Someone asking me to lunch?

[Reivax]

So...I'm slowly letting myself out after accepting who I am and just started to try and involve myself with a community.

Been living in San Francisco for a few months and am currently in Washington near Seattle visiting with my mom and her fiancee.

After a while here I decided to join the Growlr app to look whos nearby and from curiosity. Someone messaged me from Seattle and we started talking a bit. Now he's asking to have lunch cause he's off Thursday.

I've never done anything like this and it makes me so nervous just thinking about it. I'm insecure and hopeful. I'm mostly thinking about what someone would expect from someone else. I currently don't have a job and haven't really had a real one. Although I am a student.

Not sure what I should do. Am I thinking too much about this?

 

[altlover85]

Not sure what I should do. Am I thinking too much about this?

I think you are thinking about the wrong things.

I would make sure you meet in a public place, let someone know where you are going, and if you feel uncomfortable, leave. If it's just lunch, I wouldn't worry too much.

If you're going to hookup, make sure you are being safe as far as condoms go.

Now, as far as you not having a job, you're a student, so I don't think it's the end of the world. As long as you have some long term plans and aren't asking them to take care of you, I don't think most guys will care.

 

[Seasoned]

^I think you have gotten a perfect answer. Welcome to JUB and stay safe. Let us know how it goes.

 

[Reivax]

Thanks for the responses! I've been browsing JUB for a while, just haven't really had anything to say.

I think it maybe just social anxiety. I'm worried cause I never really know what to say in a conversation. If there's a group of people talking I'd be the one to stay silent. I guess I'm asking how does someone with a social anxiety have a conversation without being awkward?

 

[HunterM]

Prepare a list of open ended topics that you can talk about. To learn more about the other person, you have to ask questions about him. Here are some examples:

• What are your hobbies? Do you ski or snowboard in the winter?
• Did you grow up here or somewhere else? Do you like living here?
• Where did you go on your last vacation? What did you do there?
• Where would you like to go on your next vacation?
• What do you do for a living? Do you have time to enjoy your hobbies outside of work?
• When going out to eat, what type of food would you prefer?
• What are some good bars or restaurants in town?
• What kind of music do you listen to? Have you been to any concert this year? Who do you like to see in concert next?
• What are your all time top 3 movies? Why?
• Some people like to play hard on the weekend while others like to chill. What would you consider a prefect weekend?
• Do you follow national/college sports? If yes, do you go to the game or watch it on TV?

Do not bring up politics and religions.

 

[Reivax]

Great! Thanks so much for the list.

 

[ben9651]

Great! Thanks so much for the list.

uhh forget the list !!!
just be YOURSELF !
if the chemistry is there , it`ll work out on its own.
If you find yourself nervous .. just have a drink or sth. it`ll loosin u up
GOODLUCK!

 

[mbamike]

Yes, you are over thinking this. It is just lunch. Be yourself and relax.

If you are into this guy at all and vice versa, everything will work out. If not, then it was not meant to be. The more you date the more you will become comfortable doing it.

 

[Rolyo85]

Also, he may just be friendly. Don't go all expectant and hopeful, let it unfold on its own.

 

[Seasoned]

Smiling and eye contact are important as is body language. Read up on active listening if you don't know the techniques. General questions about interests, books, movies, video games, etc. might be conversation starters.