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Sometime, people can inadvertently show us they are homophobic/bigotted

Extreme political correctness ends up making people feel as if they're walking on eggshells when interacting with anyone different than themselves. They're so scared of making a false move because they don't want to be called racist, homophobic, etc, that they'll go out of their way to be nice, and end up making themselves look like an idiot.
It's like when meeting a black person, someone will immediately start going on about how "I have many black friends!" and "Wasn't Rosa Parks brave and wonderful?". There was actually an episode of "All In The Family" about that. Lionel called Mike out when he started going on about black issues the second Lionel walked in the door lol.

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It's like when meeting a black person, someone will immediately start going on about how "I have many black friends!" and "Wasn't Rosa Parks brave and wonderful?". There was actually an episode of "All In The Family" about that. Lionel called Mike out when he started going on about black issues the second Lionel walked in the door lol.

Have you ever seen that happen?
 
I think most sociology profs would bend over backwards to point out that how they talk about groups of people may not be how the people talk about themselves. I don't think they'd tend to impose academic formal language on informal situations or groups of people.

Well, a sociology professor I had decided to impose the term "Caucasian" during class even after a student said he preferred being called "white". I never did say that sociology profs like to butt in on private conversations.

- - - Updated - - -

Have you ever seen that happen?

White people claiming that they have black friends during a discussion about race as if it mattered? Yes.
 
Have you ever seen that happen?

actuals

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Reminds me of the time I met a couple where the woman thought my female friend was my date and said someone told her I was "that". Confused, I asked what, and she said again in soft voice "you know, that".

:rotflmao:

that shit has me rollin'.

I would have laughed in her face. Bless her, Jesus.
 
Extreme political correctness ends up making people feel as if they're walking on eggshells when interacting with anyone different than themselves. They're so scared of making a false move because they don't want to be called racist, homophobic, etc, that they'll go out of their way to be nice, and end up making themselves look like an idiot.
It's like when meeting a black person, someone will immediately start going on about how "I have many black friends!" and "Wasn't Rosa Parks brave and wonderful?". There was actually an episode of "All In The Family" about that. Lionel called Mike out when he started going on about black issues the second Lionel walked in the door lol.

I've always said that offense is only in the mind of the receiver. I could intend to hurl the most slanderous or hurtful derogatory remarks I could think of...but if the person I'm saying them to doesn't really give a damn...then it's not really "offensive", is it? Whereas any benign thing I say could be labeled offensive if the person chooses to take offense or is a super-sensitive Sally.

I'm a guy that likes to keep it real, but yeah...no thanks, I'll prefer to walk on my eggshells lest I stumble across the wrong crowd and consequently get beaten to a pulp.
 
I actually don't think you do. There's this new thing going around the internet lately that Americans don't ever use the word "black", only "African-American" which is completely false.

Most black Americans prefer being called "black". Most white Americans prefer being called "white" as opposed to the politically correct term "Caucasian". It's never imposed, except by snooty sociology profs, who will equally dismiss the tern "white" even if you insist that you would rather be called that(yes, I've seen sociology professors do this).

Oi, it's imposed on all those damn forms y'have to fill out for government and medical services. Not to mention various studies and surveys. Had to do that last week to help with a grant for, of all things, funding for a trans meeting group.
 
I've always said that offense is only in the mind of the receiver. I could intend to hurl the most slanderous or hurtful derogatory remarks I could think of...but if the person I'm saying them to doesn't really give a damn...then it's not really "offensive", is it? Whereas any benign thing I say could be labeled offensive if the person chooses to take offense or is a super-sensitive Sally.

I think there's kind of like, this big unspoken myth out there that "intent doesn't matter." And that belief is rather prevalent among people who don't "see the problem at all" with things like slurs or hate speech or similar. People in the intent doesn't matter camp tend to put everything on the receiver and make it an "attitude problem" on their end. Five guys backed you up against a fence calling you the n-word? Why are you being so sensitive, don't your people use that word in music all the time?

Intent does matter though. It's what separates a first degree murder from some lesser charge, for example.
 
I think there's kind of like, this big unspoken myth out there that "intent doesn't matter." And that belief is rather prevalent among people who don't "see the problem at all" with things like slurs or hate speech or similar. People in the intent doesn't matter camp tend to put everything on the receiver and make it an "attitude problem" on their end. Five guys backed you up against a fence calling you the n-word? Why are you being so sensitive, don't your people use that word in music all the time?

Intent does matter though. It's what separates a first degree murder from some lesser charge, for example.

Of course intent matters, it's what separates the intentional assholes from the careless/negligent/"should know better" crowd. And it also separates first degree murder from some lesser charge, as you state.

I don't place everything on the receiver, and I call a spade a spade, and an asshole an asshole. But logistically, finding something offensive is totally subjective (though there are broader constructs and generally agreed-upon offensive terminologies). Maybe it's my laid-back attitude that I couldn't give a flying fuck what someone calls me, but anyone would find it hard-pressed to offend me in anyway, and as such, it is perhaps harder for me to empathize with those that find everything little thing offensive. I certainly understand why someone would be offended, and perhaps when someone "should" be offended...but I tend to let things "roll off my back" much more easily than most people.

Being at the butt-end of intentionally hurtful comments or derogatory remarks is never a good thing and I don't expect anyone to be able to let things go as easily as I do. Should a black guy feel offended if a group of white punks slammed the n-word directly in his face? Of course...and he has all the rights and reasons to feel offended. If I were black and a group of white punks did that to me? I'd just be "meh". They can think what they want and I have much better things to do.

Perhaps it's the asshole (ironically) in me that I don't like to give the teasers what they want: the ability to get a rise out of me. I certainly don't let them "win". When they see that they can't get to you, their "spunk" diffuses pretty quickly.

I've had people say all kinds of shit, racial slurs or otherwise, to me...and my ability to smile, wink, look-right-through-them-as-if-they-don't-exist, or just walk past them, usually freaks them the fuck out or they just stop it right there. Offense taken? Nope, none by me.
 
Of course intent matters, it's what separates the intentional assholes from the careless/negligent/"should know better" crowd. And it also separates first degree murder from some lesser charge, as you state.

I don't place everything on the receiver, and I call a spade a spade, and an asshole an asshole. But logistically, finding something offensive is totally subjective (though there are broader constructs and generally agreed-upon offensive terminologies). Maybe it's my laid-back attitude that I couldn't give a flying fuck what someone calls me, but anyone would find it hard-pressed to offend me in anyway, and as such, it is perhaps harder for me to empathize with those that find everything little thing offensive. I certainly understand why someone would be offended, and perhaps when someone "should" be offended...but I tend to let things "roll off my back" much more easily than most people.

Being at the butt-end of intentionally hurtful comments or derogatory remarks is never a good thing and I don't expect anyone to be able to let things go as easily as I do. Should a black guy feel offended if a group of white punks slammed the n-word directly in his face? Of course...and he has all the rights and reasons to feel offended. If I were black and a group of white punks did that to me? I'd just be "meh". They can think what they want and I have much better things to do.

Perhaps it's the asshole (ironically) in me that I don't like to give the teasers what they want: the ability to get a rise out of me. I certainly don't let them "win". When they see that they can't get to you, their "spunk" diffuses pretty quickly.

I've had people say all kinds of shit, racial slurs or otherwise, to me...and my ability to smile, wink, look-right-through-them-as-if-they-don't-exist, or just walk past them, usually freaks them the fuck out or they just stop it right there. Offense taken? Nope, none by me.

I feel like your post drew it up a bit in extremes, maybe unintentionally. Something can be offensive because it was intended to be offensive, without regard for whether or not the person it was directed at is very sensitive, not sensitive, or totally thick-skinned.

I suppose the simplest way I could put it would be... a teacher would send a kid in class to the dean for calling a female a classmate a c-u-n-t because it is offensive and unacceptable... rather than checking first if it bothered the girl or not. And that's the way a civil society should work, at least imho.
 
I feel like your post drew it up a bit in extremes, maybe unintentionally. Something can be offensive because it was intended to be offensive, without regard for whether or not the person it was directed at is very sensitive, not sensitive, or totally thick-skinned.

I suppose the simplest way I could put it would be... a teacher would send a kid in class to the dean for calling a female a classmate a c-u-n-t because it is offensive and unacceptable... rather than checking first if it bothered the girl or not. And that's the way a civil society should work, at least imho.

It was partially intentional. I do agree that being offensive should also depend on the intentions, and perhaps I was over-zealous to not state that point. And I agree with your point about a civil society. However (and this is probably an issue of semantics), is something truly offensive if the receiver didn't see it as such? What may be largely regarded as offensive terminology has no bearing on that particular receiver, because he just really didn't care enough. What is offensive to person A may not be offensive to person B. The act itself may be offensive, but it stops there.....
 
However (and this is probably an issue of semantics), is something truly offensive if the receiver didn't see it as such?

Of course that situation is different. Rolyo and I got reported once (but didn't get in trouble) for making teasingly insulting remarks about each other's ancestry, with some people apparently not knowing that we are friends. However, someone can mean for their remarks to you to be offensive, even if you choose not to rise to the bait. All you are controlling is your reaction... not the fact that someone was saying something offensive to you with the clear intent of being offensive.
 
On another forum, I had a discussion with someone else about politics and gay marriage. At one point, I said "this homo thinks..." referring to myself. Everyone knew I was gay btw. Well, I just got banned for personal insult. I replied to the mod asking what was insulting in my post and he said "this homo".

First of all, I don't consider the word homo derogatory at all. Ignoring the part that I was referring to myself, this tells me that the mod is a closeted homophobe.

Reminds me of the time I met a couple where the woman thought my female friend was my date and said someone told her I was "that". Confused, I asked what, and she said again in soft voice "you know, that".

Haha, sometimes, trying to be politically correct actually tells people about yourself than you intend to. Some of my black friends have told me that they don't trust people who are afraid to say the word "black" for that reason. To a racist, the word black is derogatory, and they think everyone thinks that.

Haha yeah I get they "that" situation quite a lot. Here in australia people say conspiratorially to each other "he's a bit *makes a limp wrist gesture*" and they think they're so tolerant.

Certainly shows why homophobia is still so prevalent when people are still so scared to even mention gay people
 
Haha yeah I get they "that" situation quite a lot. Here in australia people say conspiratorially to each other "he's a bit *makes a limp wrist gesture*" and they think they're so tolerant.

Certainly shows why homophobia is still so prevalent when people are still so scared to even mention gay people

If they are " scared to mention" it is in part because they are uncertain of the reaction and do not want to offend. If they intend to be to be tolerant, they are, by definition, tolerant.
 
If they are " scared to mention" it is in part because they are uncertain of the reaction and do not want to offend. If they intend to be to be tolerant, they are, by definition, tolerant.

I'm not sure it's always that simple. There's a certain degree of isolation that comes whenever people walk on eggshells around you simply because you fit into a category they're unfamiliar with. It makes you "the other", and it can be extremely difficult to overcome when the sentiment exists in a crowd.
 
I still don't see the logic in the OP - extreme political correctness doesn't have to be a sign of homophobia, and banning someone for calling himself a homo is moronic and mechanical - are their mods bots or something? - but it isn't an expression of homophobia at all. They didn't do it because they thing it's wrong to be a homo, they did it because they were super afraid of homos taking offence.
 
If they are " scared to mention" it is in part because they are uncertain of the reaction and do not want to offend. If they intend to be to be tolerant, they are, by definition, tolerant.

So not using any word at all but making a stereotypical gesture to refer to gay people is what tolerant people do? Ok.

I still don't see the logic in the OP - extreme political correctness doesn't have to be a sign of homophobia, and banning someone for calling himself a homo is moronic and mechanical - are their mods bots or something? - but it isn't an expression of homophobia at all. They didn't do it because they thing it's wrong to be a homo, they did it because they were super afraid of homos taking offence.

Was probably his phrasing too. "This homo thinks" could easily be misunderstood as characterizing someone else's idea.
 
My choice is black, and often I'll use Caucasian. (Caucasian is indeed a "scientific" designation...and, until your post, I wasn't even aware that it was considered to be a "PC" term, just a term that's rarely used.)

Similarly, blind people (a demographic from which I know *MANY* people) prefer being called blind, rather than "visually impaired." Using the PC term is something that is viewed as rather condescending.

The term "Caucasian" refers to a mountain range in Eastern Europe where it is believed that the first Indo-Europeans settled. Considering most white Americans feel no affinity for Eastern Europe at all, it seems very PC from our side of the fence.
 
The term "Caucasian" refers to a mountain range in Eastern Europe where it is believed that the first Indo-Europeans settled. Considering most white Americans feel no affinity for Eastern Europe at all, it seems very PC from our side of the fence.

I actually prefer visually impaired. I think the reason most blind people prefer to be called blind is because sighted people have an odd concept of blindness, and if you say you're visually impaired instead of blind they start to pretend they're eye doctors, complete strangers questioning your vision and waving fingers around in front of you. Easier just to say blind. Besides which, there's a bit o'culture there, so.

Hrm. Actually, it's probably more of a conceptual thing. Blind is what people have been lumped under, the idea of which is complete darkness while the reality is that most blind people can see something. It isn't what you see, but it sure as hell isn't complete darkness. Meanwhile, sighted people think life is like going around with a blindfold and waving your hands in front of you, helpless. Irritating and inaccurate.

Not saying you posted that, but more trying to explain. There's also that people like to rename things and then pretend that it does a big service so they can ignore all those accessibility requirement and equal opportunity for work and don't get me started on finding housing. Bring a cane along and no one wants you to live there, it got to where we had to fold it up and Kris kept an eye out when we got to possible apartments.
 
I actually prefer visually impaired. I think the reason most blind people prefer to be called blind is because sighted people have an odd concept of blindness, and if you say you're visually impaired instead of blind they start to pretend they're eye doctors, complete strangers questioning your vision and waving fingers around in front of you. Easier just to say blind. Besides which, there's a bit o'culture there, so.

Hrm. Actually, it's probably more of a conceptual thing. Blind is what people have been lumped under, the idea of which is complete darkness while the reality is that most blind people can see something. It isn't what you see, but it sure as hell isn't complete darkness. Meanwhile, sighted people think life is like going around with a blindfold and waving your hands in front of you, helpless. Irritating and inaccurate.

Not saying you posted that, but more trying to explain. There's also that people like to rename things and then pretend that it does a big service so they can ignore all those accessibility requirement and equal opportunity for work and don't get me started on finding housing. Bring a cane along and no one wants you to live there, it got to where we had to fold it up and Kris kept an eye out when we got to possible apartments.

This explains a lot about a customer of mine. He uses one of my apps. We've been exchanging emails back and forth about how to use the app. I've been using the phrase "visually impaired" but he's been consistently calling himself "blind".
 
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