Someone please explain children out of wedlock and single parent homes...

[SLOPPYSECONDS]

Of course not all children born out of wedlock are bad. I didn't say that.

But imagine the frustration calling home and speaking with one parent, usually a mother. And imagine calling home from a high school aged male. They generally don't listen to their mothers as much as their fathers, who are usually MIA.

ya sellin not talkin or thinkin or anythin

any folk planet figure it

so got be da ( think it what folk like do when wars etc give oppurtutinys some humans bit of free JAAAAAAAAAAAAAA )

but folk like their teeth ans finger nails nows days< past 500 years it why they sayin ooh no ya dont

 

[vulgar_newcomer]

You took a very complex issue and though you have some valid points reduced it to a bunch of tripe.
There are plenty of dirt poor & well off married people who have no business having kids as well.

 

[demedja]

Of course not all children born out of wedlock are bad. I didn't say that.

But imagine the frustration calling home and speaking with one parent, usually a mother. And imagine calling home from a high school aged male. They generally don't listen to their mothers as much as their fathers, who are usually MIA.

I think you're generalizing too much. It may be true that some kids do better in the traditional 2 parent family setup, but there are many others that do just as well in a single parent home. My parents weren't married for long. In fact, though like most married couples they started out all lovey-dovey, things got to the point where they just couldn't stand each other. Then the arguments and the fighting started---which happens a lot in many marriages, and that shit definitely has an effect on the kids. After they separated they became better people and even good friends. We went to live with our mother, but even though our dad no longer lived in the same house he was still around a lot. And we turned out ok.

I'm a single guy who's been thinking about adopting a kid, and I think I could do a good job as a dad. All depends on the relationship you as the parent have with your kid. You have to teach them values, manners, and respect, and you have to give them room to grow and to express what you teach them in their own way, as a part of their individuality. Most important, you have to make them know that you love them. They may act like they're too big to care about that but that validation is extremely important to them. Thats how my parents did it. Kids are not wild animals. If you put your foot down and reason with them about things in a respectful way, most of the time they will listen to you. You just have to be consistent.

A lot of what is happening with kids out there now isn't just because they're from single parent homes. Its because the parent aren't as active in their kids' lives as they should be and because they're relying on TV and school teachers to do the parent's job. Even more depends on the type of friends that parents allow their kids to associate with. If you hang out with trash then you will eventually become trashy yourself. If I ever acted out and was rude to a teacher, my dad would have kicked my ass...well, maybe not literally, but he would take me aside and have a stern talk with me to let me know that that behavior was inappropriate and unacceptable. Then he would make me apologize to the teacher.

Kids want that kind of discipline. Most of them just don't know it. They can learn that direction just as well from one parent as they can from two.

 

[RobinGoodfellow]

All that matters on some level. I remember my brother telling me that in med school like 70% of the students were the first born and not one was the last born. I'd guess maybe this was so because the first born is given the most attention?

Actually it's because the first born tend to be more aggressive, a trait that comes in handy as a doctor, especially given the 7+ years it takes to become one.

They really should have asked how many were born out of wedlock. Right now as it stands, it's zero percent for presidents born out of wedlock.

Duh. Being a bastard pretty much nixed any chance of success back then. Major PR nightmare. So...are you a right winger or what...?

RG

 

[RobinGoodfellow]

Of course not all children born out of wedlock are bad. I didn't say that.

Not directly, at any rate.

RG

 

[blackbeltninja]

Any study claiming that people brought up in two-parent households achieve the same success regardless of race, socioeconomic status, etc. is questionable at best, utter bullshit at worst.

Um... yeah, you can't just dismiss that and claim to be right. When it comes to published evidence vs your evidence, "because I say so" isn't really good enough, I'm afraid. If you have genuine published evidence to offer, then do so. Otherwise... not entirely sure you have much of a leg to stand on.

As for the OP - he's not saying all kids from single-parent or broken homes are done for. He's saying there is a big correlation between problem kids and their home circumstances. I'm from a broken home where everything turned out ok for the kids. One of my oldest mates is from a broken home where it was pretty much a colossal fuck-up for all concerned. He got out ok; his three siblings are basket cases. Another old mate of mine is in a similar situation, except his younger sister is the one who did ok while the other three, him included, are walking ads for birth control. I also know kids from very stable homes who are write-offs. No guarantees, either way.

Lostlover, can you post a link to that study?

-d-

 

[SLOPPYSECONDS]

I think you're generalizing too much. It may be true that some kids do better in the traditional 2 parent family setup, but there are many others that do just as well in a single parent home. My parents weren't married for long. In fact, though like most married couples they started out all lovey-dovey, things got to the point where they just couldn't stand each other. Then the arguments and the fighting started---which happens a lot in many marriages, and that shit definitely has an effect on the kids. After they separated they became better people and even good friends. We went to live with our mother, but even though our dad no longer lived in the same house he was still around a lot. And we turned out ok.

I'm a single guy who's been thinking about adopting a kid, and I think I could do a good job as a dad. All depends on the relationship you as the parent have with your kid. You have to teach them values, manners, and respect, and you have to give them room to grow and to express what you teach them in their own way, as a part of their individuality. Most important, you have to make them know that you love them. They may act like they're too big to care about that but that validation is extremely important to them. Thats how my parents did it. Kids are not wild animals. If you put your foot down and reason with them about things in a respectful way, most of the time they will listen to you. You just have to be consistent.

A lot of what is happening with kids out there now isn't just because they're from single parent homes. Its because the parent aren't as active in their kids' lives as they should be and because they're relying on TV and school teachers to do the parent's job. Even more depends on the type of friends that parents allow their kids to associate with. If you hang out with trash then you will eventually become trashy yourself. If I ever acted out and was rude to a teacher, my dad would have kicked my ass...well, maybe not literally, but he would take me aside and have a stern talk with me to let me know that that behavior was inappropriate and unacceptable. Then he would make me apologize to the teacher.

Kids want that kind of discipline. Most of them just don't know it. They can learn that direction just as well from one parent as they can from two.

ya gettin suck in by red herrins

no dump on parents < what mays a be children adults till day they die anyway

ya get caught ins da spin

ans whole countrys no suffer da ills of ways by oen label

beware da ways of MAN ans allllll words tie ta traps ans wires waitin ta their enjoyment ta EXPLODE

-
ya fallin fa his trap or inta it

yeah dat betta

 

[RobinGoodfellow]

A lot of what is happening with kids out there now isn't just because they're from single parent homes. Its because the parent aren't as active in their kids' lives as they should be and because they're relying on TV and school teachers to do the parent's job. Even more depends on the type of friends that parents allow their kids to associate with. If you hang out with trash then you will eventually become trashy yourself. If I ever acted out and was rude to a teacher, my dad would have kicked my ass...well, maybe not literally, but he would take me aside and have a stern talk with me to let me know that that behavior was inappropriate and unacceptable. Then he would make me apologize to the teacher.

And this, ironically, amuses me even more.

This may have been true in the 1950's, but at no other point in our history. Prior to that, once a kid was old enough to run, you probably never saw either of his parents beyond breakfast and dinner. Parents had no real control over their kids until they hit puberty, and even then it was just to teach them a trade, even if it was just farming. And as for friends, well, fighting, drinking, and getting laid were more expected back then.

Luckily, some things do change...

RG

 

[Esquire0399]

Um... yeah, you can't just dismiss that and claim to be right. When it comes to published evidence vs your evidence, "because I say so" isn't really good enough, I'm afraid. If you have genuine published evidence to offer, then do so. Otherwise... not entirely sure you have much of a leg to stand on.

As for the OP - he's not saying all kids from single-parent or broken homes are done for. He's saying there is a big correlation between problem kids and their home circumstances. I'm from a broken home where everything turned out ok for the kids. One of my oldest mates is from a broken home where it was pretty much a colossal fuck-up for all concerned. He got out ok; his three siblings are basket cases. Another old mate of mine is in a similar situation, except his younger sister is the one who did ok while the other three, him included, are walking ads for birth control. I also know kids from very stable homes who are write-offs. No guarantees, either way.

Lostlover, can you post a link to that study?

-d-

Yeah okay. So you've never been black before have you? You've never experienced what I have being followed around in stores, or my father growing up, or my friends, or my sister's boyfriend (who was tackled to the ground and tased because he sort of resembled that other black guy that committed that crime that took place somewhere that he could not have been), have you?

Not to make this about race but since it's already come up I might as well say this and then leave it alone. There have been studies done that conclude that a black man with no criminal record has the same chance of being hired for a job as a white man with a felony charge. Same chance at success? I doubt it. At least in America.

http://www.jobbankusa.com/News/Hiring/hiring100803a.html

http://ac360.blogs.cnn.com/2008/08/09/study-black-man-and-white-felon-same-chances-for-hire/

 

[SLOPPYSECONDS]

smoke ans mirrors neva gonna dis aguise cultures pyramids goin fa centurys

or folk manipulate current events < set ins a motions a runnin-long time ago- alls a wrap up in lot fancy bullshit ta come out like educate WONDER ans AMAZE

cultures just gonna has get real job ans stop sellin snake oil fa their paper

 

[Musik2400]

Not exactly a president but:

Alexander Hamilton was the first United States Secretary of the Treasury, a Founding Father, economist, and political philosopher.

Aide-de-camp to General George Washington during the American Revolutionary War, he was a leader of American nationalists calling for a new Constitution; he was one of America's first constitutional lawyers, and wrote most of the Federalist Papers, a primary source for Constitutional interpretation. Hamilton was the primary author of the economic policies of the George Washington

Born out of wedlock. Done pretty well for himself too it seems.

Steve Jobs (you may or may not recognize that name...) was also born out of wedlock in Silicon Valley in the 1950's. Though later adopted, the couple was lower middle class, and his adopted father did not even graduate from high school (so much for the points about University degrees)

It depends on the parents, not a little peice of papper that says the parents are bound in holy matrimony.

As for teenagers not listening to mothers as much as fathers, that's more the fault of the law. Spanking kids is extremely effective in disciplining them, and teaching them to respect and obey their parents. (this follows into teen years, and is a quick learned lesson, and is in no way the same as child abuse)

 

[Nomenclature]

I actually think that infertile couples generally make much better parents, because they actually WANT the children, have to pass background checks and can only have as many children as they can afford to raise.

Sure, there are quite a few fertile parents in the world who are great fathers and mothers, but let's face it: There are far more dumbasses who have children "by mistake".

"Oops! I accidentally met you at a bar, chatted you up and danced with you for a couple of hours, drove you home, walked upstairs with you, kissed you, took off our clothes, decided not to put on a condom, got into bed and slammed my penis in-and-out of your pussy for five minutes until I ejaculated directly into your cervix. That bitch tricked me!"


Get the fuck out of here.

 

[andy12]

We'd need voluntary sterilization programs. Have your tubes tied, here's a crisp $100. That would reduce poverty as well. And free abortions on every street corner.

But Democrats needs poor people and Republicans believe in the holy gods Embryo and Fetus (real babies, not so much) so it's all a non-starter.

 

[SwitchBoardBoi]

Win.

No other arguments necessary.

Pure. Unadulterated. Win.

 

[SonOfSlobone]

The point in sharing all of that is right here, surrounding me are several examples of people that DO NOT fit this bullshit statistic that you feel the need to throw in peoples' faces. The simple fact is, statistics do not represent the real people who fall outside of them. If this many successful people can surround me, a guy from a tiny, insignificant town that tends to produce nothing but Wal-Mart employees and drug addicts, there is no way, not a chance in hell, that kids raised outside of wedlock, or by single parents, or by parents without college degrees, are incapable of achieving big things. In fact, it's not even all that uncommon.

My sister raised two kids as a single mom -- by choice. She decided to adopt kids from another country because she wanted to be a mother, and she didn't see any husband on the horizon. She raised them up to adulthood while working a full-time job, with no partner. And these were kids with all kinds of mental and physical problems, too.

It's called love and commitment. Don't judge if you don't know the full story.

 

[BigDestiny]

But imagine the frustration calling home and speaking with one parent, usually a mother. And imagine calling home from a high school aged male. They generally don't listen to their mothers as much as their fathers, who are usually MIA.

Well, if you can't handle it, then maybe you shouldn't be teaching. The last thing a child needs is to go to school and be taught by someone who already assumes they aren't going to amount to anything.

 

[blackbeltninja]

Esquire, it must be remembered that Blackbeltninja is the single most self-righteous person on this board. That's the honest truth.

A quick perusal through his various posts will make this contention abundantly clear.

Right

So while you're pathetically admiring the view from way up there on the moral high ground, Johan, remind us again whether you're the pot or the kettle in this discussion.

I don't really want to troll him, or anything. It's not that. It's just that I think he comes from a privileged background, and cannot grok the struggles of the working class.

So readers of his posts have to take into account a certain inability on his part to empathize.

I see, you basically stereotype people based on how you perceive their social class.

Well, if you mean me, you're very much mistaken. My older sister and I were raised by our single mother; we lived on the bones of our backsides. We were that in terrible social class of incredibly poor white people in colonial Africa.

Yeah okay. So you've never been black before have you? You've never experienced what I have being followed around in stores, or my father growing up, or my friends, or my sister's boyfriend (who was tackled to the ground and tased because he sort of resembled that other black guy that committed that crime that took place somewhere that he could not have been), have you?

Not to make this about race but since it's already come up I might as well say this and then leave it alone. There have been studies done that conclude that a black man with no criminal record has the same chance of being hired for a job as a white man with a felony charge. Same chance at success? I doubt it. At least in America.

No, but as a white guy in Africa I'm kinda held in the same regard as a black guy in America. Guess that makes us and our experiences about even, huh?

-d-

 

[Esquire0399]

No, but as a white guy in Africa I'm kinda held in the same regard as a black guy in America. Guess that makes us and our experiences about even, huh?

Perhaps, except for the fact that Africa and America are two totally different places with two totally different social structures. Use your head.

Anyway, since I like having fun and relaxing while I'm on JUB, and this thread clearly isn't fun, I'm out. I'm going back to watching Prison Break and staring at Wentworth Miller's beautiful beautifulness. Peace.

 

[winterknight]

Also, please address the contradiction pointed out in post #23

 

[Telstra]

Think that maybe, just maybe you're in the wrong profession?

You're supposed to teach kids. Not criticize or judge their parents or parent.

Stick to the curriculum because it's none of your business unless these kids are getting hurt.

Sad and pathetic.

maybe.
That profession is very rewarding if you like to see smiling/laughing faces ......

And maybe he is just fed up with irresponsible parents who don't teach their kids well.