Straight but unsure...

[evanrick]

w/e u will have way more fun w another man n when you do tell us about it =D

 

[southernnfratty]

Hey guys

So it's been a while but I figure telling yall about what's been going on the last few months would... I dunno, help?

So there's this guy who knows about me. I guess I'm going by the whole "bi" thing now, even though what Matt said about labels had some great points (thanks for the long response bud I sure did appreciate it); I guess it's just a way to "order things", I dunno. But long story short he's a good friend and I told him I'm bi and he was perfectly okay with it. And the reason is...

...he... kinda came out to me that he's bi too. The same night that I told him and everything. I guess it was nice to have someone to talk about it with. The hardest part is that well I've kinda had a thing for this guy for a long time lol. And I think hes had something for me too, he's sure acted like it in the past, what with choice comments and even some of his actions (which i wont bore you guys with).

But thing is I think we're too close friends to end up doing anything. That sounds dumb and its eating away at me but I can't change that. Sucks cause like... I dunno I figure it'd be cool to have someone to explore things with. I broke up with my girl at the beginning of this past summer but we hooked up on and off and then got back together in July and I dont wanna cheat on her or nothing. I feel guilty talkin about this and being in a relationship with a girl (hell talking like this and being in a relationship with anyone is wrong in my opinion) but what can you do I guess.

Sorry to seem like im ranting. I guess all I wanted to say is thanks to everyone for helping me figure all this stuff out. im pretty comfortable with identifying as bi now and maybe ill start being more open about it with some of my closer friends. so yeah... thanks guys!

 

[Halifaxboy8]

Hey guys

So it's been a while but I figure telling yall about what's been going on the last few months would... I dunno, help?

So there's this guy who knows about me. I guess I'm going by the whole "bi" thing now, even though what Matt said about labels had some great points (thanks for the long response bud I sure did appreciate it); I guess it's just a way to "order things", I dunno. But long story short he's a good friend and I told him I'm bi and he was perfectly okay with it. And the reason is...

...he... kinda came out to me that he's bi too. The same night that I told him and everything. I guess it was nice to have someone to talk about it with. The hardest part is that well I've kinda had a thing for this guy for a long time lol. And I think hes had something for me too, he's sure acted like it in the past, what with choice comments and even some of his actions (which i wont bore you guys with).

But thing is I think we're too close friends to end up doing anything. That sounds dumb and its eating away at me but I can't change that. Sucks cause like... I dunno I figure it'd be cool to have someone to explore things with. I broke up with my girl at the beginning of this past summer but we hooked up on and off and then got back together in July and I dont wanna cheat on her or nothing. I feel guilty talkin about this and being in a relationship with a girl (hell talking like this and being in a relationship with anyone is wrong in my opinion) but what can you do I guess.

Sorry to seem like im ranting. I guess all I wanted to say is thanks to everyone for helping me figure all this stuff out. im pretty comfortable with identifying as bi now and maybe ill start being more open about it with some of my closer friends. so yeah... thanks guys!

Look at it this way: You have a friend that you can confide and talk with now who understands your situation. You may find him attractive, but that doesn't mean you can't still hang out and do what you've always done. You can still respect your gf and maintain a friendship with your bud.

I think its a great opportunity for both of you to get comfortable with yourselves. He just came out, so did you. I imagine there is a lot to chat about, finally, after all that time of keeping it inside. Its an exhilarating feeling to be able to share what you've kept a secret for so many years, to speak it out loud to someone and not fear ridicule. I think you need a friend you can do that with more than you need a quick romp in the hay with guilt afterwards.

Also, to play devil's advocate..

You and your gf broke up, then were on and off, and now you are on. How is that going? Sometimes when a relationship breaks up, then it gets rocky, the reasons for getting together seem to be for sex (because its easy and familiar) and habit. By habit, I mean, when people have been together for a while, and the relationship erodes to the point where you break up, some people stay together just because its easier to keep doing what they've been doing for a while rather than parting ways. Is that where you are at now? If it is like that, then you may want to think about what is best for you and your gf. I know its an entirely other issue aside from your main point of your blooming sexuality, but it is something you should look at honestly.

 

[Bi Married Male]

Wow..Mattclaimer summed things up very well. I totally identified with a lot of what he said. I am bi. I lead a very straight lifestyle. Married and love my wife and straight lifestyle very much. Can get my dick hard with any woman in nanno second. I also enjoy sucking a masculine guys cock too. Being bi, every once in a while I have to secretly get it out of my system . I do it and then it is back to reality for me. I am a good husband and provider for our lifestyle. I regret that I am secretly bi, but that's who I am. I don't ever want to hurt anyone ever and I play safe. I am good for a long while until the urge occurs again. I cannot ever see myself in a gay relationship. I am turned off by effeminent men too. When I was in high school a good male friend confided in me that he was gay. I secretly was bi too ,but couldn't admit this to him. I wish I had. I lost touch with him. Thank god for jub...sometimes all my postings take care of my urges and it prolongs the actual need to have a cock in my mouth...I can honestly say I make the best of both worlds work....

 

[TXSunsetEagle]

Growing up I'd always loved girls. In high school (and college) I went on dates, had multiple girlfriends, hooked up with girls, had sex, what have you.... but I've always had a thing for guys. I can't explain it. I used to never be able to see myself with a guy, but I'd watch... yknow certain movies and stuff that had dudes in them, and I'd think about guys, and I guess I always figured that it would go away after a while but it never did. Thing is, in those "movies" thered never be any explicitly gay stuff, i.e. I'd watch only solo videos and if a movie featured fucking I'd change it. Or... and this sounds really bad so I'm sorry if I offend anyone, if the guys looked too stereotypically "gay"... maybe a better word is feminine... I'd change it. I dont know I just never got into the gay sex / overtly gay thing. Thing is, I love straight porn and couples fucking, but I never watch solos with girls or lesbian porn... there always has to be a guy in it.

I've dating this girl on and off for about a year now, and while its great (both the sex and the emotional part) and I really care about her, something's missing. Even when we're intimate, at first it starts off great and we're just really into each other, but after a while my mind trails off and I start thinking about guys. And then I have to start thinking about guys to keep my woody haha. Which just confuses the fuck out of me (and probably my dick too lol).

Dude you're not alone out there. I'm the EXACT same way (like 99.8%) except my girl happens to be 600 miles away and the whole long distance thing fizzled out at the end of the summer because I didn't want to tie her down when I moved back to campus. (I'm out in Texas so living in the central part of the state and home being far west texas it really does tear at you a bit). The best thing to do is take it on a day by day basis and not label yourself at all (as already pointed out earlier). The bad thing is, here I play on an athletics team for my University so anything that isn't straight is strictly frowned upon. The guys on my team are homophobes so I'm stuck having to joke along with them to fit in. But the important thing is, is find a good friend to talk about all this stuff with and maybe experiment (which you may have according to the earlier post) but be careful who you trust. Cause there's always that slight chance of y'all getting in a fight and he spreads stuff about you (which has happened to me). If you ever need to talk or anything PM me man, it really can get pretty hectic out there.

 

[Vallin]

I SEE 3-SOME!!!! (White bread and dark meat filling...yummmm!)

 

[orton86]

I completely understand where southernnfratty is coming from. I grew up in the south, and it was really hard for me to truly accept who I was for a while. Things started to get easier after I broke down that mental barrier. I tried my hardest to like girls in college, but I always ended up thinking about dudes when I was horny.

In my opinion, you need to take a long break from dating girls. Just let it all play out and see what happens.

 

[Cleland]

Here's what you do...find yourself a gay therapist (no, he's not going to come on to you). Shop around if you need to, build up some trust in him. Then tell him what's on your mind and I am sure he will be helpful, confidential and help you learn about who you really are and what you want from life. Best of luck. Happy landings!

That is such a great idea. I never thought of that.

 

[bangthisbi]

I have had nothing but 100% bisexual feelings my entire life, but I've never had sex with a man. When I was your age, I had the same worries that you have now. I didn't want anyone to know that I was bi. I was actually your age when I started dating my ex-wife and I was with her for almost 20 years. We have kids and they are my world, but I only did the marriage thing because that's what I was "supposed" to do. If I had a chances to go back in time and do things over again, the second time around would be much different. Instead of jacking off while fantasizing about sex with guys like I did in high school, I start having actual sex with guys in high school. I would never marry my ex again if given a second chance. I would only marry a woman that was supportive and involved with my bisexuality. I would become involved with the bi community so I could be around people that understood me.
Basically, I think you should act on your sexual desires and enjoy yourself before you start having the same regrets I have.

As far as a relationship with a guy, ny views have changed. I used to think it would make me gay. I know better now. If I meet the right person, I dont care if they are a man or a woman.