Str8 they react badly after they cum

[BlondeCanadian]

Not to mention the fact you will never ever have a real relationship with these "straight" guys... Sure you might get hurt looking for mr right in the gay community but it is still better than having no morals for anonymous sex with married men....

"Straight" if there having sex with men this just isnt the case

 

[unclaimedblessing]

Part of the cum & go experience is that up to and during sex, straight men are thinking with their dick and want physical satisfaction only.
After it's over the brain starts thinking like "Why did I do that?". There's frequently guilt or shame. Sometimes it's transfered to the "fag" who made me do that. That's when it can get dangerous for the gay participant. It's so similar to the adolescent "He made me do it!" "It's all his fault".

 

[Conflicted]

I've posted here before. I'm straight.

To say these men "aren't really straight" or "in denial" or use terms like "internalized homophobia" is wrong, cause you don't know the exact reasons why these guys are doing what they are doing.

To say because they are gay/bi for engaging in homosexual behavior, is basically saying orientation is defined by the behavior. This isn't true and it's that type thought/generalization that has kept gays, lesbians and bi's down for all these years.

A lot of these men certainly CAN be gay/bi and not able to deal with it, but that doesn't apply with all of them.

A lot of these guys are compulsive sexual addicts, who's addiction has escalated to the point where they seek out gay sex or gay porn to increase the height of arousal. They don't get turned on to it, because they have attraction/desire for men, but the "taboo", "the shamefulness" of engaging in gay sex. The differentness and availability. When a guy like this finds out sex with men is easier to get than sex with women (it is, look at craigslist). They can act out hardcore, yet still not be gay or bi...because their core attraction/desire is for women.

They don't desire the man, they desire the sex act and the high associated with it. This is why when the high ends (with ejaculation), they freak out. It's as if they are "under the influence" when engaging in the act or thinking of it prior.

Romantic/emotional, even physical attraction plays no role for most of them. It's all about escaping and using sex to get a high and moment of relief from whatever deep seeded anxiety they have.

To say these men are either gay/bi, could confuse and complicate them even more. The real issue for most of them, is sexually compulsive behavior and using sex like a drug. Which, obviously leads to engaging in behavior that's not in their best interest.

Note: I used words like "taboo" and "shamefulness". I am not saying homosexuality is either. For a man who's core identity is gay or bisexual, it's natural for him. But to a straight guy with a sex addiction, that's what it is.

Early in my life, I was disgusted by thoughts of sex between men and couldn't entertain the idea for a minute. Yet, I didn't have a whole lot of homophobia in me. I couldn't understand how somebody would want a hairy man over the soft body of a female. All of sexual/emotional/romantic interest was for girls. Eventually, due to all kinds of shit, especially at home...I started jerking to porn like crazy. Eventually, Playboy wasn't strong enough to keep my mind off things and wasn't providing the "escapism" I needed, so I kept getting into more hardcore stuff and fantasies, after awhile that would become boring too.

Then at 26, I find myself in the middle of a sexual orientation crisis after all the cyber sex and gay/bi porn. Wondering how the hell I got to this point. Spent countless hours digging in my past for any clues. Studying images of men and women back to back, trying to figure out if I found men attractive.

Sexual addiction/Porn was (still is) my problem.

 

[Telstra]

I've posted here before. I'm straight.

To say these men "aren't really straight" or "in denial" or use terms like "internalized homophobia" is wrong, cause you don't know the exact reasons why these guys are doing what they are doing.

To say because they are gay/bi for engaging in homosexual behavior, is basically saying orientation is defined by the behavior. This isn't true and it's that type thought/generalization that has kept gays, lesbians and bi's down for all these years.

A lot of these men certainly CAN be gay/bi and not able to deal with it, but that doesn't apply with all of them.

A lot of these guys are compulsive sexual addicts, who's addiction has escalated to the point where they seek out gay sex or gay porn to increase the height of arousal. They don't get turned on to it, because they have attraction/desire for men, but the "taboo", "the shamefulness" of engaging in gay sex. The differentness and availability. When a guy like this finds out sex with men is easier to get than sex with women (it is, look at craigslist). They can act out hardcore, yet still not be gay or bi...because their core attraction/desire is for women.

They don't desire the man, they desire the sex act and the high associated with it. This is why when the high ends (with ejaculation), they freak out. It's as if they are "under the influence" when engaging in the act or thinking of it prior.

Romantic/emotional, even physical attraction plays no role for most of them. It's all about escaping and using sex to get a high and moment of relief from whatever deep seeded anxiety they have.

To say these men are either gay/bi, could confuse and complicate them even more. The real issue for most of them, is sexually compulsive behavior and using sex like a drug. Which, obviously leads to engaging in behavior that's not in their best interest.

Note: I used words like "taboo" and "shamefulness". I am not saying homosexuality is either. For a man who's core identity is gay or bisexual, it's natural for him. But to a straight guy with a sex addiction, that's what it is.

Early in my life, I was disgusted by thoughts of sex between men and couldn't entertain the idea for a minute. Yet, I didn't have a whole lot of homophobia in me. I couldn't understand how somebody would want a hairy man over the soft body of a female. All of sexual/emotional/romantic interest was for girls. Eventually, due to all kinds of shit, especially at home...I started jerking to porn like crazy. Eventually, Playboy wasn't strong enough to keep my mind off things and wasn't providing the "escapism" I needed, so I kept getting into more hardcore stuff and fantasies, after awhile that would become boring too.

Then at 26, I find myself in the middle of a sexual orientation crisis after all the cyber sex and gay/bi porn. Wondering how the hell I got to this point. Spent countless hours digging in my past for any clues. Studying images of men and women back to back, trying to figure out if I found men attractive.

Sexual addiction/Porn was (still is) my problem.

interesting story and thanks for sharing.
So have you done some with guys before ?

 

[Telstra]

Hey!, here is my story:
A friend and I picked up a gay guy in PR and brought him to the room for some optional fun. It was a lot of fun and the guy was good! My friend didn't want to be envolved, just watch; till he couldn't any more and I insisted for him to try it, told him few times to get there and fuck the shit out of this guy, who BTW was enjoing it very much! Now listen to this.... by the time it was 6:30 am I wake up ad my friend is fucking this guy like the first time, except it was the fourth. Waited for the deal to end and while the guy showered told my friend,.."man! what's going on, you been fucking this guy the whole night! you want to take him home? what's with that? Then he sat there, didn't say a word, I walked the other guy to the door thanking him for the good time. Come back to my friend who was crying,... and that's the last sounds I heard from him ever since. We went back home and the frienship is over, not a word, till today, two years so far. Tell you what, I know he's straight, but some people shouldn't play with certain things if they are not sure of something. Don't take it personal, it's a lot in a guy's mind when you can not separate who you are from the things that are fun to you. That's it, my story.

"crying" i wonder what was he thinking?
was he thinking of "poor me because i can't find a girl" ... etc.?

 

[Rex]

I've posted here before. I'm straight.

To say these men "aren't really straight" or "in denial" or use terms like "internalized homophobia" is wrong, cause you don't know the exact reasons why these guys are doing what they are doing.

To say because they are gay/bi for engaging in homosexual behavior, is basically saying orientation is defined by the behavior. This isn't true and it's that type thought/generalization that has kept gays, lesbians and bi's down for all these years.

A lot of these men certainly CAN be gay/bi and not able to deal with it, but that doesn't apply with all of them.

A lot of these guys are compulsive sexual addicts, who's addiction has escalated to the point where they seek out gay sex or gay porn to increase the height of arousal. They don't get turned on to it, because they have attraction/desire for men, but the "taboo", "the shamefulness" of engaging in gay sex. The differentness and availability. When a guy like this finds out sex with men is easier to get than sex with women (it is, look at craigslist). They can act out hardcore, yet still not be gay or bi...because their core attraction/desire is for women.

They don't desire the man, they desire the sex act and the high associated with it. This is why when the high ends (with ejaculation), they freak out. It's as if they are "under the influence" when engaging in the act or thinking of it prior.

Romantic/emotional, even physical attraction plays no role for most of them. It's all about escaping and using sex to get a high and moment of relief from whatever deep seeded anxiety they have.

To say these men are either gay/bi, could confuse and complicate them even more. The real issue for most of them, is sexually compulsive behavior and using sex like a drug. Which, obviously leads to engaging in behavior that's not in their best interest.

Note: I used words like "taboo" and "shamefulness". I am not saying homosexuality is either. For a man who's core identity is gay or bisexual, it's natural for him. But to a straight guy with a sex addiction, that's what it is.

Early in my life, I was disgusted by thoughts of sex between men and couldn't entertain the idea for a minute. Yet, I didn't have a whole lot of homophobia in me. I couldn't understand how somebody would want a hairy man over the soft body of a female. All of sexual/emotional/romantic interest was for girls. Eventually, due to all kinds of shit, especially at home...I started jerking to porn like crazy. Eventually, Playboy wasn't strong enough to keep my mind off things and wasn't providing the "escapism" I needed, so I kept getting into more hardcore stuff and fantasies, after awhile that would become boring too.

Then at 26, I find myself in the middle of a sexual orientation crisis after all the cyber sex and gay/bi porn. Wondering how the hell I got to this point. Spent countless hours digging in my past for any clues. Studying images of men and women back to back, trying to figure out if I found men attractive.

Sexual addiction/Porn was (still is) my problem.

Sorry but if someone is consistently seeking out sex from men, they're either gay or bi. I'm sure some guys can still be straight and have a homosexual experience but they don't tend to happen repeatedly. It might happen once or twice in a straight guy's life but if the person is constantly engaging in sex with men, how can you deny they're not bi at the least? Whether they're getting off on the taboo aspect of it doesn't make a difference in my opinion. I just don't see how a straight guy could get sick of women if they're available to him and seek out sex with men if he wasn't gay or bi.

 

[Conflicted]

Sorry but if someone is consistently seeking out sex from men, they're either gay or bi. I'm sure some guys can still be straight and have a homosexual experience but they don't tend to happen repeatedly. It might happen once or twice in a straight guy's life but if the person is constantly engaging in sex with men, how can you deny they're not bi at the least? Whether they're getting off on the taboo aspect of it doesn't make a difference in my opinion. I just don't see how a straight guy could get sick of women if they're available to him and seek out sex with men if he wasn't gay or bi.

How a person sees themselves has a lot to do with it. Some people just don't identify with the bi label.

We're not talking about normal, well adjusted guys here, either. We're talking about men dealing with a lot of mental/emotional problems, sexual addiction, trauma due to sexual abuse, etc.

What is bi anyway?

To me, a true bisexual is a person that experiences emotional/romantic/sexual attraction and desire for both sexes. Maybe not equal, but when all of those feelings can be had for both sexes. Since these men we're talking about see the behavior as a means to an end, I wouldn't label them bisexual.

Meaning he find himself having crushes and "checking out" the female cashier at the supermarket, while also dreaming of his male co-worker or guys at the gym.

The men I talk about, aren't like that. Their romantic/emotional/sexual attraction is for women. The "sex" with men is just that, and often acted upon on compulsion. They are attracted to the behavior, not men as people.

My views on bisexuality might not be favorable to many. Bi is used by a lot of different people, for different reasons...and all too often people label other people it.

A girl who kissed another girl on a drunken dare will declare herself "bisexual".

A guy who just enjoys gay or bi porn from time to time, or even shemale porn will label himself "bisexual".

A gay man who had past relations with female might label himself "bisexual". Or vise versa for a straight man.

A LOT of gay man confess to using the bisexual label, when in fact they knew they were gay (Elton John).

I think a lot of so-called bisexuals are sexual addicts, who either have an innate core identity of gay or bisexual. Once they overcome their addiction, they find their true romantic/sexual interest and stop acting out with the same gender.

What this all means is that identity is largely based upon one's own values and how they see themselves, not by what others say they are.

Besides, all these labels are fairly new and nobody has the right to try and tell another person they should conform to one.

 

[Telstra]

Conflicted, your posts makes a lot of sense and makes very interesting reading.

I'm interested to hear more about your "Sexual addiction" and how/when did it started and how do you deal with it.

So what you are saying is when one found true romantic/sexual partner one sexual addiction would be gone correct?.

 

[Conflicted]

Conflicted, your posts makes a lot of sense and makes very interesting reading.

I'm interested to hear more about your "Sexual addiction" and how/when did it started and how do you deal with it.

So what you are saying is when one found true romantic/sexual partner one sexual addiction would be gone correct?.

No. Plenty of sex addicts married or in long-term relationships. They do indeed love who they are with, but are still addicted to porn and acting out.

Relationship problems are of coursed caused by it. Some men are so fixated on porn, they can't appreciate or get into being romantic. After viewing hours, upon hours of pics and videos of ultra sexy women, "taboo" videos...their wives or partners could just seem boring. Sexual addiction is caused by all kinds of reasons, often due related to relationships with other people, so there can be intimacy problems there.

It could complicate matter even more, if such a man is caught by his wife/girlfriend in gay chat rooms, looking at gay porn or even acting out by having anonymous sex with other guys. It could appear he's a closet case, but in reality he could just be a sex addict who's addiction has escalated to that.

These people are not driven by a healthy sexual appetite or are just "horny" every now and then, but by a compulsion. They use porn/sexual acting out as a coping, even defense mechanism. They're addicted to the "high" they feel when engaging in sexual behavior and the orgasm. It's a moment of escapism for them. When they come down from their high (after they cum), their true self and core values take over and reality sets in...which could explain the "cum and goers".

A lot of people would say the true reality is when they're acting out with the same sex and that their true sexuality comes out, but that's not true. Reality is when they got their fix and now have to deal with the guilt and shame of acting out in a way that contradicts their true self and goes against their core values. Which of course, only creates more conflict and anxiety, which of course could and often does leads to more acting out for the sex addict.

My own definition of a "closet case" is a man who KNOWS he is gay, but keeps it secret. He WANTS to be an out and proud gay man, but chooses not to. Maybe for religious reasons, career reasons. Maybe because he married before he came out to himself and doesn't want to ruin his family life.

The whole slew of straight identified guys who confess to being sexual with other men, but also say they're turned off, even disgusted by "kissing" and being romantic with other males. Could you really call them closet cases or insist they are not straight? These men aren't "denying" anything.

Engaging in sex is like being in a trance for them. They give up everything for that "high".

Speaking for myself, I came from a turmoil filled household with lots of screaming and yelling. I was insecure about my looks ever since I overheard a female classmate say I was ugly. This gave me an early sense of "not being wanted" by the opposite sex. My dad was always financially supportive and generous, but we always had a weird, rocky relationship. He was always too busy with his own problems, for me to be able to talk to him about mine and he was overtly critical of me.

Anyway, even at 13/14 I KNEW I was using porn as a way to shut the outside world out. In that sense, I used it like a drug. Like any drug...you require higher, "stronger" doses to achieve an effect.

But for your info, I've only had ONE encounter with another male. A glory hole blowjob (in "real life"). It was totally circumstantial and situational. Had I not lived in a city with porn shops like that, walking past them every day...I would never be able to say I ever did such a thing. I regret it, because it did open a can of worms. I believe it was just an extension of my obsession with sex and a need to behavior in a "dirty" way..not because I was lusting for another male. I felt worthless in the eyes of women, unattractive and even angry towards them..so I had a "fuck it" mentality. I do get urges to do it again, but I don't. Not because I am repressing it, but because I know it will lead to no long term sense of relief. It will only confuse and add more regret...also because, I have a sense that in "real life"...it might be VERY different than in my head or in porn.

It's cheap, meaningless and sleazy and totally goes against who I am to act out sexually with (most likely a married) man from craigslist. Yet, I no desire nor could I ever actually MEET a guy, get to know him and do anything sexual. So it's obviously not for me. I have no interest in that at all nor would I ever want a relationship with another male in that way.

I've started with gay, bi, tranny porn early on, or at least had a "little" interest in it..before I got the net. At first it was curiosity with a little repulsion...

But I always felt 100% straight....never made any connection between my romantic/sexual attraction in "real" life, to what I'd masturbate to in fantasy and porn. I believe we ALL have our innate, core sexual orientation. Straight, bi or gay.....but then many people have interests in certain acts, behaviors, fantasies, porn, etc..that are separate from that.


I've also thought the reason a lot of these guys do it, is because they are actually very much heterosexual. We have the most emotional baggage with the sex we're naturally drawn to, desire and feel for. Thus making sex complicated at times and somewhat stressful. For these guys, there is no emotional feelings when being sexual with other guys. The man is nothing but a prop, a human blowup doll.

 

[Telstra]

yeah to tell who is st8, gay or bi is by what sort of porn he like to watch in private (by himself).

If he likes to watch female bodies, he is str8.
If he likes to watch male bodies, he is gay.
I don't know about bi guy tho, maybe he like to watch both.?

 

[bike10]

There is always a few str8's that show up at the baths wanting to see or engage in some "gay play." They cum and go.

 

[Fucker29]

That's because they're a bunch of drama queens.

 

[Rex]

How a person sees themselves has a lot to do with it. Some people just don't identify with the bi label.

Those are the same people who are usually in denial.

We're not talking about normal, well adjusted guys here, either. We're talking about men dealing with a lot of mental/emotional problems, sexual addiction, trauma due to sexual abuse, etc.

Having a sex addiction is one thing. Having a sex addiction and seeking out random sex with men means you're either gay or bi. Bottom line.

What is bi anyway?

To me, a true bisexual is a person that experiences emotional/romantic/sexual attraction and desire for both sexes. Maybe not equal, but when all of those feelings can be had for both sexes. Since these men we're talking about see the behavior as a means to an end, I wouldn't label them bisexual.

Meaning he find himself having crushes and "checking out" the female cashier at the supermarket, while also dreaming of his male co-worker or guys at the gym.

The men I talk about, aren't like that. Their romantic/emotional/sexual attraction is for women. The "sex" with men is just that, and often acted upon on compulsion. They are attracted to the behavior, not men as people.

It doesn't matter if it's just about sex. A man can have tons of sex with different women and not have any emotional attachment with any of them. Does that mean he isn't straight? No. You don't need to have an emotional attachment to men to make you gay or bi. If you're having sex with them regularly and enjoying it, you're gay or bi.

My views on bisexuality might not be favorable to many. Bi is used by a lot of different people, for different reasons...and all too often people label other people it.

A girl who kissed another girl on a drunken dare will declare herself "bisexual".

A guy who just enjoys gay or bi porn from time to time, or even shemale porn will label himself "bisexual".

A gay man who had past relations with female might label himself "bisexual". Or vise versa for a straight man.

A LOT of gay man confess to using the bisexual label, when in fact they knew they were gay (Elton John).

I think a lot of so-called bisexuals are sexual addicts, who either have an innate core identity of gay or bisexual. Once they overcome their addiction, they find their true romantic/sexual interest and stop acting out with the same gender.

Ok....

What this all means is that identity is largely based upon one's own values and how they see themselves, not by what others say they are.

Yeah, there are tons of bi and gay guys in denial who see themselves as straight. It doesn't make it so just because they see themselves that way.

Besides, all these labels are fairly new and nobody has the right to try and tell another person they should conform to one.

And they shouldn't have to but what it sounds like you're saying is that men can have all the sex they want with other men but that doesn't make them gay or bi, which is mind numbing and ridiculous. I agree that labels aren't always a good thing but this all sounds like some kind of denial thing to me.

 

[monk66]

I totally agree with u arabb.....its stupid thinking that a str8 guy can be blow by other guy or that they r going to have sex with us someday...a REAL str8 guy likes woman , thats the thing they r atracted just to females....and when a supposed str8 guy is checking out guys or he went drunk and had a sexual encounter with a man ....come on people!!!! One thing is a fantasy and the other the reallity ........

 

[Conflicted]

It doesn't matter if it's just about sex. A man can have tons of sex with different women and not have any emotional attachment with any of them. Does that mean he isn't straight? No. You don't need to have an emotional attachment to men to make you gay or bi. If you're having sex with them regularly and enjoying it, you're gay or bi.

Straight men also have lots of sex with women they aren't even physically attracted to. Which also goes to show that you can engage in sex and not be physically attracted to the other person at all. Look at how many formerly married gay men have had sex with their wives. The fact is, these might enjoy one-night stands with many women...but their romantically and naturally oriented towards women.

You, my friend are wrong. Being gay means have a romantic/sexual/emotional attraction to the same gender. A gay man might not be interested in relationship, but he is natural orientated towards men and being gay is apart of his identity.

These men, in many cases don't actually enjoy it. But act on compulsion anyway. It's like a heroin addiction or any kind of addiction. They don't like using the drug, want to stop and understand why they are doing it, but they do it nonetheless. They like the high of a cheap, NSA anonymous encounter, or masturbating to porn they feel is "taboo" and "shameful" and would shock others if they knew they did it. Not the other man.

They only thing gay or bisexual about these men, is their behavior. Sexual behavior is different than orientation and identity and the behavior one engages in, doesn't always reflect their inborn, natural orientation.

Certainly, many of these guys are in fact gay or bisexual and can't fully except it or don't have all the fact. But many of them, are not.

Bottom line.

The person who wrote the most about this, is Joe Kort. This guy knows what he's talking about and has been a psychotherapist for many, many years and is well respected. He's also GAY and works with gay affirmation therapy too. He knows what he's talking about. Check out his straightguise website and read the blog.

Here is a quote from another website (not written by Joe)

"Whatever is most shocking or guilt-producing for you will have an allure in part because your primitive brain also rewards you for taking risks. So for example, if you were raised around the belief that homosexuality was a ticket to hell or scandal, then homosexual images will produce a very strong neurochemical reaction in your brain. Does this mean that you are homosexual? Not necessarily. Often even men who regularly engage in homosexual behavior (which can be exciting for the same reason that same-sex lovemaking images are exciting) say that they are not gay. They may believe they are just more broad-minded than they thought, but they may actually be unconscious puppets of the brain's primitive reflexes."

This is the last I am posting. I believe what I think and I don't care for the simplistic, black and white thinking of many people.

 

[AngelFromAbove]

Straight men also have lots of sex with women they aren't even physically attracted to. Which also goes to show that you can engage in sex and not be physically attracted to the other person at all. Look at how many formerly married gay men have had sex with their wives.

Comparing closeted gay men to men who randomly have sex with other men is illogical. Those homosexual men had sex with their wives to cover the fact that they were gay. The straight men to whom you refer are still seeking out women, not men, in order to pleasure themselves.

The fact is, these might enjoy one-night stands with many women...but their romantically and naturally oriented towards women.

This does not make sense.

You, my friend are wrong. Being gay means have a romantic/sexual/emotional attraction to the same gender. A gay man might not be interested in relationship, but he is natural orientated towards men and being gay is apart of his identity.

This is a very simplistic definition of attraction. Everyone varies in how he or she feels towards the same and opposite sex. Some people only have one or two of those three kinds of attraction. Does that mean that they are not attracted to someone if they do not possess all three?

These men, in many cases don't actually enjoy it. But act on compulsion anyway. It's like a heroin addiction or any kind of addiction. They don't like using the drug, want to stop and understand why they are doing it, but they do it nonetheless. They like the high of a cheap, NSA anonymous encounter, or masturbating to porn they feel is "taboo" and "shameful" and would shock others if they knew they did it. Not the other man.

I've read a few of your posts. It seems as if you are trying to find some way to rationalize why many men would have sex with other men, outside of the fact that they are simply attracted. A man generally will seek out another man for sex, unless there is some level of attraction. As far as drug users are concerned, that is a faulty argument as the two are incomparable, not to mention drug users usually do enjoy the feelings that they experience while doing them.

They only thing gay or bisexual about these men, is their behavior. Sexual behavior is different than orientation and identity and the behavior one engages in, doesn't always reflect their inborn, natural orientation.

You are correct. Sexual behavior is different from orientation. However, if a man is seeking out sex with another man on a regular basis, then his behavior is giving insight to his orientation.

Certainly, many of these guys are in fact gay or bisexual and can't fully except it or don't have all the fact. But many of them, are not.

Rationally, there is no positive benefit to seeking out sex with another man where there is such a heavy stigma. If one is truly heterosexual, it's highly unlikely that he'll resort to same-sex activities, no matter how horny or desperate. If he does, he won't make an active effort to search for it, when he could search for a member of the opposite sex.

This is the last I am posting. I believe what I think and I don't care for the simplistic, black and white thinking of many people.

It's not a matter of simplistic thinking in this aspect. Honestly, your arguments are faulty as you attempted to correlate sexual addiction and compulsion with same-sex activities. The fact of the matter is there typically has to be some level of attraction to another man to have sex. Other factors may give to more motivation, but attraction is the main motivator.

 

[Diodorus]

It's the sound of their ego cracking..

 

[Conflicted]

I've read a few of your posts. It seems as if you are trying to find some way to rationalize why many men would have sex with other men, outside of the fact that they are simply attracted. A man generally will seek out another man for sex, unless there is some level of attraction. As far as drug users are concerned, that is a faulty argument as the two are incomparable, not to mention drug users usually do enjoy the feelings that they experience while doing them.

I'm only rationalizing men who identify as straight, but show interest in same sex behavior.

You are correct. Sexual behavior is different from orientation. However, if a man is seeking out sex with another man on a regular basis, then his behavior is giving insight to his orientation.

These men seek it out, because it's easy. It's a cheap thrill.

Rationally, there is no positive benefit to seeking out sex with another man where there is such a heavy stigma. If one is truly heterosexual, it's highly unlikely that he'll resort to same-sex activities, no matter how horny or desperate. If he does, he won't make an active effort to search for it, when he could search for a member of the opposite sex.

It's a cheap, quick fix these men seek. Go post an ad on Craigslist for a woman. You will get no replies. Post one for another man and your inbox will flood and you can find yourself engaging in sex within the hour.

A man can drive himself crazy trying to find a woman, but he could also just walk into a porn shop, stick it through a glory hole and get sexual release. You'd have to PAY a woman to do that.

SEXUAL RELEASE is a key term here. That's what these men are usually after. Since sex with men is easier and often has no strings, they do it.

As a gay man, I'm not too sure you'll ever realize how much is required of a man to get a woman.


It's not a matter of simplistic thinking in this aspect. Honestly, your arguments are faulty as you attempted to correlate sexual addiction and compulsion with same-sex activities. The fact of the matter is there typically has to be some level of attraction to another man to have sex. Other factors may give to more motivation, but attraction is the main motivator...

Many of the type of men I talk about, are also men who've found themselves searching out child porn. Are they pedos? No, it's just that their addiction is a sickness and they find themselves in a cycle of needing harder, more strong content to keep them interested. A lot of these men have viewed and gotten off on beastality...does that mean they are attracted to dogs? No.

I'm not at all talking about innately gay/bisexual men, but a fairly large group of heterosexual men who develop interests in homoerotic behavior for a varity of factors, all psychological.

Of course, it's not well known because it's not talked about. We live in a society that larges believes sexual behavior is what defines orientation and things have become so PC, you can't suggest a lot of what I say, because, as proven here...you get attacked and accused of *gasp* it shows that not all men who show interested in such things are in fact gay and their behavior doesn't reflect their innate orientation.

I know it's kind of close to what "ex-gay" therapists say, but there is truth in a lot of it. The difference between me and "ex-gay" therapists, is that I DO believe sexual orientation is innate and I DON'T think all gay men are straights gone bad and should change.

If a gay man can't accept he is gay, he needs affirmation therapy.

If a straight identified man is showing interested in same-sex behavior and doesn't understand nor like it, he needs to find the root of this interest.

If a man says he is straight, then give him leeway no matter what. What if he is? Forcing him to "come out" and make him believe he is in denial could have the same negative effect that gays had to face when they were total they were straight, but just mentally sick back in the dark ages.

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[AngelFromAbove]

I'm only rationalizing men who identify as straight, but show interest in same sex behavior.

Fine. It does not matter how a man labels himself; it still does not change the fact there is a high chance that there is some attraction involved. Plenty of men identify as straight, but they engage in same-sex behavior. It does not men that they have some sort of extreme sexual deviation.

These men seek it out, because it's easy. It's a cheap thrill.

How do you know that this is true? Having sex with another man is not necessarily going to be easy, especially if these men are trying to avoid being publicly known. Again, there are plenty of easy women out there as well. I'll reiterate, the thrill alone is not enough to push a self-indentified straight man to have sex with another man. A thrill for a straight man would be having sex with a woman.

It's a cheap, quick fix these men seek. Go post an ad on Craigslist for a woman. You will get no replies. Post one for another man and your inbox will flood and you can find yourself engaging in sex within the hour.

A man can drive himself crazy trying to find a woman, but he could also just walk into a porn shop, stick it through a glory hole and get sexual release. You'd have to PAY a woman to do that.

SEXUAL RELEASE is a key term here. That's what these men are usually after. Since sex with men is easier and often has no strings, they do it.

As a gay man, I'm not too sure you'll ever realize how much is required of a man to get a woman.

Not necessarily true. Men can be just as picky as women, if not moreso. It's not that hard to find women; you make it seem as if they are so scarce. It's not that hard to find women who will put out either. That's just a poor excuse. Even if one wanted to argue statistics, women outnumber men by nearly 2% worldwide last I checked.

Many of the type of men I talk about, are also men who've found themselves searching out child porn. Are they pedos? No, it's just that their addiction is a sickness and they find themselves in a cycle of needing harder, more strong content to keep them interested. A lot of these men have viewed and gotten off on beastality...does that mean they are attracted to dogs? No.

Where did pedophilia enter this argument. First, it was sexual addiction, then sexual compulsion, now it's pedophilia? You are just trying to find so many different reasons why a man would seek sex with another man. If these men are indeed seeking out child pornography or beastiality, then those are different attractions that are separate from homosexual or bisexual attractions.

The key words are seek and search. These men are actively looking, which means it is more than coincidental. There's a difference. As far as the aforementioned men, they had other kinks, fetishes, or attractions anyway. Seeking out men does not lead to seeking out pedophilia or zoophilia.

I'm not at all talking about innately gay/bisexual men, but a fairly large group of heterosexual men who develop interests in homoerotic behavior for a varity of factors, all psychological.

Obviously, these men had a genetic predisposition towards same-sex attraction or behavior on some level anyway. The set of genes just were not active and it took a certain event or multiple events to trigger it. Also, there are many people who are simply repressed and refuse to acknowledge there attractions; a man may say he is straight, but that does not mean that he's never had some attraction to men all along.

Of course, it's not well known because it's not talked about. We live in a society that larges believes sexual behavior is what defines orientation and things have become so PC, you can't suggest a lot of what I say, because, as proven here...you get attacked and accused of *gasp* it shows that not all men who show interested in such things are in fact gay and their behavior doesn't reflect their innate orientation.

Your assertion is still weak. Yeah, these men are not gay, they are bisexual to some degree on some level. Let me reiterate, a closeted homosexual man who has sex with women is different from a self-proclaimed heterosexual man who has sex with other men. One's behavior exhibits a need for acceptance or possibly fear while another gives insight into his orientation.

I know it's kind of close to what "ex-gay" therapists say, but there is truth in a lot of it. The difference between me and "ex-gay" therapists, is that I DO believe sexual orientation is innate and I DON'T think all gay men are straights gone bad and should change.

When it comes to human beings, it's often not as simple as just nature. There are often multiple factors involved.

If a straight identified man is showing interested in same-sex behavior and doesn't understand nor like it, he needs to find the root of this interest.

If a straight man is interested in same-sex behavior, he needs to find the root of his repression. A straight man is not going to seek out another man.

If a man says he is straight, then give him leeway no matter what. What if he is? Forcing him to "come out" and make him believe he is in denial could have the same negative effect that gays had to face when they were total they were straight, but just mentally sick back in the dark ages.

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Unlike some others here, I do not give people the benefit of the doubt all the time. People lie to others as well as themselves all the time for various reasons. Why would something which is as stigmatized as homosexuality, especially male homosexuality, be a reason not to lie about one's true orientation?