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straight guy who is in need of advice

Firstly, I'd not worry about giving yourself a label for now - it only confuses matters.

Secondly, is it definitely a guy that you want up you or simply 'something' up there so that you can experience the sensation. If it's the latter, as has been suggested, could you introduce a 'strap-on' into your sex life with your girlfriend? Or maybe use a dildo on yourself.

If it's a guy, I know the first time I had anal, I made sure that I could trust the guy to take it at my pace, and to respect the fact that it was my first time and not to lose his patience with me. That trust happened because we'd been friends for some time.

You've said you don't want the emotional attachment so the 'trust' you seek has to come from another source. A good idea that has been mentioned is going to an escort service.

Your other option is the bars, and build a friendship with someone there - but as Dio pointed out with his post, would you be able to trust that person not to brag about it, and for it to find it's way back to your friends and aquaintances? That is a risk you take with one-nighters where you haven't got the time to build the trust (which is why the escort service might be the better option).

At the end of the day, you don't have to rush into it, and taking the time in being friendly with a gay or bi guy to the point that you would trust him to satisfy your curiousity isn't going to hurt - but a bad first time experience could, both physically and emotionally.
 
So the question is,how much do you trust?[/QUOTE]

that is the question i don't think i can trust anyone.
 
quasar said:
Firstly, I'd not worry about giving yourself a label for now - it only confuses matters.

Secondly, is it definitely a guy that you want up you or simply 'something' up there so that you can experience the sensation. If it's the latter, as has been suggested, could you introduce a 'strap-on' into your sex life with your girlfriend? Or maybe use a dildo on yourself.

If it's a guy, I know the first time I had anal, I made sure that I could trust the guy to take it at my pace, and to respect the fact that it was my first time and not to lose his patience with me. That trust happened because we'd been friends for some time.

You've said you don't want the emotional attachment so the 'trust' you seek has to come from another source. A good idea that has been mentioned is going to an escort service.

Your other option is the bars, and build a friendship with someone there - but as Dio pointed out with his post, would you be able to trust that person not to brag about it, and for it to find it's way back to your friends and aquaintances? That is a risk you take with one-nighters where you haven't got the time to build the trust (which is why the escort service might be the better option).

At the end of the day, you don't have to rush into it, and taking the time in being friendly with a gay or bi guy to the point that you would trust him to satisfy your curiousity isn't going to hurt - but a bad first time experience could, both physically and emotionally.
Click to expand...


yea i decided im waiting a year. i am going to wait a year to do anal with another dude. i have a girlfriend and i would feel guilty and a jerk if i did that. of course our relationship is rocky and i do suspect her of cheating but i have to respect my relationship with her. until then i decided not to pursue any sex other than my girlfriend. i wanna thank you guys for your insight, time for responding and your guy's considerations. stay safe stay 2nd amendment
 
LGNTexas said:
I was a virgin when I got fucked at age 24. Be careful because overnight I realized I preferred sex with men. I had just broken up with a girl friend who lived in Carl Sandburg Village on Chicago's near north side. I wanted to get drunk and stumbled into my first gay bar, unknowingly, because there was a parking spot in front on Clark Street. I was so naive, didn't realize it was a gay bar until I realized no women were there and drinks were being sent my way, gratis! But I enjoyed all of the free drinks and attention...a new experience for me. The bartender was so butch, a bodybuilder in a leather vest, I thought he must be straight, just taking a job in a gay bar to make a living. He was giving me free drinks, too. At 4 a.m. he locked me in the bar while he counted the cash. He parked my car in an alley so it wouldn't be towed, and took me to his apartment overlooking Lincoln Park saying I was too drunk to drive to the suburbs and he wanted to protect me. I took to the sofa he had promised me, but awoke the next afternoon in his bed getting fucked. Since I was asleep when he penetrated me, there was no pain and it felt great so let him finish and I came without touching myself! I've been gay ever since!
Click to expand...


Hahahaahaha


And the moral of the story is...
 
stevexxx said:
like i said before i am not a feminine gay freak nor gay i dont know what i am. but hey whatever
Click to expand...

Well, whatever happens, maybe don't put this into your ad. At least, not verbatim. You might end up ruffling feathers more than anything else.

-d-
 
Have you tried using toys on yourself yet?

Go to Cupids on Halsted. Yes, Boystown. It's really the best sex toy shop in the city and no one is going to bat an eye at a man buying a dildo Or buying some other anal stimulation toy. And lube. Make sure you have lube. Try toys first then decide if you need a real man in there.

Btw, real man is better than toys. Just sayin'
 
stevexxx said:
i consider myself straight but im into anal play. yea that may make me a bi but not emotionally interested in men but not the point. i am seriously considering taking a dick up my ass and yes i am an anal virgin. but how do you know who the right person to do the deed. what i am saying is i do not want to go to craigslist, and hook up with some old fat creep that has every std in the book. i consider myself one classy guy. like i said before i am not a feminine gay freak nor gay i dont know what i am. but hey whatever. i guess i just want to find a guy that will fuck me and this is my first time wanting to find one. but my only question is how do you find that person. of course i want no strings attached at all but i dont want some craigslist guy you know what i mean. how did you guys find the person that fucked you for the first time.
Click to expand...

My advice from my experience:​
1) Stay off the internet. There are good guys out there, but if you don't want to put forth the time to weed through the acres of losers, the internet isn't for you.
2) Go out in your local scene for a few weeks and watch the people. You will be able to find out the easy guys and the good guys, the bottoms and the tops.
3) Don't put out there that you are easy - this tends to draw the people who are more likely infected with whatever than not
4) Unless you are SUPER HOT, most people that approach you immediately probably aren't the type of person you want. Probably. There is something to be said about individuals being humble in the gay/bi community
5) Don't be afraid to get to know people in your local scene. This way you can get to know "of" people in your area (which is better than not knowing anything at all)
6) Don't rush into it. Use toys until you find the right guy. This way you can get some experience. Also, this will help you be able to appreciate the real thing when it happens!
7) Don't put too much emphasis on your first time. Let what happens happen. Don't use porn to judge the real world. Don't be too nervous and enjoy it when it happens

Follow these steps and you will be A LOT less likely to regret your first time.
 
connermt said:
My advice from my experience:​
1) Stay off the internet. There are good guys out there, but if you don't want to put forth the time to weed through the acres of losers, the internet isn't for you.
2) Go out in your local scene for a few weeks and watch the people. You will be able to find out the easy guys and the good guys, the bottoms and the tops.
3) Don't put out there that you are easy - this tends to draw the people who are more likely infected with whatever than not
4) Unless you are SUPER HOT, most people that approach you immediately probably aren't the type of person you want. Probably. There is something to be said about individuals being humble in the gay/bi community
5) Don't be afraid to get to know people in your local scene. This way you can get to know "of" people in your area (which is better than not knowing anything at all)
6) Don't rush into it. Use toys until you find the right guy. This way you can get some experience. Also, this will help you be able to appreciate the real thing when it happens!
7) Don't put too much emphasis on your first time. Let what happens happen. Don't use porn to judge the real world. Don't be too nervous and enjoy it when it happens

Follow these steps and you will be A LOT less likely to regret your first time.
Click to expand...

thank you for the advice man. but the part of Chicago i live at are really conservatives. the local scene is very catholic if you know what i mean. meaning there are not any gay or bi people in my local area. but thanks for the advice buddy
 
ChicagoNormalGuy said:
Have you tried using toys on yourself yet?

Go to Cupids on Halsted. Yes, Boystown. It's really the best sex toy shop in the city and no one is going to bat an eye at a man buying a dildo Or buying some other anal stimulation toy. And lube. Make sure you have lube. Try toys first then decide if you need a real man in there.

Btw, real man is better than toys. Just sayin'
Click to expand...



so im guessin' you know from experience
 
Everyone should know about Cupids :lol:

They have some scary window displays sometimes.
 
maybe you can ask your gf to get a strap-on :) ?
 
LGNTexas said:
I was a virgin when I got fucked at age 24. Be careful because overnight I realized I preferred sex with men. I had just broken up with a girl friend who lived in Carl Sandburg Village on Chicago's near north side. I wanted to get drunk and stumbled into my first gay bar, unknowingly, because there was a parking spot in front on Clark Street. I was so naive, didn't realize it was a gay bar until I realized no women were there and drinks were being sent my way, gratis! But I enjoyed all of the free drinks and attention...a new experience for me. The bartender was so butch, a bodybuilder in a leather vest, I thought he must be straight, just taking a job in a gay bar to make a living. He was giving me free drinks, too. At 4 a.m. he locked me in the bar while he counted the cash. He parked my car in an alley so it wouldn't be towed, and took me to his apartment overlooking Lincoln Park saying I was too drunk to drive to the suburbs and he wanted to protect me. I took to the sofa he had promised me, but awoke the next afternoon in his bed getting fucked. Since I was asleep when he penetrated me, there was no pain and it felt great so let him finish and I came without touching myself! I've been gay ever since!
Click to expand...

Why is it that I have a hard time believing this story?
 
Yeah , some good advice so far ,
Dont worry about labels .
You know what you want and you've taken the first step to finding it !
Here's my take on it .
Get yourself a dildo and have some practice .
stay online and make it clear what you are looking for , you can do " SKYPE " to see who you are talking to , stick with your guns till you find what you want !
Hope your first time is as good as mine was :D
I was thirty before i admitted to myself that i needed a Real Cock up me , got in contact with a man on "connections " and had an awesome time !:D
 
stevexxx said:
thank you for the advice man. but the part of Chicago i live at are really conservatives. the local scene is very catholic if you know what i mean. meaning there are not any gay or bi people in my local area. but thanks for the advice buddy
Click to expand...

I live in a conservative area too but I will bet there are more gay or bi people than you think - they are just not going to advertise it.
 
stevexxx said:
thank you for the advice man. but the part of Chicago i live at are really conservatives. the local scene is very catholic if you know what i mean. meaning there are not any gay or bi people in my local area. but thanks for the advice buddy
Click to expand...

Chicago is huge, just go to grant park or up north. don't even have to go to a bar in some areas, just go to the gas station, or grocery store. make eye contact. chicago is very gay friendly in certain spots, and its so big going to one part is like going to a whole other city.
 
My advice to you would be to grow some balls and at least drop the straight routine on a site. You're gay.
 
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