Spazz04 - Archived Blog Posts

[Spazz04]

Im just waiting for the weekend, I'm very excited for it than i have been in the past on any weekends. I going to catch a ride with a new friend to Dan and Jerry's House which will be nice. There's something about Nelchina that's grown on me lately could be the overwhelming relaxing feeling i get when there.
It's a 2 hour drive from my house and this will be the first time making the trip with someone to talk with. Talk we will, i imagine
so very much looking forward to it but for now i am tired and going to take a nap.

Kyle

Go for it! you won't be disappointed.

 

[Spazz04]

Well i recently moved my iMac to the living room and realized today it is close enough to my amp to plug it in and listen to my music in a more Kyle fashion . So i have many up beat songs playing and trying to clean the house and get packed for Dan's. Usually i throw a bag together the morning of, but I'm leaving earlier (thanks to ummmm) it's okay early to bed early to rise. I am looking forward to the whole trip so much.
I usually am a home body, well the past three years i have been but lately I've been getting out more and its nice. I do love the comfort of my walls but the experience of something new is one not to pass up.
Well need to get going this house isn't going to clean it self



oh very sad news from Ellen D. today
http://ellen.warnerbros.com/2008/02/a_tragedy_that_should_never_ha.php

 

[Spazz04]

OK, I am not much of a morning person but today I'm excited so i got up rather easily. I mean now my body is like you bastard but it'll get used to it. about to head out and meet up with a friend at car pool up to Dan's house, i think i have everything packed and ready to go. well ill probably post more later tonight. Anyone else feel uncontrollably sick in the mornings when they wake up? cause damn, i do most morning i get up early, its a drag.
Well, Have a good day!

 

[Spazz04]

WOW! I had a b-l-a-s-t yesterday and sure today will work into one too. Ummm, everything was so amazing i was render speechless. Driving up i got to talk and see the beautiful sites outside and in. Seeing Dan is always very nice, grrr... he has an iPhone, ha-ha. It's very cool i played with it, the iPhone. Stacked wood in wood shed, with a purple coated man. I got to watch a movie, hum can't remember which one it was . Oh my Ribs, Okra, bread and Bread pudding for dessert (the best i have ever had). Now everyones up and moving, so on with a new day I'm a little tired and could use a nap today

 

[Spazz04]

OK so Monday's are my longer day for school, I'm in and out of class from noon to 10PM so i came home with a drawing board and T and my boyfriend was watching TV with his 16 year old daughter and she was asking me what i had.. so i was explaining it to her and within a minute my boyfriend is like "uhum.. watching TV."

It's sad that it's gotten to this point of, TV (with a recording box where you can pause it and the show is being recorded anyways) has priority over a simple few minute hello nice to see you, how was class? could all just be a formality but WTF if the person feels unappreciated with out it, than is it too much to ask?

Anyways, lucky me i have people to talk to and live my life vicariously through my online computer community.
I thank you ALL, Life savers you are.

 

[Spazz04]

Well First i want to thank you who read my blog and posts, it means a lot.

I am still fairly steamed this morning My 52 year old alcoholic boyfriend, got all upset last night before bed cause i spend too much time on the computer. He watches TV and i go onto the computer, i find it more interactive and creative. Anyways so he went to bed 5 minutes before me and when i went it i feed the fish and tried to talk to him but he was pretending to be asleep. So in the dark i moved over to my side of the bed and stepped on paper on the floor i went back and turned on one of the fish lights and realized all my school books and papers were all over the floor. I paused and asked my bf, "Did you throw my books on the floor?" his response was "no, i placed them there."

Ahhhhh!!!!!!!

So i just walked out took my dogs and slept on the futon. I woke up many times through the night. He tried to wake me, well huh, he did but he thought i was still sleeping and honestly didn't know why i would be on the futon. I could hear is daughter and him talking and i just thought, Damn this guy seriously can't remember

I know it's crazy to stay but after 3 years its a bit harder, I am working in that direction. Part of why i wrote this in the blog is SO I WILL REMEMBER. I have developed this convenient ability to forgets such events and move on, not so sure it's what i want to continue doing that.

Visual Aid

 

[Spazz04]

Today has been sort of laid back, i was going to drive in to my web-design class but ended up running late so i joined them online via Eliminate classroom. Saved on gas and time
I watch one of those Intervention shows a girl in Salt Lake City was addicted to cocaine and heroin. I cried it was really sad. What hit me harder than her condition was the family structure and how the love happened to be manipulated and used in the most harmful way possible. To top it off her mom was bulimic and weighed 86 pounds. In the end they both agreed to get help and when they did the flash forward 2 months, it was night and day difference in their health and appearance. I was very proud of them

This is my song for today


Well today i sat my bf down and said, look i love you but i can't do it with you drinking. It went very well, i basically said i gotta look out for me and do what i think is best. I brought to his attention that i was emotionally disconnected with him and no longer would be effected by his drinking or support it. I also added that I had planned everything out so no for him not too worry about the "how". I told him i wasn't looking for him to quit, i could care less. I was looking for him to get help, because he doesn't like to communicate and listen to people so going out and getting help is what i need to see happen. I stated i would stay to finish up the semester and wrap up some things BUT shy of him joining AA and doing a 180. I'll be doing a 180 and walking out the door and on with my life.

 

[Spazz04]

Ok so today was fairly laid back i decided i wanted to take some more photos. With no one to take them I am stuck with setting the camera timer and jumping into the shot.
Anyways here's the photo

Ok now i don't like this as much as my avatar. But Curious what you all think, Do you like the taunting shirtless grey scaled me? What kind of photos would you like to see (of me)?

 

[Spazz04]

Friday:
Packed and stayed the night with a friend. We went out to an Incredible restaurant (South Side Bistro) I felt underdressed. Had a great night. Nice. Everything was Nice.

Saturday:
I hung out with my friend and we had the left overs from the restaurant and omg delicious. Middle of the day i left and went to other friends house, Erik best friend from H.S. Spent some time with them, ever since i moved out of Anchorage we don't talk or hang out much. His girlfriend (also my H.S. friend) was flabbergasted at my open relationship and was very interested in it.

Sunday:
Boyfriend's daughter was packing to go to New York for the week with her H.S. choir class. So family time we all hung out and than while she packed we watched the movie 300. Having to leave at 5AM both her and I stayed up all night and i drove her to the airport an hour away. We got fresh doughnuts at 6AM and much needed coffee. either were that great but very welcoming

Sitemanager:
So today i am picking up and doing this and that but also i am using Spring Break to wrap up several big projects i have for school. One of which is my Sitemanager V1.2 a PHP CMS. I am working on a new site on Kyle's Life (appropriate for school).

It's kind of a dream of mine to make a program or interactive site or something people will use.

 

[Spazz04]

So it's Spring Break and I have been cleaning house than i realized there's a damn good chance that ill be moving in a few months so i started to organize and separate my belongings. Than i noticed i have a lot of seasonal possessions that i could pack up and drop off at my folks house. Since they have like 7 spare bedrooms anyways, i don't think they'll mind. So i have my first car load full and ready to drop off on Friday. I think if or when the time comes to leave it'll make it easier. I do love my bf and i am entirely open with him but he's just not whiling to give up his booze.

I half feel bad cause i am already peeking at the next page in my life and seeing what i can paint on it. It's not like i don't want to be 22 year old house mom anymore i just want to have my own little place where i can actually have people over and not be embarrassed. I want to return to my active lifestyle (mountain biking, Wake skating,cross-country skiing, snowboarding, roller blading) lots i can and want to do. Like camping, i got a tent and chairs and sleeping bag, everything but the bug spray. well only half i guess, it's like i was half guilty about eating ice cream last night.

I have been listening to Sister Hazels - All for You. It's stuck in my head. Ok, so yes it is but i am also posting it a little to see what GL says about it.


Well it's been a good day, lots of remembering who i was and thinking about who i want to be. It's good though. Is it weird that i want to be Mr. Gay Alaska... haha i want to do something big for ummm public relations and want to be out and proud with it. I think it's the part of me that always strived to be something, other than average. My elementary school's secretary told me my full name "Kyle Brian Thomas Klopfer" sounded like the name of a president. Nice lady, I'd rather help people though. Ok back to cleaning and packing.

 

[Spazz04]

Here's a video of my biking adventure last week. went to the old Knik town site past the Knik airport. Had a blast, so nice to be out in the woods, i found a rope swing and took many great photos. turned out to be a very satisfying day and i did it all by myself. well how about that.

 

[Spazz04]

I just finished watching "We Are Marshall" i cried it was a very sad movie. I not much of a football fan but heartfelt movie with football themes i like... that movie Invincible was good one to.

I am heading into Anchorage today, very happy should be a great time. I've decided not to take summer classes and to work over the summer save up and return to the UAA in the fall.

It's a sunny day one where the heat is melting the recent snow cover yet there's enough to brighten up all those extra parts of life. I heard birds chirping today and my dogs are playing in the snow (which meant they were all wet when they came inside :S) Where i am going with this is.. it's a day that has meaning i can feel it. I have had day's like this before and bound to have them again but it's a good feeling to wake up and look outside and tear up at the beauty on the other side of the glass. Oh, to trap that overwhelming feeling into a bottle to tap into on rainy days. Funny i feel so good, cause i am sad, tired, rested, nervous, anxious, afraid, but most importantly i am at peace with myself.

I am almost done with my book than will read Plato's - Symposium.

To everyone who knows me or is just getting to know me better, i love you all & YOU give me the courage, strength and persistence to be a better person. I hope i can become half of the friend you have been for me.

BIG Hugs and Kisses to Everyone!
Kyle

 

[Spazz04]

OH my thanks Jason for exposing me
to Priscilla Queen of the Desert... i have downloaded and been listening too many songs inspired by that movie.
Including:
Mika - Grace Kelly
ABBA - Dancing Queen
Kylie Minogue - Can't Get You Out Of My Head
Cascada-What Hurts The Most
Pet Shop Boys - Go West
Queen - Bohemian Rhapsody
Shinedown - Simple Man
Lynard Skynard - That Smell - thanks to Rick for this one
Elvis Presley - I Don't Care If The Sun Don't Shine

So thank you, I have found no better motivation in my life than good music. It makes me dance and sing and feel happy as all get out.

So if you have any suggestions for songs you think i woud like, i would love to hear them

 

[Spazz04]

ok now i have heard this before years ago.. but i was telling GayPianist about this guy, Justin King. I just had to post a video it's absolutely beautiful what he can do with a guitar.



Ok so that being said, it's a sunny day out i am going to have a Banana Strawberry GoCrunch! yogurt... and clean the house and dance to happy uplifting music. I'll give myself 4 hours before i am sucked back into the grip of my computer.

 

[Spazz04]

AHHHHHHH... I SWEAR I WILL NEVER HAVE KIDS!!!!
Last night my boyfriends 16 year old daughter wanted to make a movie with a friend and they needed a tripod, now on every tripod there is a small piece that fits on the camera well over a year ago one of her friends walked off with mine so it useless so i let her use my new bendable tripod (that i LOVED) and i was picking up all their shit they left around the house and since they were using it i grabbed it off the counter and noticed they broke a leg, it's cracked and the leg doesn't fit on it... how the fuck am i going to use a 2 leged tripod!! AHHHHHHH! i have a lot of think i like and i have them organized and in the right spots all the time.. teen-agers drive me up the wall. UN-be-freaking-livable... I should have moved out months ago. AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

I swear i was soo happy earlier too, i ate my yogurt out on the front deck in the sun with my dogs near by there's still snow on the ground but with the sun i was warm in my t-shirt. uhhh i need to go meditate or something.

 

[Spazz04]

OK so i want to go camping a lot this summer and try to "live off the land" so i tried not eating to see if i could maintain my energy. It's been almost 24 hours since my last meal. I had about 10 baby carrots last night. but that was it. I went for a run today and feel a little less energetic. so i had a Go-Crunch yogurt. Now im full and have my energy back so it'll be interesting to see how long i can last on little food. I figure its better to try this out while im 20' from the kitchen rather than 20 miles from my car.. lol


it's almost summer time.. buh-yah!

 

[Spazz04]

I Have Rainbow stickers in the mail to on their way to me.
I can't wait to add them to my water bottle ... are their JUB stickers out there? i saw shirts.. and where would you go about getting one? ill have to investigate. Anyways i was just feeling like posting my bf is snoring very loudly and i can't sleep and i have mostly been thinking of placing those rainbow stickers on my water bottle. Thank you YNOT very much and YNOT's brother a big thank you to him as well.

Here's a song for you all and goodnight



and LMAO!

 

[Spazz04]

Summer is almost hear. I have been looking up all the trails i want to hike/bike on (http://www.akhs.atfreeweb.com/index.htm) and i know a few i would like to revisit... and a few general area's i want to head off into.

I have been looking for Survial classes they have lots of them up here... NEVER a bad thing to do. Oh i found a new tent i will ask my dealler his pricing. I got a 6 person bahimoth last year and now need something much smaller. (http://www.kelty.com/kelty/products.php?type=8&cat=60&id=133&image=122) she's a beauty... same colors as my Grand Mesa 6 too. only she's under 5lb and easier to strap onto my backpack.

One trail i want to go on is 28 miles, can only be hiked during low tide and you have to wade acrossed 3 rivers and dry off on the other side before continuing.

Anyways im just dreaming a bit here.. i need to get back to work on my paper still have a few weeks of classes before the summer is here.

OH- Look at me the JUB Suporter. Well Mr. Hot Stuff is in my name.. thank you very much. I still haven't found what you can do with this extra title (other than a much lager PM inbox.) But it's damn cool! (thats #4 dancing guys )

 

[Spazz04]

well my Nalgene water bottle contains BPA... but it doesn't phase me cause i have too many priceless stickers on it to not use it.. plus:

"We continue to believe that Nalgene products containing BPA are safe for their intended use," Steven Silverman, general manager of the Nalgene business, said in a statement. "However, our customers indicated they preferred BPA-free alternatives."

Oh and I guess camel packs are bad for you as well. well until I find a new "safe for now" alternative ill be using that as well. Yes I will be more cautious washing out and not drinking stagnate water from the bottles but i think it's fine.

So anything using a #7 plastic I guess you shouldn't drink from. Cause it contains "bisphenol A" which may or may not be harmful to folks.

I would say just be cautious when using them... that lid has hit me in the eye so many times.. It should be taken off the market oh wait is has been.

 

[Spazz04]

SPAZZ04 - In Snow ( April 25th, 2008 )

I am not a morning person so i had to drag myself out of bed to get into town to design some page layouts for my folks company. I watched my 2 year old niece for a few hours and helped with little tasks around the house. Towards the end of the day i was noticing it was snowing a heck of a lot for April.. so i had to brush off the foot or so on the car and fight traffic and all SLOW people driving 15-20 MPH on the Glen Highway it's 65... grr a little snow and people forget how to drive. Anyways never liked that, i have see so many accident cause by the "cautious" drivers. drive me nuts. So than i finally made it home in twice the time it should have taken and was reluctant to see there wasn't much snow on the driveway (like none) TG for southern exposure on the pavement must have retain it's heat from the 55* F previous day. Actually i was excited to put my snow clothes on and jump in the snow so even though it snowed like 2' in Anchorage and only 4-5" at my house i still went out to take this photo.
Sorry for the photo quality - i didn't take the photo. I should have used my wounded tripod.

Hope your all enjoying your Spring too