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Straight buds jealous of BF

FootballMuscle

FootballMuscle

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My buddies and best friend (who are straight) are starting to get jealous of the time I've been spending with my boyfriend. I admit it's getting more often and I'm beginning to neglect them, even though I love hanging out with them.

They want me to be happy with my bf and they think he's a "straight" guy (meaning a straight shooter or a decent person). But it seems like they want things to go back to how they were before I had a bf.

Is this a common problem? How do you guys maintain a balance?
 
That is a problem that everyone has, straight or gay.

New relationships often take up alot of our time. Eventually the honeymoon wears off and you will each settle into more of a routine. But until then, try to agree that each of you spend a day with your buds, not eachother.
 
HartfordGuy said:
That is a problem that everyone has, straight or gay.

New relationships often take up alot of our time. Eventually the honeymoon wears off and you will each settle into more of a routine. But until then, try to agree that each of you spend a day with your buds, not eachother.
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Well said.
 
Eventually, the buddies get their own boyfriends/girlfriends and start spending more time with their partners, too. The problem goes both ways,...

Furthermore, working gloom sets in, too coupled with your usual daily grind. Mortgage has to be earned and paid for, too and this goes for the other bills as well.

So, yeah, some friendships stay, but the days of the late teens' early 20's exuberance are over only too soon.

SC
 
They're right. You just need to find your balance. If they are true friends, they'll support your relationship as soon as you balance out. How long have you been dating your bf? If it hasn't been too long, your friends might still be trying to get used to your relationship with your bf.
 
This is a common problem. I'm currently jealous of my boyfriend's straight friend. I wish the role's were reversed like in your situation.
 
Would they feel the same if he was your gf?

Why not try to include your bf in the activities with you other friends.

Who knows, they might end up liking him as much as you.
 
hmmm...

Why can't everyone hang out together?

Hang out with your buddies, and your bf at the same time. :D

Or tell them to get girlfriends...
 
HartfordGuy said:
That is a problem that everyone has, straight or gay.

New relationships often take up alot of our time. Eventually the honeymoon wears off and you will each settle into more of a routine. But until then, try to agree that each of you spend a day with your buds, not each other.
Click to expand...

Very well said...I have been on the end of a friends new relationship and it is hard at first but things will settle down and they will be fine.
 
This is something that is a common complaint for single straight guys- when a friend gets engaged, gets married, has children...etc, the other friends feel like they have been abandoned or that they aren't as important as the girlfriend, wife, children...

It's quite amazing to hear a story where it is a same sex partner that is making the single straight friends feel abandoned.
 
Fortunately, my bf & I don't have any friends outside the work place. We are not social rats so when we get off work, we're together again.
 
Thanks for the advice, everybody.

I suppose I should be more grateful for having my friends totally support me being gay. It's all come at them quickly in the past few weeks I suppose--finding out I was gay and then hearing about my bf.

I think it's hard for them because they see me as keeping the group together. If you guys watch Entourage, my best friend compared me to Vince in our group... haha if only that was the case. So when I'm not around (and I always was before), they see their own social lives suffer.

rareboy said:
Would they feel the same if he was your gf? Why not try to include your bf in the activities with you other friends. Who knows, they might end up liking him as much as you.
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It seems like they would accept my bf a lot more if I had a gf instead.

I always thought males could easily become friends with all other males (at least from my experiences growing up). I've tried bringing my bf around to have everyone mesh, especially since they think he's a decent guy. But I could tell the group didn't want him to join, as much as I wanted him to.

So I guess I'm left dividing my time between all of them: Fridays at the bars with them, Saturdays with him, and football Sundays with them again. We'll see how it goes.

Thanks again, dudes.
 
Fridays at the bars with them, Saturdays with him, and football Sundays with them again. We'll see how it goes.
Click to expand...

Well, given that you want to spend twice as much time with the buds as with the boyfriend, I can pretty much tell you how this is going to turn out.

Do you plan to do this for the rest of your life?
 
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