Something I'm Pondering

[sunoftheskye]

Do gay people have a higher expectation of their significant others sharing similar interests than straight people?

I often see guys complaining about not being able to find guys "like them". You like doing "guy things" and you want someone who will be the same.

It's one thing to be looking for a stereotypically masculine guy (though to be honest I'm not even really sure what that means) because that's what turns you on sexually (though that's a completely different issue to be addressed that I won't go into now), but to actually be specifically looking for someone who shares your exact interests seems to be asking for a lot.

Men and women have a pre-existing expectation that their partners will at least be somewhat different from them in a number of ways, even if just because of the gender differences. Like if you're a guy who's a scientist, it's reasonable that you'd be looking for an educated woman who maybe works in the same field because she would intellectually stimulate you. But typically he's not going to be looking for a woman who is also into Star Trek and World of Warcraft. Yet these relationships work well anyway.

So what I'm wondering is if many gay people are screwing themselves over by expecting their partners to be just like them simply because they're the same gender.

Any thoughts on this?

 

[PabloZed]

I too hear guys describing what they look for and its often a carbon copy of themselves. In one thread a guy said he wanted someone from his same "culture" whatever that means.

I can't say I look for anything in particular that would make me turn away someone. I have dated non-professionals. I dated a guy who was still in college, which was a bit of a problem. However, I probably would not date a republican, but few of them are attractive enough any way.

 

[sunoftheskye]

In my own personal opinion...

I want someone who's different from me. I want someone who has different interests; someone who can teach me things that I don't know already. If I met someone who was into technology, photomanipulation and marijuana (to name but a few of my interests), sure we'd have stuff to talk about for the first little bit, but it would be an intellectually sterile relationship; I'd get bored too easily. I want someone who can mentally stimulate me.

Same for me. I'm a huge literature and arts person, and I recently dated a science teacher. At first I was a little wary but I found our conversations to be great because he taught me so much I didn't know.

Of course, the relationship went sour because he randomly started avoiding me, but hey.

 

[Phoenix3]

I need someone like me. I've dated those who are slightly different.. totally different.. and it just doesn't work. I like Shiny Toy Guns.. they like Kelly Clarkson... Just doesn't work.

I like artsy films.. they like Anchorman.

 

[kevbo]

Actually, I'm looking for a die hard Republican, since I am a die hard Democrat.

Oh, imagine the make up sex...

 

[sunoftheskye]

I need someone like me. I've dated those who are slightly different.. totally different.. and it just doesn't work. I think Shiny Toy Guns.. they like Kelly Clarkson... Just doesn't work.

I like artsy films.. they like Anchorman.

Good luck with that.

 

[Phoenix3]

I'm glad to see that romance is alive and well.

Sadly there's a lot of people like that. lol