Years of therapy and mucho $$ (my insurer's money, fortunately) later, this I have learned. You can't change him, he won't "improve" and if there is any changing, you are the one who will have to do it. When you love someone, you accept them as is. You know the old line: "I love you, marry me, now change!" Change is indeed possible, but the change will have to come from you. And eventually it is worth it if you really want to be with someone. You can still be as affectionate and demonstrative as you want, but if it makes him uneasy (and God knows where these things come from), then make him feel good and stop already. If being with someone is truly special, then what the hell difference do a few hugs and kisses amount to? I do not mean to insult or hurt you, but perhaps you should think about what makes you need reassurances of this kind from a person who may not be able to give you the reassurance in exactly the way you want it. And here I am not being flippant: if it reaches the point where you and he are miserable, then go to a councillor where you are encouraged to talk things out with a referee to keep the discussion (and fight) fair and on track.
Good dose of country music might help too! Those people are always asking why no one brings them roses anymore--even when they were never promised a rose garden. I am getting silly now, so I close with every good wish.
