Soon To Be Single

[Jacinta]

Hey guys i am a little nervous about posting on here...

ok well my problem is i have been seeing a guy for about a month but only really been official for about 2 weeks.

The thing is that roughly every 6 months i go get my regular check up with my doctors, but because i am dating someone now i thought to do things right by him i would go and get one so i know that im am fine.

Yesterday i got a phonecall turns out i wasn't fine. They asked me to come in today to talk. First thing i thought of was "what if i got something and what if i passed it on."

They found an STI in my throat (Don't ask which one im embarrassed as fuck by it, but i got a needle should be gone in a few days.) Im worried that when i tell him that i "could" of passed it to him that he will dump me.

My friends keep telling me that if he does end it he is shallow and this and that, but i really dont think that is what i need to hear. They keep telling me "stop take a breath and think about your health" im not worried about my health im worried about his and what he will think of me afterwoods. Things have been great between us so far and everyone has notice they comment on the sparkle that is in my eye.

I just want to know what to do and what will happen and don't worry no matter what he will know as soon as i can see him while he is sober, there is something worse then him knowin... and thats pretending everything is fine.

~ Jacinta

 

[JackFTwist]

I am not familiar with the phrase "STI."

Whatever - you have to tell your friend. A relationship is built on trust and honesty. Plus if he is at risk of anything, he must be informed. This is not even worth debating. Just do it.

 

[darklight13]

I am not familiar with the phrase "STI."

Whatever - you have to tell your friend. A relationship is built on trust and honesty. Plus if he is at risk of anything, he must be informed. This is not even worth debating. Just do it.

STI = sexually transmitted infection

JackFTwist is right...

 

[tallguy297]

Hey Jacinta,

Welcome to JUB!!!! Its awesome to see you here... and even better to see you post! You're surrounded by friends who will always offer opinions and advice... not judgment.

You should feel proud of the fact that your concern is for your bf... and the fact that you have no hesitation in telling him and doing the right thing. It shows your morals and your values... it shows you care and respect.

And truthfully... after a little shock I'm sure thats what your bf will think too. Honesty and respect are the 2 building blocks for a successful relationship and thats what he will see.

You are telling him what you know, as soon as you know it. You are telling him the truth and the facts. You are telling him so you can be treated and he can be checked. You are telling him because you made the effort to get checked out... and really he should have too if you made that effort.

Being safe and getting checked out isnt a sign of a promiscuous or slutty past... its a sign of respect. Even careful cautious people can get caught out from time to time so the assumption that you are a bad person or have done the wrong thing isnt accurate.

Just talk to him, explain your embarrassment and your fears. You're only human and we all make mistakes. Just be proud of yourself because your not going to make the one of lying to him and trying to cover this up. Its a sign of who you are!

 

[VICTORIADON]

There is another way...

Most STDs (STIs) are reportable in most countries, have the clinic or doctors' office notifiy the other person to come in for a check-up, they will not identify you. It does take the heat off of you for a little of the dilema.

A STD does not appear by itself, where did you get it from? I don't expect you to answer that here, but it is something you have to ask yourself.

All the best.
Don

PS: what's with the "as soon as I can see him while he is sober"? I know, that topic is for another day.

 

[pausanias_usa]

How do you know he didn't give it to you?

 

[rareboy]

You owe it to your friend to be honest with him. Your embarassment is not equal to his health and well being.

People have to get over the idea that STI's are stigmata. Infections have no conscience. They are just a consequence of being human.

Just do it.

 

[SilverRRCloud]

Do not waste any time. Go and send him to the docs for couple of needles and all will be good.

If he chooses to drop you over this, good riddance.

You should be never afraid to do the right thing. Never.

SC

 

[Jacinta]

Hey again.

What i meant by see him sober is that he had a busy weekend planned and he tend to over react to things when he is drunk.

Well i told him he seemed ok, but after i told him he wouldnt stay the night with me. Actually he hasnt spoken to me since. I sent him a couple of phone messages today and havent got a reply, and now i am to afraid to call him.

See the thing is on the weekend he kept texting me and telling me how wonderful i am and how thankful he is to have met me and how he has done some pretty rotten stuff in his life and thats why he cant believe he is with me... and now he wont talk to me. It really kinda sucks...

- Jacinta

 

[rareboy]

Well, you did the right thing.

Just let him be and don't fret if he has dropped you.

 

[backpacker]

Welcome to JUB!

We can't tell you how he will react to the news. What we can tell you is that you need to tell him (which you have already stated you would do). Don't forget, there is definitely a chance that you caught it from him. He needs to be checked or you may just catch it again.

If you being honest with him about an STD causes him to leave, then count yourself as lucky. I certainly hope that doesn't happen. I must say the fact that you are waiting until he's sober is a big relationship red flag for me. That really sounds like a much bigger issue than your STD. Good luck!