Sticky Situation with a Bi guy

[reinventedboy]

Ok so ive been sleeping with this bi guy recentley. And im sorta to the fact where im wanting more from him. The sex is amazing, He calls me when he wants sex and he comes over and we do it... He's about 19 and very cute... and yeah.. Anyway he has a gf and i think im starting to fall for him badly .... Im also getting tired of the fact that he is only calling me for sex.
What should i do? I dont want it to stop but if i say to him how i feel im afraid it will..

 

[tonyboy]

Man, leave the bi guys alone.
That is if you are certain they are bi.... lots of guys your age call themselve bi cause they haven't figured themselves out yet. Nothing wrong with that, takes some time for some guys. But if you are a true gay guy then you would do best not to fall for someone that hasn't decided he is gay.
Just best not to fall in love with someone that isn't commited to the gay life man. I know it may be tough, but you don't want to open your heart to someone, fall in love, then be hurt? Well, maybe the sex is worth all of that. Only you can figure out the answer to that question.
Tough situation you're in man.... best to you.

 

[justsimon]

The problem isn't that he's bi. It's that he has a girlfriend.

 

[puka-pride]

umm get rid of him.. he will never leave his girl for u.. even if u do tell him...
he just wants it all.... and its fucking with your emotions

 

[RacerX111]

You're just gonna get hurt if you can't keep your emotions out of the mix. Been there done that.

 

[rareboy]

Danger alert. 19 year old bi-guys are toxic. If it were just about the sex and you didn't care, I'd say keep on having fun...but you do care and he probably has some hint of this and the whole thing is now about his ego. Boil some potatoes. Now pick one up with your bare hands.

Drop him as fast as that potato and then go put some salve on the burns.

And by the way, if he can't be anything but an occasional fuck and you're falling hard for someone like this, take a minute or two to re-evaluate why you are letting yourself be used like this.

 

[RRRalph]

If he can't be anything but an occasional fuck and you're falling hard for someone like this, take a minute or two to re-evaluate why you are letting yourself be used like this.

I totally agree. Occasional fuck can be nice, especially when it's very good. The problem is that you are starting to have feelings for him.

You should tell him you have feelings for him and when it's not mutal you should stop having sex with him. It will drive you crazy to be so close (in sex) but yet so far (not having a relationship with him).

 

[Ninja108]

since my bf is bi, I don't think that's the problem. The problem here is he has no problem cheating on someone else he's in relationship with for sex. I highly doubt he'll treat you any better than her

 

[elmysterio]

take a tip from ninja108, he is so totall correct. move on and find someone who feels the same way you do.

 

[RicanDAB]

reinventedboy -- RUN, don't walk from this situation -- you are being used big time and with this guy you will never be anything more than his mistress. And if on some dark day he leaves his GF for you, are you confident he will not find another mistress?

When I considered myself bi, gay guys used to avoid me like the plague, and I never understood why -- but now as a gay man I do understand, and I tend to follow their same mentality. Bisexual men are a complicated species and most gay men would rather not deal with the drama involved. Case in point, this thread.

I would imagine that it would be difficult for guys who consider themselves bi to settle down with one sex or the other. On the one hand, if he settles down with a guy, it's very difficult to be viewed by other people as anything but gay. On the other hand, if he settles down with a woman can he actually live with the fact that he will no longer [should not] pursue male relations? Ideally, the bisexual man would settle down with a bisexual woman - but that's a train wreck in itself!

 

[sixthson]

What he has with you is a f**k buddy. You want more, he does not. Good advice from the above posters. Listen to them.

 

[reinventedboy]

Thanks guys you have helped me decided a couple of things. Next time he calls im gonna say no and see what happens. My problem is that im too attracted to str8 acting guys. Im never really atracted to gay guys.

 

[RicanDAB]

... im too attracted to str8 acting guys. Im never really atracted to gay guys.

What's the difference between the two? Str8 acting IS gay. BTW, I know what you meant, no need to clarify. You're not attracted to effeminate guys ... but I assume that you WOULD be attracted to a masculine guy who is gay? Just because a guy is gay does not always mean he'll act like Richard Simmons or RuPaul.

 

[recuerdeme]

Mira mijo, I was dating a Colombian Doctor who was totally hot. We had some great times. The catch was he had a lover back in Colombia who was waiting for him to get settled down so that he could move to the city and be with him.

I knew all of this upfront and I was cool with it. I got nothing but good things and good sex from this guy. But I slowly started to have feelings. I became jealous of this phanthom nemesis that was in Colombia. I had thoughts of taking actions to make him my guy but I was conflicted about being a homewrecker and being with someone who obviously isn't faithful.

In the end I broke things off. He was really upset and hurt. Which was kind of nice, it made me feel that all the time we shared wasn't only for play, it made me feel that maybe he was caring just as I was. But I explained that I was falling for him and he already had a guy (I didn't give an ultimatum or anything) and although I said I was cool with that, things have changed and it its best we part ways before one of us gets hurt feelings.

I could have stayed with him and continued having great sex and getting pretty things but there are plenty of other fish and the sea and it's best that you find one that isn't already hooked.

 

[Just_Believe18]

You're getting greedy, reinvented boy. You got into a sex partnership knowing the details of his personal life and now you want to cut in and take the girlfriend's place.



I'm not meaning to be too hard on you but you deserve your lust turning your heart into ashes. How do you think his girlfriend would feel if SHE knew? She may have a vagina but she's just as human as anyone else in these "love triangles."

 

[reinventedboy]

OK i think i should shed a bit more light on this...

Firstly, i never intendedly wanted to get with him. The guy is a friend of my flatmates and he reguarly comes over and visits him like once or twice a week.
He knew i was gay, and he said that he had 'gay friends' and didnt have a problem with it.

One night when we were all over at my house together everyone else went to bed early and me and him were up playing the ps2. And he asks if he can crash in my room. Im like... Ok... Thinking about this when we were both lying inbed together i did get an erection (who doesnt when your lying in bed with a hot guy??) and he asked me what sex was like with a guy> I think he was quite horny too and he mentioned that he very rarely had sex with his gf even though he loved her. I became quite aroused when i learned that he was hard and started touching it while we were talking about sex.

NExt thing i knew he grabs my hand and rubs it on his. And then you know he says to me you can if you want. So i did. I felt in my heart that it was wrong but i couldnt give in to temptation... He was quite hot and i did lust after him for awhile.

That once off... turned into once a week. He would call me, and we would arrange to hook up once a week. My needs became greater i think. And than i started to fall for him. Not only because of the sex, because we would have awesome conversations too and we would eat and play ps2 (i love my ps2) lol...

So that's how i fall for him. He's the kinda guy that i yearn fof but unfortunatley he has a gf To be honest with you if he did wanted me int he end i wouldnt mind... but.... I dont think that would happen. I think he'd probably get freaked out and stuff as he hasnt been with many guys (i was his first)

 

[ivyguy24]

The problem here is that he has a girlfriend....

the ultimate decision was made by him..but you know the situation, so you're not totally in the clear either

But what really strikes me is the frequency that he meets you, even though he's in a relationship.

I consider myself bi, but when I'm in a relationship I stay strictly monogamous....not as a sacrifice, but because I don't want to be with anyone else, sex is better when it's with someone I really care about.

He doesn't seem to feel that way. Since the activity is by no means incidental, it suggests to me that he's either more sexually attracted towards men...or I suppose it could be that his sex life with his gf isn't very active. If you feel like you can talk to him about the situation, you could try....you'd run the risk of getting into an awkward conversation, but might help figure things out.

Personally, if I were you I wouldn't have gotten involved with him in the first place. It would have been pretty hard to resist the initial encounter, but meeting once a week seems to be asking for trouble.

 

[SilverRRCloud]

Before you start turning him down, coz a few dudes here recommended you should be doing it, take your time and think hard about it.

You love having sex & spending your time with this guy. His GF is definitely not putting out sufficiently, which makes a horny young guy a very sad, horny young guy.

There is little you can lose now. How about talking with him and telling him how you feel. If this freaks him out and he runs away, cool. You got, what everyone here has suggested you should be doing.

If not, you might be entering into a new and interesting relationship.

So, chew over it, b4 you turn down a hot dude.

SC

 

[simonz]

I have one thing to say to you:
Run!!!

 

[Just_Believe18]

Thank you for clarifying your relationship with him a bit more reinventedboy. I understand how you feel now. You didn't mean to but it just happened. I'm going to have to agree with ivyguy and silvercloud. You may have something good here and maybe this guy might be bi/gay if he isn't even very intimate with his girlfriend. It's a bummer you are doing this behind her back but I understand where you are coming from.