Straight guy attracting "straight" dudes

[texan_slant]

Hey, good luck. I applaud you for your confidence, sense of style, and trying to just be "you".

Family isn't easy, and unfortunately, your cousin's fiance, is, in essence, family now. It sounds like you feel you've already done what you could do to alleviate the situation with him personally. It sounds like there is nothing else to do but to either avoid him, or be cordial at family gatherings.

If you weren't confident in yourself, you wouldn't have gotten into your industry, and it almost sounds like you're constantly having to "defend yourself", which also comes with the territory of being a stylist. Stand your ground. Others shouldn't be judging you for "something you're not," and if they are, so be it, cuz actions speak louder than words, and if you're straight, the truth will always comes out in other ways (i.e. relationships, dating women, etc.).

Sinec there are relatively easy ways to avoid the bride and groom, I still think you that you should attend the wedding, though it is ultimately your choice. It really depends on whether or not you intend on making a stronger effort towards your cousin, or not. If not, this all might be senseless.

 

[latinfashionguy]

I'd like everything to work out. They are pretty secluded from the family as well, the wedding will be the only time I need to see them. I'm sure the actual wedding will be fine, but the reception I'm sure he'll discuss how they met, and I'm the reason they met. Anyways, it's been a bad situation from the beginning. I'll probably visit a few times before the wedding and if he pulls this crap again - I'll tell him I'm seriously considering not going to the wedding if he can't respect me, and that will be it.

Last thing, they also took me out of the wedding after telling me I was going to be in it - and I was supposed to walk with a girl I've always had a thing for. I think that's just mean personally.

 

[AllMan]

^^^^^Why did they take you of the wedding? Did they give you a specific reason or anything?

Also if you visit them before the wedding and he does the same stuff again---I would demand respect from him and tell him enough is enough. But I wouldn't tell him I am not going to the wedding----you need to sit down with your prima in a serious, one-sided converation, and tell her all the stuff that's been gong on and how her future husband makes gay passes towards you. Tell her it makes you feel uncomfortable and it's very disrespectful, so don't be surprised if she doesn't see you at the wedding. Tell her it's nothing against her, and you wanna support her----but you will not allow yourself to be demeaned in the process.

 

[itsmeagain]

Go to the wedding.
Tell the bride and groom separately and well before the wedding, if he starts embarrassing you, you will leave. Period.
Then, -this is not a bluff-, if he is a shit, just quietly leave. No scene, simply leave.
Be prepared, this could get ugly, no matter what you do.
Good luck...

 

[JNewYork]

I reread the whole thread again. I guess this issue interests me because I grew up with macho brothers and cousins.

The power is with you. If you don't want to go, really don't want to go, then don't.

What have you got to lose by not going? You hate her fiance (with GOOD reason), and now that they are to be married you will never have a close relationship with her anyway.

They unofficially disinvited you from being a part of the wedding party with no explanation, after having asked you, so I'm rethinking this whole situation.

My new stance here is DON'T GO.

Really, fuck this asshole jerk, and your cousin is a bitch for having asked you to be in the wedding party and then not saying anything to you about it afterwards.

Don't go. If you're family asks why, say you don't like either one of them.

Then move on with your life.

 

[itsmeagain]

I reread the whole thread again. I guess this issue interests me because I grew up with macho brothers and cousins.

The power is with you. If you don't want to go, really don't want to go, then don't.

What have you got to lose by not going? You hate her fiance (with GOOD reason), and now that they are to be married you will never have a close relationship with her anyway.

They unofficially disinvited you from being a part of the wedding party with no explanation, after having asked you, so I'm rethinking this whole situation.

My new stance here is DON'T GO.

Really, fuck this asshole jerk, and your cousin is a bitch for having asked you to be in the wedding party and then not saying anything to you about it afterwards.

Don't go. If you're family asks why, say you don't like either one of them.

Then move on with your life.

Well said.
You know, playing "grab ass and bag tag" is one thing.
This guy is being violated sexually by this asshole.
It pisses me off!

 

[latinfashionguy]

^^^^^Why did they take you of the wedding? Did they give you a specific reason or anything?

Also if you visit them before the wedding and he does the same stuff again---I would demand respect from him and tell him enough is enough. But I wouldn't tell him I am not going to the wedding----you need to sit down with your prima in a serious, one-sided converation, and tell her all the stuff that's been gong on and how her future husband makes gay passes towards you. Tell her it makes you feel uncomfortable and it's very disrespectful, so don't be surprised if she doesn't see you at the wedding. Tell her it's nothing against her, and you wanna support her----but you will not allow yourself to be demeaned in the process.

From what I heard - one of his nerdy stooge friends wants to stand up with that girl. He literally has friends who act as stooges for him. So they took me out of it...could be a few reasons. I'd be willing to walk down with one of the other girls, but they know I'd prefer not to. If I walk down with that girl, it could look very powerful. We're both in excellent shape and I'm significantly more attractive than the groom, and she's significantly more attractive than the bride.

I think it's a combination of those two reasons. My cousin told me in summer she was going to pair me with that girl because we'd look cute (she was single then, lives in a different city now although not too far away). Then got all silent about it...I heard nothing for months. Well, I added the girl to facebook recently, appears as if she is taken now, but I'm still the guy for her. If she still is taken wedding time, especially if she brings him, I may not even care to go.

The other reason they took me out of the wedding party - the husband to be simply doesn't like me, that's why he acts the way he does, which is also very possible.

 

[AllMan]

If I walk down with that girl, it could look very powerful. We're both in excellent shape and I'm significantly more attractive than the groom

The other reason they took me out of the wedding party - the husband to be simply doesn't like me

That's your answer right there papi

The fiance (husband) sees you as a serious threat (appearance-wise). You are everything he ever wanted to be, your look good, you're not overweight, you dress well, etc-----so he know's he'll never look like you although he wants to look like you; and his only defense mechanism is to hate what he can't have or what he can't be like.

It's the same in the straight word---this one chick I worked with was soooooo cool to me at first, but she thought she could have mind control over every man she came in contact wth. Once she figured out that I wasnt't falling for her schemes, she started acting differently and mean towards me. It's sociology pa, there is something about you he wants, or wants to be like---and since he knows that he wants to be "straight" then his only defense mechanism is to be mean to you, so that he won't get too nice to you and possibly have a "gay" encounter

 

[JNewYork]

the husband to be simply doesn't like me,

And you've been disinvited from the wedding party by the bride to be.

And you're going to even consider going to the wedding? You're going to even consider having anything to do with these people ever again?

I'd tell the fucking cunt that you're not going because you're insulted they disinvited you from being part of the wedding party with no explanation. Tell her in a makeshift RSVP card. Get one from the store and check off WILL NOT BE ATTENDING.

Then write why very briefly. You may also add on the card that the husband to be is never nice to you, so you're going to be very upfront and honest.

 

[latinfashionguy]

That's what I plan to do...and I'll tell others in the family the truth about what happened. It could cause some problems within the family. As for removing me from the wedding party - could of been his idea, but after I moved there things weren't the same with my cousin anymore. She always took his side in arguments as well, even when he was blatantly wrong, like telling me to clean up after him in the kitchen all the time, when none of it was mine. I told them both I pay them rent, I'm not a servant, but they didn't understand, and I really thought she would.

 

[latinfashionguy]

I will most likely do that, unless things change, and that will have to come from them, which I don't see happening. As for being removed from the wedding party, I'm not sure if that was his idea or hers as well. It wasn't the same with her after I moved in. She always took his side, even when he was blatantly wrong about things, and always defended his stupidity & ignorance.

 

[Thumper01]

Wow! What a lot of trauma in three days of postings.

latinfashionguy, send a very nice gift, and a very nice card.

If any one asks why you did not attend the wedding, state that you have severe reservations about the groom. "In good conscience, I cannot make an appearance as a show of support for the marriage." And stop there.

Thumper01