Something that's been bothering me...

[b0i70y]

This probably isn't the right forum for this, but I wasn't exactly sure where to put it...

But the point is, I've identified myself as bisexual since I was about... I dunno, ten or eleven.

I've had sexual feelings about both men and women. The problem is, whenever I masturbate to straight porn or have sex with a woman, I don't quite, "orgasm," and afterwards I feel... I dunno, wrong, I guess? And tense.

I mean, I ejaculate, but I don't really... orgasm... I guess...

When I jerk of to gay porn or fool around with a guy (never had complete sex yet) I do have an orgasm, and a powerful one at that. It usually lasts for a good ten to twenty seconds and afterwards I'm relaxed and have a smile on my face.

Also, although most of my relationships have been with women, I never really feel romantic.... It's usually all about sex, and there's never a contentment or that fluttery feeling I get when I talk to a cute guy.

I'm just... confused. Wanting to hear everyone's thoughts on my situation.

Thanks.

 

[djunkie]

Sounds like you gotta get out with some more guys! See if you can meet a cute guy and possibly start a relationship or just start something and see where it goes. You have the right and you should exercise that right by exploring! by the description of the orgasms you definitely like when you are with a guy. I say go for it! You have nothing to lose!

Hope you find your way!

 

[Robbert]

U don't know it mentally but your obviously more attracted to men

 

[b0i70y]

Sounds like you gotta get out with some more guys! See if you can meet a cute guy and possibly start a relationship or just start something and see where it goes. You have the right and you should exercise that right by exploring! by the description of the orgasms you definitely like when you are with a guy. I say go for it! You have nothing to lose!

Hope you find your way!

I would love to find a boyfriend. Some of my happiest memories are with my ex-boyfriends. None seem interested, though - and to be honest, I don't blame them. I'm not exactly a prime catch.

U don't know it mentally but your obviously more attracted to men

Well, no, I did figure I'm more attracted to men...

The main thing I'm confused about is why I feel wrong when I'm with a girl. Yeah, I'm more attracted to men, but that doesn't mean I should feel bad about sleeping with women.

*shrug*

 

[DeadRussianSpaceMonkey]

The main thing I'm confused about is why I feel wrong when I'm with a girl. Yeah, I'm more attracted to men, but that doesn't mean I should feel bad about sleeping with women.

Maybe you're gay?

 

[Dedrick]

I think your issue is that you're confusing what being gay actually means...

Being straight, gay, or bi really has nothing to do with having sex. You can live your entire life in complete celibacy and still be gay. It's about romantic feelings - those butterflies you feel in your stomach, the emotional high you get when you're with someone you're attracted too.

Gay people feel those feelings for people of the same gender only. Bi people feel those feelings for both genders. Straight people feel those feelings for the opposite gender only.

Those feelings lead to relationships, which ultimately leads to sex.

A straight guy can have sex with a man, and he wouldn't be any less straight for it. The same goes for a gay guy having sex with a woman; he wouldn't be any less gay for it. In fact, there are many gay men with biological children from such relationships.

That doesn't mean a gay guy couldn't find someone of the opposite gender aesthetically pleasing. Many straight women admire the beauty and sexuality of other women, even as they have no desire for a sexual or a romantic relationship with them. The same is true for straight men, though it's less culturally acceptable for them to admit it.

Being gay, straight, or bi comes to you naturally.

TL;DR - Being gay has nothing to do with what is going on in your pants, it's all about what is going on in your heart and head.

 

[b0i70y]

I think your issue is that you're confusing what being gay actually means...

Being straight, gay, or bi really has nothing to do with having sex. You can live your entire life in complete celibacy and still be gay. It's about romantic feelings - those butterflies you feel in your stomach, the emotional high you get when you're with someone you're attracted too.

Gay people feel those feelings for people of the same gender only. Bi people feel those feelings for both genders. Straight people feel those feelings for the opposite gender only.

Those feelings lead to relationships, which ultimately leads to sex.

A straight guy can have sex with a man, and he wouldn't be any less straight for it. The same goes for a gay guy having sex with a woman; he wouldn't be any less gay for it. In fact, there are many gay men with biological children from such relationships.

That doesn't mean a gay guy couldn't find someone of the opposite gender aesthetically pleasing. Many straight women admire the beauty and sexuality of other women, even as they have no desire for a sexual or a romantic relationship with them. The same is true for straight men, though it's less culturally acceptable for them to admit it.

Being gay, straight, or bi comes to you naturally.

TL;DR - Being gay has nothing to do with what is going on in your pants, it's all about what is going on in your heart and head.

So being gay is more about being homoromantic than homosexual? Sorry, I'm a psychologist's son, I've been bred to over analyze.

I understand what you're saying. I'd already considered that... I just wanted to see if I had missed anything, but given your response I guess I was just worrying too much about things...

It's hard to call myself gay, though, when I can get an erection for women - but that might just be my own insecurities talking.

Thank you everyone - sometimes it helps me just to talk and listen.

 

[Dedrick]

So being gay is more about being homoromantic than homosexual? Sorry, I'm a psychologist's son, I've been bred to over analyze.

I understand what you're saying. I'd already considered that... I just wanted to see if I had missed anything, but given your response I guess I was just worrying too much about things...

It's hard to call myself gay, though, when I can get an erection for women - but that might just be my own insecurities talking.

Thank you everyone - sometimes it helps me just to talk and listen.

Homoromantic is a good way of describing it, I guess. The problem I was pointing to is that people get caught up too much on the sexual aspect of being gay, when really it's not the sex that determines whether or not someone is gay - it's what they feel. Otherwise, any straight guy whose ever engaged in sexual activity with another guy - and there are many - would be considered gay or bi. Likewise, any gay man whose ever had sexual activity with a woman would be considered straight or bi. Obviously, that's just silly.

As for getting an erection with women, yeah, well I could do that too. I don't find women icky or gross. Despite the fact that I'm gay, I still admire women who are beautiful and attractive.

I'd say my emotions and feelings toward women are pretty much the same and equal to a straight woman's feelings toward women.

No one can say whether you're gay or bi. Only you can say that, because only you know what you feel.

 

[b0i70y]

Homoromantic is a good way of describing it, I guess. The problem I was pointing to is that people get caught up too much on the sexual aspect of being gay, when really it's not the sex that determines whether or not someone is gay - it's what they feel. Otherwise, any straight guy whose ever engaged in sexual activity with another guy - and there are many - would be considered gay or bi. Likewise, any gay man whose ever had sexual activity with a woman would be considered straight or bi. Obviously, that's just silly.

As for getting an erection with women, yeah, well I could do that too. I don't find women icky or gross. Despite the fact that I'm gay, I still admire women who are beautiful and attractive.

I'd say my emotions and feelings toward women are pretty much the same and equal to a straight woman's feelings toward women.

No one can say whether you're gay or bi. Only you can say that, because only you know what you feel.

I definitely see what you're saying.

I appreciate it, really.

I guess I'll just go with my back up plan and live a little more before I define myself.

 

[Dedrick]

I definitely see what you're saying.

I appreciate it, really.

I guess I'll just go with my back up plan and live a little more before I define myself.

At the end of the day gay, straight, and bi are just labels. Some people will strive to put you into a box, but what is important is that you remain true to yourself. Labels don't fit everyone perfectly. The best advice that can be given is to follow your instincts as they generally won't steer you wrong.

Good luck.

 

[Darted]

Sounds like a gay guy in denial! I think it's just more exciting for you to be with guys because it's going into the unknown (since you've never fully had sex with one).