Sorry for annoying everyone, but...

[relaxin13]

This has nothing to do with anything, but I'm really bored and semi-drunk, so I feel like ranting. I'm not sure what I feel like talking about so I'm just going to go at it.

I'm bored with my life... I've come out to only one of my friends, and though I know my other friends would be as accepting as the one great friend I've come out to, I cannot imagine doing so. I came out before Christmas (yes, I'm somewhat religious and kinda wanted to talk about that later - - Don't worry admins, I'll go to the proper forum), and I told my best friend I wanted him there when I came out to my other friends before he went back to his college (yes I have a fucking crush on my best friend, and yes it is killing my soul).

Anyways, that didn't happen, he's back at college, and as usual, I am longing for him...

THIS FUCKING SUCKS.

I know I'm not the only one who has experienced this, and I know most of the advice I'm going to get.
"Realize your friend is straight and find some gay guys to get to know..."
"Take your time, when you want to come out, you will..."
"Blah blah blah, and when you blah blah etc, you will blah blah..."

I see no purpose of me saying any of this other than to just fucking say it and let my mind speak its true feelings.

Anyways, my life is currently a fucked up jumble of something I am sure should be much better, and I assume will be one day. I just don't have the ability to take the necessary steps to make those improvements just yet.



Guess thats all I gotta say right now, sorry for annoying everyone with my personal bullshit, and I apologize if the vulgarities offend anyone.

 

[M4P]

You're not annoying us at all

This is the place to be for such feelings. Please, stick around. This is a great place to share your feelings and seek advice. The JUBers who frequent this forum have a wealth of knowledge and experience

 

[luminum]

Life sucks, doesn't it?

All in due time. Just get some rest, man. The rant is yours, so don't apologize for it.

:: pat pat::

 

[Smitho]

Don't worry about ranting, everyone has to do it sometimes, so good to do it here.

You seem to know the problems and the answers, so just work through them, and stick around and post some more.

Take care

 

[VICTORIADON]

Didn't annoy me at all. Everyone has to vent at times, and at times it helps.

 

[secondmonkey]

This won't help much, but I feel exactly the same way. That's why I'm an alcoholic. My advice is to keep hanging out around here and reading this forum, in a morbid way it's kinda nice to know there are lots of other people out there as screwed up as I am. I honestly feel alot better about some things since I've joined.

 

[rareboy]

For anyone who is an alcoholic at the age of 21, I highly recommend joining AA. You can get your whole life back on track. Please reach out and get this help. They are wonderful groups.

 

[Christopher123]

I know I'm not the only one who has experienced this

No, you're not. It happens to many of us. I had a 'crush' on a friend of mine. I never let him know that, of course, he was straight as an arrow with a beautiful girlfriend. And I always felt so.... insignificant. When we'd all get together, it was hard just being in the same room with him.

So I know the feeling.

Been there, done that

Rant all you want.

 

[hermanding]

we ARE here to hear rants among other things. sometimes one needs to scream. by the way you gave yourself good advice in the rant. we'll all need to explode at times. abrazos - hugs
ding

 

[laegolass]

Yeah, I know how you feel because I'm also experiencing this situation. Been having a crush on my friend i met mid-2005. Became very close friend but realised i have a crush on him half year later till now. He know i'm gay, though.
At first, i have the same thought as you (i.e. life sucks) but realised that i'm very fortunate because I'm living a comfortable and safe life (Unlike those who are living in poverty and war-torn countries). Oh well.......hope someday we can find our true love.

 

[screwnutty]

Welcome to Jub!

and also welcome to the uncoming storm of coming out! I know how you feel....hell we all do here. But your not the only boat in the storm. If anything is bothering you, post it here and we'll be more then happy to help you ride out the storm so to speak!

Remember the old saying "Sometimes it has to get worse before it gets better!"

good luck to you!

 

[ludolfo]

bla bla bla. bladebla, and bla......no but seriously

unrequited love HURTS

telling your friend can really also hurt cause it can leave you friendless, or very uncomfortable atmoshpere. so here wahts i suggest............

the delightful torture of sexual tension. this means that your every pore will feel lust ...and love of course, for your bezzy friend, BUT you mustn't MUSTN'T speak it out loud.
he will KNOW even if only unconsciously, and if it is to happen it will, but spontaneously, not you actually saying it, with words, or makin a grab for him that is too obvious.

feel free to rip this advice up and stamp on it if you wanna

 

[jimmyr_whatever]

Its funny how you always think your the only one thinking things like that... i have the same drunken ramblings in my head all the time... toned down a bit when im sober granted but its good to know that people are in the same situation. Its just a shame i cant meet people to talk about it, rather than it being on the net!

I wonder if our level of anguish is shared by straight people in some of there dilemmas. I cant imagine they would ever go through shit like this!

 

[Riverrick]

Talking about it here is a good step for you. No sense in being alone with this stuff.

Sorry you're having such a rough time.