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"Straight acting" is pejorative

paintact

paintact

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I so feel ya.

I loathe the term "straight-acting". How 'bout just saying - masculine. Makes a lot more sense to me...and shows that being a 'guys guy' is certainly something that gay, bi, and straight men can all be if that's who they are.
 
The 'straight acting' myth has been discussed in this forum many times over the past years and there are many people here who believe that all gay men are queens at heart. They firmly believe that gay men walking about in public who can't be pegged as 'gay' are simply repressing their gay mannerisms (i.e. 'acting straight') and switch into active 'queen' mode the moment they step through their doors back home.

I don't 'act straight'. I'm just being myself. The simple fact of the matter is, I can't 'act gay'. I can't do the voice. I can't do the walk. I can't do the hands. I can't do any of it. I really don't know how to.
 
Open minded people in general (not just in Europe, this is coming from a Montreal perspective) seem to realize that gender roles are pretty much socially constructed and that everyone has degrees of masculinity and femininity to some extent.

But I agree with the OP - it's a very stupid term. I doubt half the men that use it even know what the word pejorative means though - they aren't exactly the gay community's brightest and most creative group.
 
I think the utility of labels is underrated. While I see how we can get better with this whole assimilation and self-hate mess, I find that trying too hard to protest labels actually stifles some people's self expression rather than enhances it. I find some people that opt to use the "alternative" men who like men label instead of gay, for instance, find themselves more conflicted than those who say gay as blanket term but have some urges for women. Same with girls. I liked this girl that was so damn confused about her sexuality, and it would have helped to just use the damn term "bisexual" from time to time.

I get that we don't want to people all our eggs in one basket, but if we run around with all our eggs in our arms, they're gonna break.

I think there are just as many evils in saying straight acting as in saying masculine as in saying average. It could come across as self hate in different forms. I think the WAY in which these terms are used (straight = better) could stand to be corrected more than the usage themselves (a series of behavior more commonly associated with straight people).

Don't get me wrong. I HATE the ATTITUDE around the term straight acting, but c'mon, we need a term for it. The behavior of straight acting people is more commonly associated with straights, and that won't change whether or not we say masculine or passing.
 
Seems many confuse straight with masculine when in fact two men together is inherently more manly than a man with a woman, not to mention the fact that most gay men I've known personally, even many of the bottoms I scored, are more masculine than most straight dudes I've seen.
 
It's sounds like online advertising to me. I mean, it is not exactly something people say to each other in real life, is it?

*struts out of this thread like John Wayne calling Jason a pilgrim.
 
I describe myself as a masculine bottom which gives the other guy sufficient information about me for him to decide if he wants to make contact. Yes, the is for hookup site advertising.

Masculine simply means having qualities traditionally ascribed to men. As others have already stated, I don't act any particular way. I am just being myself.
 
gsdx said:
I don't 'act straight'. I'm just being myself. The simple fact of the matter is, I can't 'act gay'. I can't do the voice. I can't do the walk. I can't do the hands. I can't do any of it. I really don't know how to.
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I'm definitely not the most masculine guy on the planet, but I don't consider myself to be "straight acting", either; if a guy was attracted to other men and enjoyed sucking a dick, you'd probably say he was acting pretty gay, right? :p


With that being said: The GLBT movement is so quick to say that they celebrate diversity, yet many gays have difficulty accepting that the gay community is made up of millions of individuals, who're free to be themselves regardless of whether anyone likes it or not. I absolutely respect you for being who you are as an individual, but if you tell me that i'm "self-loathing" because I don't act the way society expects a gay man to act (outside of the bedroom), then. . .well, I don't know what to say, honestly.



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Seghers said:
Maybe I'm wrong on this one but it seems to me that the whole masculine (and straight acting) vs feminine debate is more of an American phenomenon. I don't know, but here in Europe it seems that masculine gay men aren't scrutinezed in the same way for their masculinity, feminine guys are more accepted as well and more people seem comfortable with just being neither.
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Eh, I don't know; I talk to a lot of people from Canada, Britain and Australia and they'll tell you that feminine guys still get a lot of shit there, too. I think the only difference is that straight Americans take homosexuality as a personal insult, while people in other parts of the world think more along the lines of "I may not like you for who you are, but it doesn't really affect me."

I'll give you an example:

When America featured the first gay kisses on prime time television, many people wrote in and complained: "This will affect all of our children and will make them want to be gay!! Let's start organizations to protect marriage as between one man and one woman!!". Meanwhile, when a gay kiss is featured in a BBC drama in Britain, a lot of guys I know there said that they'll look away from the TV or get grossed out, but THEY DON'T COMPLAIN OR BOTHER ANYONE ELSE WITH IT; The good majority of them simply turn the channel and go on with their lives.
 
Nomenclature said:
I think the only difference is that straight Americans take homosexuality as a personal insult...
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This appears to be, at least in my experience, very accurate. Here in America there is a tendency by straight people to feel in some way offended by the very presence of homosexuality in the world, where people tend to take an attitude of "how dare those gay guys do that to me! :grrr:" Do what to them exactly? Well, that's pretty much what us gay people have trying to figure out. It's as though the presence of homosexuality in their vicinity somehow draws attention to their own homosexual tendencies/desires/etc. This probably explains why so many studies have shown homophobic people to be more aroused by homosexual acts than straight non-homophobic people.

Sadly, this attitude has leaked to gay people themselves, in an attempt to avoid differentiation from the general population. People often try overly hard to appear "straight" and thus identify as "straight-acting" in order to avoid comparisons to gay stereotypes. Maybe it's just me but I think it's idiotic for a gay man to identify as "straight-acting" when, in fact, the only "acts" that they perform to make them gay are relations with other males. All other acts are what make them human. BIG difference.

Personally, I exist somewhere around the middle between masculinity and femininity as far as my physical actions, personal interests, and many of the things I say, probably leaning more to the masculine side. Does that masculinity make me somehow straight acting? Well I guess it could if those leanings to the masculine involved having sex with women, but since it doesn't, no I am not straight-acting. Not at all. That's just dumb. I act like Sean, and that's all I'm going to act like. It takes way too much energy to pretend to be someone else and, ultimately, you run the risk of losing who you really are, underneath the bullshit facade.
 
It's only a pejorative if you are a PC sensitive asshole. Just like Midgets call normal size people "average".

Don't give other people power by being offended by words, worry about sticks and stones instead.
 
newguyj said:
It's only a pejorative if you are a PC sensitive asshole.
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I am not a "PC sensitive asshole", but I take serious offence to some people in this forum who insist that I am merely 'acting straight'. There is no acting involved. It's the only way I know how to be. Anything else would be a lie.
 
I strongly dislike the term 'straight acting.' I used to hate seeing 'Straight-acting male here, not into flammers' on dating websites. You are on a gay dating website for crying out loud! What kind of self proclaimed straight guy goes onto a gay dating searching for cock? Hmm...sounds gay to me.

'Masculine' seems to be more approriate as people take that as the 'average' or traditional male. It is assumed that all straight males are masculine :|
 
Mikami said:
Both terms are thrown around a lot even when people aren't even trying for an 'act'.
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Yes, they are, but I, for one, don't appreciate being told that I am being something or someone other that what or who I am. It has happened before in threads similar to this one and it is happening at this moment in another thread. Being told that I am someone other than who I really am is tantamount to calling me a liar.
 
gsdx said:
Yes, they are, but I, for one, don't appreciate being told that I am being something or someone other that what or who I am. It has happened before in threads similar to this one and it is happening at this moment in another thread. Being told that I am someone other than who I really am is tantamount to calling me a liar.
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I don't think it should matter to you.
 
The main problem I have with the term "straight-acting" is the word "act". It implies a sham or a pretense, and nearly every time, that isn't the case.

I prefer the term "flying under the gaydar". :D

Lex
 
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