Well.. I knew this guy was gay, and that he was more or less in the same boat as me.. He is out to all of his friends, but not out to his parents yet, they freak out over it. Well, I wasn't out to anyone except here.. Well, I basically came out to him by showing him a profile of mine, and I told him to go look at my guild list.. He was, pretty shocked, and happy!
Happy because, he told me that hes had a crush on me since 9th grade (before he came out, though I always thought he was gay because he had a poetic way of talking.. I actually used to make fun of it.. lol.), because I am "cute" and we both have a lot of common interests like games, drawing, art, geeky dorky stuff.. I was..... Pretty damn shocked! I didn't even know I was his type. He said he thinks that I'm manly, and he likes that in a guy. He likes that I'm very reserved, very private, and that I'm not an easy person to get to know at all. He said that all throughout high school when he was trying to dig up dirt on me it was really a challenge because even the people I did speak to didn't know much about me other than my undying love for tennis, and I always talked about them, or school rather than myself, they all basically said I was a very nice cool, laid back, and funny guy. They also thought I was all straight, so around 11th grade when I did early admission into a local college's honors program upon getting pissed off with my high school, he gave up on chasing me. Annnnd now that we've found each other again through myspace, he's trying again.. Even though he is going to college in another country (UK).
Umm I didn't have a crush on him though all during that time. 9th grade was actually my first year ever in a school, I was home schooled up until that point. I didn't even develop my first crush on a guy till maybe a year or two ago? But that kinda dissipated when I had to work with him in speech, and he was an idiot.
Anyways, He was going through some awkward phases (ages 14-18, what do you expect?), now I think he is very cute, I like him with shorter hair as opposed to in the past he had longer hair, with some of it dyed blonde? and it looked a little like a raccoon head? I kept getting raccoon.. He can even actually grow a beard now! where as in the past when he would talk most of my attention was at looking at the fuzzy little stache that he had. Anyways... He's quite cute as well..
Errr.. Anyways, after the whole shocker, he was asking me if I would date him when he comes back... Problem is... I don't think I'm ready!!! I think I'm too paranoid, I'm still closeted to everyone else, he is the only person that knows.. He recommended coming out to mutual friends of hours as they were the first people he came out to, but I decided not to because I really feel like they have a big mouth. I mean, they rock and all.. But I just don't trust them, or a lot of people for that matter with secrets.. Another thing.. I don't even like dating, or going out.. Its so.... Boring? Unless its to the movies, I really don't go out much.. Especially because I find my food better than most restraunts food, and I'm a little paranoid (yes, I use that word again to show you how nutty I can be), that spit gets on my food.. Like you know after the chef finishes cooking the plate, and its just sitting on this rack waiting for the slow as hell waiter or waitress to go fetch it for you? Well, everyone is talking around there, the chefs talking, the waiters are talking, spit comes out of peoples mouths as they talk and go onto you food.. This is part of my OCD that pretty much goes undiagnosed by everyone except my parents.. The other part is that I don't really like to get my hands that dirty? I don't like putting them in the ground, or in mud or something. My parents often joke "Its a shame that your OCD doesn't make you a compulsive cleaner.. It would save us a fortune in cleaning ladies."
I dunno why I'm posting this.. Maybe to say I'm happy that someone out there loves me? Or to say I feel like a huge weight has been lifted by coming out to one person? Its a pretty huge step? I don't know..
You're all welcome to impart a few words of wisdom if you like.
P.S. - Sorry is this post confuses you, my head is kinda all over the place.
In addition.. Coming out to him seemed really easy.. But thats only cause I knew he would accept it. Though, the only thing I had trouble with was the fact that he knows me in person, and we have tons of mutual friends..
We've also been chatting up a storm on skype, and AIM since.. Like.. 6 or 7 hours a night.. I'm kinda worried about him getting sleep and getting his work done.
Happy because, he told me that hes had a crush on me since 9th grade (before he came out, though I always thought he was gay because he had a poetic way of talking.. I actually used to make fun of it.. lol.), because I am "cute" and we both have a lot of common interests like games, drawing, art, geeky dorky stuff.. I was..... Pretty damn shocked! I didn't even know I was his type. He said he thinks that I'm manly, and he likes that in a guy. He likes that I'm very reserved, very private, and that I'm not an easy person to get to know at all. He said that all throughout high school when he was trying to dig up dirt on me it was really a challenge because even the people I did speak to didn't know much about me other than my undying love for tennis, and I always talked about them, or school rather than myself, they all basically said I was a very nice cool, laid back, and funny guy. They also thought I was all straight, so around 11th grade when I did early admission into a local college's honors program upon getting pissed off with my high school, he gave up on chasing me. Annnnd now that we've found each other again through myspace, he's trying again.. Even though he is going to college in another country (UK).
Umm I didn't have a crush on him though all during that time. 9th grade was actually my first year ever in a school, I was home schooled up until that point. I didn't even develop my first crush on a guy till maybe a year or two ago? But that kinda dissipated when I had to work with him in speech, and he was an idiot.
Anyways, He was going through some awkward phases (ages 14-18, what do you expect?), now I think he is very cute, I like him with shorter hair as opposed to in the past he had longer hair, with some of it dyed blonde? and it looked a little like a raccoon head? I kept getting raccoon.. He can even actually grow a beard now! where as in the past when he would talk most of my attention was at looking at the fuzzy little stache that he had. Anyways... He's quite cute as well..
Errr.. Anyways, after the whole shocker, he was asking me if I would date him when he comes back... Problem is... I don't think I'm ready!!! I think I'm too paranoid, I'm still closeted to everyone else, he is the only person that knows.. He recommended coming out to mutual friends of hours as they were the first people he came out to, but I decided not to because I really feel like they have a big mouth. I mean, they rock and all.. But I just don't trust them, or a lot of people for that matter with secrets.. Another thing.. I don't even like dating, or going out.. Its so.... Boring? Unless its to the movies, I really don't go out much.. Especially because I find my food better than most restraunts food, and I'm a little paranoid (yes, I use that word again to show you how nutty I can be), that spit gets on my food.. Like you know after the chef finishes cooking the plate, and its just sitting on this rack waiting for the slow as hell waiter or waitress to go fetch it for you? Well, everyone is talking around there, the chefs talking, the waiters are talking, spit comes out of peoples mouths as they talk and go onto you food.. This is part of my OCD that pretty much goes undiagnosed by everyone except my parents.. The other part is that I don't really like to get my hands that dirty? I don't like putting them in the ground, or in mud or something. My parents often joke "Its a shame that your OCD doesn't make you a compulsive cleaner.. It would save us a fortune in cleaning ladies."
I dunno why I'm posting this.. Maybe to say I'm happy that someone out there loves me? Or to say I feel like a huge weight has been lifted by coming out to one person? Its a pretty huge step? I don't know..
You're all welcome to impart a few words of wisdom if you like.
P.S. - Sorry is this post confuses you, my head is kinda all over the place.
In addition.. Coming out to him seemed really easy.. But thats only cause I knew he would accept it. Though, the only thing I had trouble with was the fact that he knows me in person, and we have tons of mutual friends..
We've also been chatting up a storm on skype, and AIM since.. Like.. 6 or 7 hours a night.. I'm kinda worried about him getting sleep and getting his work done.
you sound ... 
haha you're just nervous. dude, tell him all of this! honestly. go out to a movie and go get a coffee. spend some time together. 
