happy. I enjoy life as much as I allow myself and to spend it with my own company would be just as rewarding.

I believe there is someone for everybody and I don't mean this to be a declaration of giving up the search for them. But instead a decree that if never found, I'll be just fine.

I understand all aspects of myself and and self containing. Independent comes to mind. Don't get me wrong, I relish the company of others and possibly it's my ability to cherish friendships and acquaintances so much that leaves me content and not feel void for lack of intimacy.


"I am not afraid to keep on living,
I am not afraid to walk this world alone."

Famous Last Words- My Chemical Romance

Well boyoboy:

You have done it.

It is rare that someone takes the words out of my mouth.

And I agree.

SOME OF US ARE AT PEACE WITH OURSELVES.

Many people do not understand.

that is ok

because

We are at peace, and love ourselves.

 

[boy0boy]

Reminds me of another comparison. In Ann Rice's Vampire Chronicles- one aspect of being an undead was learning to survive eternally. Many vampires couldn't do it because it was too much pressure to view the world and its constant change, therefor only a few vampires actually made it to be "ancients" those whose character could endure the test of time

i like to think this is me in a less scifi way!

hehe sorry to get all "loser book reader" on ya!

 

[Shepherd 2]

Contentment begins with being at home
with yourself. Learning to respect yourself and your
personal gifts, laughing at yourself whenever the occasion
arises, and taking criticism well from others.
Shep+

 

[tylertylertx]

hehe sorry to get all "loser book reader" on ya!

haha


One of the things some of my straight friends can't understand about me is that I can be very content being unattached, and not always having a significant other like they need to. Well, "never having" one would be more accurate/honest. Yup, I have never had a boyfriend, or a girlfriend for that matter. Because of that, I think I have become ok with the solitude. Sometimes life can get lonely from that aspect, but I don't live in a dark place because of it. I think that one day I might have a companion, but I agree with your outlook on life. Well said.

 

[boy0boy]

Well I was talking to my friend the other day and she was all, "in more ways than not, its really good being single, you dont have to worry about when you can go out or if you can go out and all of that nonsense"

made me smile hehe

 

[tylertylertx]

haha, true...plus it's cheaper! well, sometimes anyway...because i can occasionally be expensive for myself [:

 

[boy0boy]

Bitch - Meredith Brooks

"So take me as I am
this may mean you'll have to be a stonger man
rest assured that when I start to make you nervous
and I'm going to extremes
tomorrow I will change
and today wont mean a thing
..........................
Just when you think
you've got me figured out
the seasons already changin'
I think its cool
you do what you do
and don't try to change me
-
I'm a bitch
I'm a tease
I'm a goddess on my knees
When your hurt and you suffer
I'm an angel undercover
I've been up
I'm revived
Can't say I'm not alive
You know I wouldn't want it any other way."