Spotting bi guys in hiding

[UnderBiCover]

I don't think we bi guys are any different than straight guys or gay guys or girls when it comes to this issue - some people will play games, some people will come right out & tell you what they want - some people like to flirt & toy while others just cut to the chase

I don't think bi guys use any kind of special signals to indicate what we want, at least I've never heard any particular discussion about that - if you're bi on the downlow, you'll be more subtle maybe

sexual parrying is often a tradeoff between confidence & desperation but without knowing more about your circumstances it's hard to make any kind of comment in depth - the guy could just be very friendly or he could be digging you - as you get to know him, you can open more lines of communication

my $0.02 ymmv

 

[12fear99]

I think the more you get to know him by talking with him, you will find out what you would like to know. Especially as he get to know you as well.

At your party I may be more difficult if he does not want people to know because there will others around. But you will never know if you do not try.

 

[bboy121]

i agree with the above poster. tell him you're gay off the bat. that generally works.

 

[cityboi]

Yes, loosen him up with a few drinks and then flirt with him. You may have to be in his face for him to get the hint if he is totally straight. If he is, he may still want to try a new thing.

 

[mj2006a]

I also get confused between friendliness and interested in me. This thread reminded me once in college when a housemate, handsome, cleanlooking, model good looking man, befriended me. I thought he was a closeted gay or bi like me. So was I. Well, I kind of played around the fact that I liked some guys better than girls. He was in shock with that news and I had to do the untalked thing. I pretended he misunderstood. Shit, my heart never beat so fast as that time. What a mess I was putting myself into.

 

[JayHawk]

When I first moved to the south I thought everyone was gay. So damn friendly. I mean I have never walked into a store or stopped to eat and found the male employees damn near bouncing with happiness in the north. After hitting on and then getting the "is that a dick sticking out of your forehead" look I figured out they arent all gay. I also found that really really happy and smiling does not mean they are hittin on you. Damn the luck.

My gaydar is awesome but my two frequency version doesnt always hit the mark. Bi guys are hard to read. Many might be full out gay if they werent so embarassed to be even a little gay. So the gaydar thing doesnt work well.

 

[Lalada]

There's something fun in this game, but at the end of the day you find yourself actually interested in them... it gets a little tiring.

My experience is having met someone that was so similar to me, and clicked with everything as I do, that I just wanted, and I still do, that one more, vital similarity.

So I begin a game, and he's playing his cards particularly well. Eventually though, I need to confront him about my feelings, I'm driven to this by his skill at keeping that secret.

 

[bboy121]

Couldn't agree more.

 

[raph36]

I spot bi-guys hiding behind bushes by using infrared goggles.

 

[hothunk222]

There's something fun in this game, but at the end of the day you find yourself actually interested in them... it gets a little tiring.

My experience is having met someone that was so similar to me, and clicked with everything as I do, that I just wanted, and I still do, that one more, vital similarity.

So I begin a game, and he's playing his cards particularly well. Eventually though, I need to confront him about my feelings, I'm driven to this by his skill at keeping that secret.

I'm going through this exact same experience with a friend of mine, it's ridiculous the amount of innuendo and hinting that is thrown back and forth between us, yet nothing has happened.... I went that extra step after getting tired of the games and hints and told him that I'm bi and wondering if he is also because of all his hints, jokes, and innuendo, but he denied having ever done any of it. UGH!!!! I confessed my feelings to him and we are still good friends, maybe even closer friends.

 

[Lalada]

I'm going through this exact same experience with a friend of mine, it's ridiculous the amount of innuendo and hinting that is thrown back and forth between us, yet nothing has happened.... I went that extra step after getting tired of the games and hints and told him that I'm bi and wondering if he is also because of all his hints, jokes, and innuendo, but he denied having ever done any of it. UGH!!!! I confessed my feelings to him and we are still good friends, maybe even closer friends.

Damn hope that could be me...

 

[hothunk222]

Damn hope that could be me...

LOL... yesterday at night before going to sleep, I texted him that I love him alot, I couldn't help myself, and he texted me back "Aww that is soo cute..." I'm soo confused cause he is just such a sweet guy. I'm just happy that he is still my friend and loves me at least in a friendly way, even after I confessed all my feelings for him. He even told me once, that "how do you think i feel? I wish I was gay! it'd be alot easier for me" I don't think he likes to see me heartbroken over him...