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  • The Support & Advice forum is a no-flame zone.
    The members offering support and advice do so with the best intention. If you ask for advice, we don't require you to take the advice, but we do ask that you listen and give it consideration.

Some advice for a new guy please...

3nipples

3nipples

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He obviously needs somebody to talk to and may be embarrassed now that he opened up to you.

I assume you have his contact information. You could call him and let him know that he can still come in for that massage and offer to meet with him if he needs to unload with a sympathetic ear.

I wouldn't try to overanalyze the situation if I I were you, just be a friend and go with the flow.
 
As those above have said as well I don't think there would be anything wrong with you contacting him and offering him a shoulder and a massage. He needs someone right now and you could become a friend for him and let things develop from there. I don't think you are crazy, you are doing this for the best of intentions and I admire you for that. Good on you mate (*8*)
 
Well, if you know his info, I think you can call him up and tell himt hat you just wanted to check on him and make sure he's feeling better. Invite him out for coffee or something just to see if he wants to talk to someone. He shouldn't be too worried, since he's already opened up to you.

Just say that you wanted to see if he was alright and that you care about him and want to be friends. And if it leads anywhere special, then even better. If not, you've made a friend and you're helping him deal with his emotions.
 
all the advice is excellent - follow it - the guy is hurting and needs a friend
 
Mikebguy,

CALL HIM !!!!

I don't mean to sound flippant about the situation, buddy. I just wanted to convey that this is a guy that clearly needs you in his life as a friend (and if more develops that is for time and nature to determine). If I were him I would be so touched that you cared enough to follow up to see how I was doing. Explain that you don't usually make these phone calls (so that you don't sound like you're trying to drum him back in as business) but that you were left concerned after he left. PLUS, you're thinking about this guy a lot -- and the reason I encourage you to call him is so that you can avoid the feeling of "what if" that will plague you if you don't call.

He lost his boyfriend only 5 months ago, and you already know dating for him may be a little too presumptuous now. But he clearly needs somoene in his life and I feel you guys were brought together for a reason and more than just a free massage. I believe that connection you made with him that day needs to be followed up on. And of course, offering to reschedule the free massage is an excellent way to get him to come back. You'll then be sure to see again if the chemistry is there.

Don't mean to :-({|= on you ... I just don't want to see you endure the pain of "what if", and I know that pain sadly.

I'm going to subscribe to this thread ... I really want to know what happens.

(*8*)
 
I also don't see anything wrong with calling him.

But maybe one word of caution. He is still grieving the loss of his bf and may not be emotionally available for you on that level. I would approach it as a friendship first and then see what happens. Good Luck!
 
My experience with message therapists, is that what they do is a part of "the healing arts." This guy is in pain, and in need of some healing friendship.

I'd be professional about it, and then offer an ear or a shoulder and see what happens.

Remember though, like others have stated, he's vulnerable right now. So please keep that in mind.

I for one would be interested in hearing his response for your offer to complete his massage. The fact that he even showed up to collect the gift that he won or was given for a massage, shows that he's trying to "get back out there."

Be gentle, healing and kind. :D
 
Sorry to hear baout the first call, but give him a second try or give him some time and if it doesn't work out, you did all you could. ::pat pat::
 
I imagine you feel disappointed after that call.

Give him a few days. He may start thinking about what you said and come around yet.
 
HELL no.

Dude, you work there.. he's in a place of vulnerability and this is the LAST thing he needs.

If he wants to be in contact, he'll contact you.

It would be SO inappropriate to call him
 
Mikebguy,

So sorry to hear that the call did not go as you (and we) had hoped. Perhaps it was a bad time to catch him. The ball is in his court and if he wants to call you back he will. I am going against the grain of everyone's advice and suggesting that you do not call back - as I am not sure if that would then peg you as a stalker, do you know what I am saying? But I hope all works out to your satisfaction!

(*8*)
 
I would take it at face value that he was on the other line and couldn't talk.

I would call him back, but just to remind him that the massage was still his to book whenever he wanted and that he could ask for you by name or if he would prefer someone else that you could recommend he ask for <somebody else>... and leave it at that.
 
(!)mikebguy(!)​

YAY for you! I am sure you are happy he called back ... I hope you have a really good meeting with this guy ... and don't forget to keep us posted. You sound like a smart guy and I trust you're going about it the right way.

(*8*)
 
What a great outcome. It sounds like you guys really connected and that you are thinking with your head. Good luck!
 
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