Some well needed advice...

[HexualCirce]

I've been thinking of putting up this thread for a while now but could never really put anything into the right words. Perhaps I still can't but here goes. I'm a chub and have never been in a healthy relationship of any form. The three men that I have been closest to are now all married. To women. So you can just imagine. After those fiascos I sort of swore off men for a good while and now that I'm ready to date again I have no where to meet guys that are interested in guys like me. I did find one website, though it's been very hard to try talk to the chasers there. The way that I met the three previous were through friends. It all just seems too difficult. Almost like I'm too big for the regular guy and too small for the regular chaser. Can any one out there give any advice? Thanks in advance for any help.

 

[SantaCBear]

When looking for a relationship (not a quickie) there is no substitute for living in the real world -- get out and get in the mix. You'll find that many people will find you interesting.

 

[HexualCirce]

Oh, I've been out in the real world. Believe me. But this lil small town I live in aint much. Though (for the time being) it is home. That's pretty much the only reason I signed on to the site. But I am very active in my community and always doing something.

 

[SilverRRCloud]

You have clearly recognized your problem. Your town is a home, albeit a bit on a small side.

Which leads us to 2 possible solutions:

1) You move out to a major metro town and chase your bear dude down;

2) You accept the fact that you will have to live under the conditions of a very limited choice for the time being and act accordingly.

Just my 2 cents...

SC

 

[Eagle653]

How close is the next largest town from yours? Usually, towns of moderate size have a variety of bars that cater to certain groups. You could find (pretty easily on the Internet) the nearest town that has the kind of bar for chubs and plan to spend a weekend there and scout it out. If it turns you off, pick another. Don't pick something so far away that it makes starting a budding relationship impractical.

The only other way is to start plotting your near-term future such that you can get out the confines of your current town, if you don't feel that it offers what you need. I know that's easier said than done, and there may be realities that keep you where you are (family? one-of-a-kind job?). But, to the extent that you can get out and explore increases your chances of meeting Mr. Right.

 

[Shepherd 2]

You have clearly recognized your problem. Your town is a home, albeit a bit on a small side.

Which leads us to 2 possible solutions:

1) You move out to a major metro town and chase your bear dude down;

2) You accept the fact that you will have to live under the conditions of a very limited choice for the time being and act accordingly.

Just my 2 cents...

SC

This is sensible advice. I agree.
Shep+

 

[HexualCirce]

It looks like it will be number 2 since I'm kind of stuck here for the time being. But thank you all for your replies.