Someone Makes a Move on the Boyfriend- What to Do?

[theblackajah]

So, my boyfriend went over to the US to visit an online friend he's known for a few years. It was all supposed to be fun and dandy, just a friendly vacation/visit (albeit I've been teasing my boyfriend that I suspect "things" beyond just being friendly would happen, to his dismay).

Anyways, so, I know my boyfriend is faithful, and wouldn't do anything sexual with this gay friend of his. But apparently, what happened last night is, as my boyfriend was sleeping and his friend sleeping over in the hotel room (on the couch), the friend crept up on my b/f and began jacking him off... My b/f, asleep, didn't know until he woke up later on, extremely confused as to what was going on, and suddenly realized what was happening and pulled out his friend's hand.

So, my boyfriend was really freaked out about this, called me, and I tried to console him. At first I didn't realize the gravity of the situation, but as I thought about it more, I just got more and more pissed. Someone literally molested my boyfriend, now that I think about it.

Now I'm extremely pissed, and starting to consider flying down there and teaching his friend a thing or two about the consequences of his actions. Honestly, I seriously feel like hunting him down and just beating the shit out of that little whore.

My boyfriend, however, is just extremely distressed now, as he just wants to enjoy the rest of his vacation, saying that the friend apologized to him about the incident. My b/f doesn't want this to go any further, and just wants to put the event behind him.

So, what am I to do? Am I supposed to not do a thing so my boyfriend can just put this behind him? I mean, this is a seriously nasty affront to my pride as a boyfriend- someone else virtually raped him.

What would you do? Any advice?

 

[chrisdobro]

well you are in a tough situation ... you can't really do much. That's why you're distressed. Watch this though -- your bf will probably get over the situation in a day or two (or so), and you will still be distressed. Not a good situation. I'd avoid it and stop it now while it hasn't gotten away from you.

Overall, I suggest you follow your bf's suit. I'm sure he can take care of himself and he will. If he calms down and lets the incident go, so should you. Because he is there and he's in control, and you are not. Trying to take control of the situation when you don't have it is fruitless and will cause and create pain and friction as you're experiencing now.

Thus wait a day or two to see what your bf says. I don't think that going over to US will solve much at this point other than to create more drama. If you're not sure, ask your bf if you should come. My guess and my hope that it will be a 'no'.

If it is a concern that the situation may repeat, your bf can find another place to stay. That'll probably be easier on both of you overall rather than you coming over there.

 

[luminum]

At least you can rest assured that your boyfriend can defend himself and your relationship. If your bf feels really uncomfortable, then he has every right to cut the vacation short. What his friend did was not only wrong because he knows the two of you are in a relationship, but also because it's basically molestation/sexual assault.

That friend of his needs to have a severe talking to.

 

[inlovewithanton]

In my neighborhood back home....that was grounds for an ass whoopin....

Edit: Come to think of it, staring was grounds for an ass whoopin in my old neighborhood, so dont listen to me. lol.

 

[number2]

just let it go- i am sure the friend thought it was ok, but now knows that your BF is not available. Def. dont spend that much money to fly over and bitch him out for trying to whack him on when he didnt even succeed at that!
when the BF gets back give him a "HELL NO!" and bitch slap him!

 

[G-Lexington]

Your boyfriend has shown (a) he can take care of himself, and (b) he's trustworthy enough that when something like this happened, he told you. He could've just not said anything, after all. I for one wouldn't be able to "enjoy" my vacation - especially the sleeping parts - knowing I might wake up with some guy jerking me off when I didn't want him to. I'd have some major trust issues there. But your boyfriend sounds like a level-headed, mature type, so let him handle this. Once he gets back, he can cut ties with this guy if he so desires.

Lex

 

[trawler69]

I'm with Lex on this. Your B/F has just affirmed your relationship by telling you about what happened, He didn't have to. His friend has apologised so it is not worth getting upset over, physically assaulting the guy who knows he did wrong is not going to help the situation at all. Sure technically it is sexual assault but as long as your B/F isn't traumatised by it, it probably isn't worth getting all aereated over. Just let him know you trust him, make the offer to go over if he needs you if you feel strongly. I am sure he will decline and is well capable of looking after himself.

 

[number2]

Lex is right- you have a very good boyfriend to have stood his ground... perhaps you can use this to your advantage to strengthen your relationship!!?!

 

[unclaimedblessing]

Let your partner know how proud you are of him, and let him know that if you're ever in a similar situation you will react as he did.
Fidelity is worthy of respect (especially since temptation can pop up at any time).

 

[Eagle653]

I'm with the above. Don't over-react to this. I know your bf is freaked, but hopefully he'll be able to put it all in perspective once he has some distance from it. In the meantime, did it occur to anyone to get separate rooms? Perhaps that's the way to enjoy the rest of his vacation with peace for all.

I do admire your bf though on several levels. First, he put a stop to it. Second, you were the first person he leaned on when he was freaking out. That speaks volumes about his respect for you and the solidness of your relationship.

Because of those two things, he has nothing to worry about, and I'm sure the "gay friend" got the no-no message loud and clear. Let it all go and take pride in your bf's love.

 

[theblackajah]

Thanks for the responses guys. I've decided to take your advice. When my b/f gets back, he's cutting off this friend for good.

And yes, after the incident, the friend was asked to sleep at his OWN place from then onwards.

I'm just trying to make sure my b/f is okay now, and when he gets back, I'm gonna treat him to his favorite restaurant (And give him a handjob he wants )

 

[RicanDAB]

Latecomer to the thread, but I admire your BF for being honest with you about this ... it speaks volumes to the devotion he has for you. I don't think he will have a problem putting this behind him ... don't worry too much about it. This looks like it will be history once he returns. I understand how you feel and the best thing to do is let any feelings of retaliation go.

I am a bit surprised he didn't choose to high-tail it back home after the incident. If I was just as freaked I would havd gotten out of there ASAP.

 

[confusedboy23]

Kudos to your boyfriend!

 

[Just_Believe18]

^ Sounds like things worked out. I'm glad your boyfriend took charge and kicked out his friend to his own room.

This situation did not surprise me at all. Most gay guys have very little respect towards relationships. Your boyfriend in a foreign country with a "friend" without you. This vacation was asking for trouble.

 

[ZoGood]

I kinda skimmed through the responses previous to mine,

but IMO (and maybe cuz I'm a jealous type of bitch) I'd expect your BF to not be friends with that guy anymore

and I would be wondering why your BF is still hanging out with that gay and being all chummy about it...

I mean, if its cuz he needs a place to stay while he's visiting that area then I can understand,

but afterwards, I don't see how your BF could choose to still be friends with that guy