straight guy who is in need of advice

[arpeggi]

It seems to me that if you were merely interested in anal play, and not men, you would just get a butt plug. I would suggest this, as have others. I started using a butt plug a few months before having a penis in me because I wanted to be prepared for one. I'm glad I did because it made me want the dick even more. I tried getting fucked a couple times before I started with the butt plug, and it was too painful and just didn't work out. I started with a small one and then to one a bit larger. Eventually I had a boyfriend who I literally had to force myself on top of because he wasn't confident in doing it, but it was nice. This was best because the two of us ended up doing many things neither of us had done before. We aren't really together anymore, but after the three months we were together we came of the relationship experienced and confident. I hardly ever use the butt plugs now.

I must say, to immediately seek a man to have anal sex with you, without first considering other options, seems to suggest you have an attraction to men, or at least penises, especially if you're more comfortable asking a man to play with your ass than your girlfriend. Have you watched gay porn? If not than you should, it's fantastic!
I could be wrong, but if you do have an interest in men, go ahead and explore it. Chat with someone on Manhunt for a while, or meet them for a beer to see if they're attractive and sympathetic to your needs. If by chance you feel the desire to kiss, as you previously stated you don't want to do, just give in to it. The whole purpose of the experience is to explore your sexuality. Don't do anything you aren't comfortable with, but don't repress urges out of fear of being gay or bi. Once/if you realize enjoy it, you'll be glad you did. You might not even figure it out right away and question it still after your first or second experience, and that's okay too.

 

[cocksucker4use]

Well, since you're very specific in what you want, I'd suggest you look for an escort. Not a hooker, but someone with a good reputation. Someone you can trust will do the deed, take the money and leave.

You should go look for respectable sites, maybe Manhunt?

Dude, this is NOT a bad suggestion. Here's the deal. The whole fuckin world is full of bottoms...dudes wantin to take it up the ass....trust me. Dunno why...(well, yeah, cuz it is amazing!) Butt, to your problem. Any more, a lotta guys in the bars and all over are hot lookin, gym buffed, straight acting and masculine thru and thru....til they throw their legs up in the air.....SO, the ADAM for ADAM thing is viable...but, like craigslist, some of em are liars and who knows what. IF you go to an escort, you will get what you want. A hot, healthy dude...with a condom and a HARD DICK...(the other issue)....spend a coupla hundred...get fucked up the ass...the dude will KNOW how to do your virgin hole right...and will be considerate, clean, attentive, but appropriately so....and fuckin get out. He doesnt' even have to come in the condom if you don't want him to..just fuck yer azz and get you off..better for him to stuff you and move on to another client, no doubt....AND you have some control over the dick you will be takin....You go to the bar, you dunno unitl you waste the whole nite....then get back with .....4 inches? OR....10 x 8...oof. Escorts have full frontal pics flaccid and erect... Take length over girth.....condom and prolly some silicon lube...it is the slickeriest...lol...and Bend Over and take it like a MAN....

 

[GiacomoPisani]

i'm not attracted to females and i don't find the female body attractive at all.but i just want to eat a pussy.i fell a strong craving for that,but i don't consider myself heterosexual,not even bi.go figure.....

 

[GiacomoPisani]

I was a virgin when I got fucked at age 24. Be careful because overnight I realized I preferred sex with men. I had just broken up with a girl friend who lived in Carl Sandburg Village on Chicago's near north side. I wanted to get drunk and stumbled into my first gay bar, unknowingly, because there was a parking spot in front on Clark Street. I was so naive, didn't realize it was a gay bar until I realized no women were there and drinks were being sent my way, gratis! But I enjoyed all of the free drinks and attention...a new experience for me. The bartender was so butch, a bodybuilder in a leather vest, I thought he must be straight, just taking a job in a gay bar to make a living. He was giving me free drinks, too. At 4 a.m. he locked me in the bar while he counted the cash. He parked my car in an alley so it wouldn't be towed, and took me to his apartment overlooking Lincoln Park saying I was too drunk to drive to the suburbs and he wanted to protect me. I took to the sofa he had promised me, but awoke the next afternoon in his bed getting fucked. Since I was asleep when he penetrated me, there was no pain and it felt great so let him finish and I came without touching myself! I've been gay ever since!

mmmmmm? i don't know what to think about this story,it sound like science fiction to me

 

[stevexxx]

Here's another suggestion: Find a M/F swinger couple in which the guy is bi. That might present an opportunity to experience being fucked in a low-pressure, "I'm not gay because there's a woman here" sort of way. (You know what I mean.)

Yes, you'll probably have to look at personal ads on Craigslist (just search for "mw4m" in the Casual Encounters section) or some similar site. But you WILL find something ... just set up a meeting at a neutral site first. As a bonus, there's a very good chance they're disease-free if they play strictly as a couple; still, use protection.

By the way, as a college student, you should have no trouble finding couples willing to meet with you. Many swinging couples who want to add a man to the equation prefer meeting with younger guys. And you'll probably get to enjoy the wife as a bonus. The only question, really, is what's your age limit?

Cheers,
DL

thanks dude for your advice, but don't want to anymore. the potential consequence does not justify the means in my opinion.

 

[ChicagoNormalGuy]

thanks dude for your advice, but don't want to anymore. the potential consequence does not justify the means in my opinion.

For now, at least.

You'll wander back again.

I mean, gee whiz, you're still looking at this forum.

 

[acheilles]

thanks dude for your advice, but don't want to anymore. the potential consequence does not justify the means in my opinion.

The potential consequences? Come on Steve. The only real potential consequence here is that you will end up marrying a woman and live an unhappy life if these thoughts continue to manifest. If you're curious then man up and try it out. There is no need to make a big deal about it. Ultimately it might not be for you but at least you know you tried it. It's really sad to see straight identified guys that live a tortured life (not saying that you do). I say you should strive to live a happy and fulfilling life. IMO living with doubts is not fulfilling.

 

[stevexxx]

The potential consequences? Come on Steve. The only real potential consequence here is that you will end up marrying a woman and live an unhappy life if these thoughts continue to manifest. If you're curious then man up and try it out. There is no need to make a big deal about it. Ultimately it might not be for you but at least you know you tried it. It's really sad to see straight identified guys that live a tortured life (not saying that you do). I say you should strive to live a happy and fulfilling life. IMO living with doubts is not fulfilling.

dude, i want to get into politics and gay sex isn't acceptable in a political atmosphere. If i choose any other major, then maybe, but ehh most likely not.

 

[acheilles]

dude, i want to get into politics and gay sex isn't acceptable in a political atmosphere. If i choose any other major, then maybe, but ehh most likely not.

Sounds like you're going into conservative politics. Well, I guess we all look forward to you saying gays are bad and then getting caught with a guy HAHAHA! But seriously, isn't that the majority of conservative politicians that fight against the gays? What's sad is the sheer hypocrisy in those situations. If a conservative politician was to say "I support the gays," and then that politician was caught with a guy, no one would bat an eye because no one could say he was a hypocrite. It would be bad if he was married -- but at that point it wouldn't matter if he was caught sleeping with a guy or girl (I'm looking at you Congressman Christopher Lee).

 

[stevexxx]

Sounds like you're going into conservative politics. Well, I guess we all look forward to you saying gays are bad and then getting caught with a guy HAHAHA! But seriously, isn't that the majority of conservative politicians that fight against the gays? What's sad is the sheer hypocrisy in those situations. If a conservative politician was to say "I support the gays," and then that politician was caught with a guy, no one would bat an eye because no one could say he was a hypocrite. It would be bad if he was married -- but at that point it wouldn't matter if he was caught sleeping with a guy or girl (I'm looking at you Congressman Christopher Lee).

Lol, no i like gay people. they are funny and i find them to be genuine people. i know these lesbians that love each other and i'm like cool. i have nothing against gay marriage nor homophobic.

 

[Yves Grey]

yea i decided im waiting a year. i am going to wait a year to do anal with another dude. i have a girlfriend and i would feel guilty and a jerk if i did that. of course our relationship is rocky and i do suspect her of cheating but i have to respect my relationship with her. until then i decided not to pursue any sex other than my girlfriend. i wanna thank you guys for your insight, time for responding and your guy's considerations. stay safe stay 2nd amendment

I admire your fidelity and your consideration on your girl's part, stevexxx. I think it important to honor one's obligations, to see them through to the end, and I am glad to see you doing so.

As for trying anal with a man, I cannot offer any advice of better value than what has already been offered. I think your approach is good--you may come to yet other realizations or understanding between now and then.

As for labels, if you have any reservations there, I wouldn't worry too much about it. They're a load of bullshit. Of course, that does not mean that they are innocuous. People's thoughts, feelings, and beliefs often govern his actions, sometimes to hurtful ends.

Life is risk--every breath you take. That's what time and future mean for us as humans: uncertainty. Often, what needs to be done is to determine the risk and whether the payoff would be worth it. You also have to determine whether it would be doable to manage the fallout if it didn't pan out favorably.

I think you know yourself well enough, and have made a good choice.

Let's continue to learn and grow, and not only with regard to sex!!!

 

[syoBsUtsuJ]

Quit posing and posturing ... you have all the answers to everything.

 

[Yves Grey]

i consider myself straight but im into anal play. yea that may make me a bi but not emotionally interested in men but not the point. ...

I like this, stevexxx.

I consider myself gay, but have the occasional hankering or "heterosexual tendency." That's misunderstood a lot, it seems, though it makes perfect sense to me: I am gay because I only connect romantically with men; I am bisexual because I connect physically with men and women. Enough said.

 

[Yves Grey]

Have you tried using toys on yourself yet?

Go to Cupids on Halsted. Yes, Boystown. It's really the best sex toy shop in the city and no one is going to bat an eye at a man buying a dildo Or buying some other anal stimulation toy. And lube. Make sure you have lube. Try toys first then decide if you need a real man in there.

Btw, real man is better than toys. Just sayin'

Inclined to agree.

 

[versatileplayer]

If you want a guy to fuck you and not kiss you - there are millions of candidates - even in the gay bars.

I think you're working with some stereotypes of what gay guys are -

If you really just want hard core fucking - stop in a leather bar - and you'll get it.

If you're in Chicago - head over to Steamworks and inside of an hour you won't be a virgin anymore.

yea im not into the gay bar scenes. i dint know that is a little to "gay" for me. nothing against homosexuals it's just not me. i do not have an attraction for men, only sex. and when i mean sex i mean anal. no kissing because i find it kinda weird. i come to the realization that i am not immortal and someday that i will die. not tomorrow, hopefully not. but i am only young once so why not.

 

[versatileplayer]

I like this, stevexxx.

I consider myself gay, but have the occasional hankering or "heterosexual tendency." That's misunderstood a lot, it seems, though it makes perfect sense to me: I am gay because I only connect romantically with men; I am bisexual because I connect physically with men and women. Enough said.

Screw all the catagories - I say when I want to fuck a women, I will, and when I want to fuck with a guy - I will.....

What does that make me? Bi? Hmm been married to a guy for a long time now - over a decade.... not really interested in a relationship with a woman - in love with my guy - yeah I fuck with other guys and I fuck women.....

I say stick it where you want to and enjoy!

 

[biguy1234]

So the question is,how much do you trust?

that is the question i don't think i can trust anyone.[/QUOTE]
honestly dude. I was in your exact same situation about a year or two ago. I'm not gonna tell you what to do but rather what I did and you can base what you may want to do on that...
I went to a city (Toronto) that was away from where I live. I went to a bar and met a complete stranger whom it wouldn't matter if he bragged or not and basically laid it out for him. I told him I wanted someone to top me, that I considered myself straight & I'd never done anything with a guy before and I want to try and see if I like it (that last part is important to say because gay guys will try their best to please you because they will want to try and win you to their side, especially if you're hot, its just one of those little things we do but will never admit. We dont do it out of any sort of malicious intent but we just like the validation that we're not so different. Or maybe thats just me...) anyway. I also told him where I was staying and exactly what i wanted (I wanted a guy with a big dick, no strings attached, I wanted to blow him for a bit then have him flip me over and pound me doggy style. I told him condoms were a must for the anal part and that he needed to take it at my pace- they know that this means slow at first then pick up the pace once you're more comfortable- even if you dont know thats what will happen yet. And that I wanted him to cum inside me and not pull out and for me to be able to cum without masturbating)
These were my conditions and he looked at me like I had three heads because of how I just laid it all out and basically said, take it (and live up to it) or leave it.

It ended up being the best sex I'd had to date and I've considered myself Bi ever since then. I also need to agree with the other people on here that you need to drop the labels and just go with it. At this time I was still a christian and living under the impression that what I was doing was immoral and since I have dropped the label I realized that sex is sex and everybody does it. And a lot of straight guys want to try it but dont have the balls to go through with it. I also found that once I told everyone I was Bi, it stopped being such a big deal and I was astonished at how little my friends cared (they're all super straight guys into sports and titty bars etc). One of them even asked me if he could try a blowjob with me because guys give better head and afterward he said that every straight guy needs a gay or bi friend they can mess around with in complete trust and secrecy and was happy he'd opened his mind. My point is. People only make a big deal about it if you do...The more you try and hide, the more people will go looking for stuff that isnt there. I suggest you straight out ask a gay or bi friend to help you out and be completely open about it. (If I had of known I could do that I would have done that instead of going to the bar, even though that worked out pretty well too...)

 

[biguy1234]

Have you tried using toys on yourself yet?

Go to Cupids on Halsted. Yes, Boystown. It's really the best sex toy shop in the city and no one is going to bat an eye at a man buying a dildo Or buying some other anal stimulation toy. And lube. Make sure you have lube. Try toys first then decide if you need a real man in there.

Btw, real man is better than toys. Just sayin'

MUCH BETTER...no comparison dude...lol

 

[stevexxx]

that is the question i don't think i can trust anyone.

honestly dude. I was in your exact same situation about a year or two ago. I'm not gonna tell you what to do but rather what I did and you can base what you may want to do on that...
I went to a city (Toronto) that was away from where I live. I went to a bar and met a complete stranger whom it wouldn't matter if he bragged or not and basically laid it out for him. I told him I wanted someone to top me, that I considered myself straight & I'd never done anything with a guy before and I want to try and see if I like it (that last part is important to say because gay guys will try their best to please you because they will want to try and win you to their side, especially if you're hot, its just one of those little things we do but will never admit. We dont do it out of any sort of malicious intent but we just like the validation that we're not so different. Or maybe thats just me...) anyway. I also told him where I was staying and exactly what i wanted (I wanted a guy with a big dick, no strings attached, I wanted to blow him for a bit then have him flip me over and pound me doggy style. I told him condoms were a must for the anal part and that he needed to take it at my pace- they know that this means slow at first then pick up the pace once you're more comfortable- even if you dont know thats what will happen yet. And that I wanted him to cum inside me and not pull out and for me to be able to cum without masturbating)
These were my conditions and he looked at me like I had three heads because of how I just laid it all out and basically said, take it (and live up to it) or leave it.

It ended up being the best sex I'd had to date and I've considered myself Bi ever since then. I also need to agree with the other people on here that you need to drop the labels and just go with it. At this time I was still a christian and living under the impression that what I was doing was immoral and since I have dropped the label I realized that sex is sex and everybody does it. And a lot of straight guys want to try it but dont have the balls to go through with it. I also found that once I told everyone I was Bi, it stopped being such a big deal and I was astonished at how little my friends cared (they're all super straight guys into sports and titty bars etc). One of them even asked me if he could try a blowjob with me because guys give better head and afterward he said that every straight guy needs a gay or bi friend they can mess around with in complete trust and secrecy and was happy he'd opened his mind. My point is. People only make a big deal about it if you do...The more you try and hide, the more people will go looking for stuff that isnt there. I suggest you straight out ask a gay or bi friend to help you out and be completely open about it. (If I had of known I could do that I would have done that instead of going to the bar, even though that worked out pretty well too...)[/QUOTE]

Your right, I maybe afraid of labels but i don't know gay or bi people. i find going into a bar more dangerous. However, i must stay faithful to my girlfriend because it is not fair to her that im going or might try gay sex. we all know what we must do but it's the motivation that is the hard part. i'm just going to stay on this site and read people's stories and the posts. This site has taught me something new about the gay community. i see people's stories and perspectives and i value it. thanks for the advice bud.

 

[stevexxx]

I admire your fidelity and your consideration on your girl's part, stevexxx. I think it important to honor one's obligations, to see them through to the end, and I am glad to see you doing so.

As for trying anal with a man, I cannot offer any advice of better value than what has already been offered. I think your approach is good--you may come to yet other realizations or understanding between now and then.

As for labels, if you have any reservations there, I wouldn't worry too much about it. They're a load of bullshit. Of course, that does not mean that they are innocuous. People's thoughts, feelings, and beliefs often govern his actions, sometimes to hurtful ends.

Life is risk--every breath you take. That's what time and future mean for us as humans: uncertainty. Often, what needs to be done is to determine the risk and whether the payoff would be worth it. You also have to determine whether it would be doable to manage the fallout if it didn't pan out favorably.

I think you know yourself well enough, and have made a good choice.

Let's continue to learn and grow, and not only with regard to sex!!!

Thank you for the compliment