Straight guys who flirt with other guys

[evil_danger]

There’s a cool guy I know, he’s cute, funny and generally a nice guy (plus he’s taller than me, which me being 6ft plus is quite rare, and I love guys who are taller than me, felt safe when he hugged me). When he gets drunk he almost hits on me, well he tells me what a great guy I am, that I’m attractive, funny, cute and also that I would make great boyfriend material.

Just an hour ago we were chatting, I was driving so I was stone cold sober, he however wasn’t. I asked him if he would remember telling me those things, and if he remember telling me them last time he got drunk, he said yeah, he feels the same way when he’s sober, just doesn’t like to talk about it. He also said how he’s actually kinda annoyed by how he is when he’s drunk.

Thing is he also says he’s not gay, he can’t get it up for a guy at all, doesn’t stop me from being quite touchy with him though (wish I was drunk so I could have been more forward, actually prob not a good idea, don’t wanna make him uncomfortable)

My question is, is it wrong for him to be that way with me, he knows I am attracted to guys so is it wrong for him to flirt with me knowing I could buy into it?

Maybe he’s bi-curious, just needs a push, should I say that I do find him attractive see where that goes, he’s not my type relationship wise, but wouldn’t mind getting in his pants.

I think he’s just a flirt, and likes to tease gay/bi guys to flatter himself, but from what he’s told me, he’s really quite shy so maybe not. I would like to think he’s being honest in what he tells me when he says I'm attractive, because I’ve said it’s really quite flattering.

Anyone else know straight guys who get off on teasing gay guys? I don’t see how you can enjoy that kinda thing, but maybe its quite common.

 

[maxpowr9]

apprantly you have never heard the term "three beer queer" before.

 

[theFallenGod]

I am having this same issue...

My neighbour is straight and quite my type.. I won't go into details... we have hung out on numerous occasions and he's confided in me a great many things he hasn't even told his friends that he's known longer...

He knows I'm gay and has never been bothered by it... he's very friendly and cordial whenever we hang out, even around his other friends...

He doesn't know that I have a crush on him but he does flirt a lot with me...

The issue is this though... I consider him a good friend... and the fact that he is straight is NOT the only thing thats keeping me from making any moves on him....

I value his friendship too much to let a lapse of judgment destroy that... because even if he were to ask me to "experiment" with him I would still say no ... because I know that many issues could arise from that one little act...issues that could destroy our friendship...

What happens if he doesn't like it? you may get the blame for "coercing" him into something... he may act like it never happened.... he may even get angry at himself for doing it...

What happens if he does like it? he may hate himself for having those feelings...not ready to accept that part of him ..... he may end up becoming too attached... he may even hate you for making him realize something he tried to not realize....

All these things are bad, especially when it comes to friendships... I personally value his companionship over wondering what if?

 

[Ryuukie]

I've had straight guys (quasi friends) wink at me. One guy called me babe once.

 

[gameboy 11]

apprantly you have never heard the term "three beer queer" before.

That's funny.

 

[Dejajb]

haha yup it is quite common! My best friend always flirts with me, in fact, there was a time where I had fallen for him and thought he was gay aswell. I didn't make a move because i valued our friendship, but now I know he only likes the attention. He now flirts with both my boyfriend and I. lol. its cute in a way =)

 

[evil_danger]

See, this guy, hes not really a close friend, I've not known him that long, but hes got a cute personality. If he were to ask me if I would be up for a bit of 'fun' there is no reason I can think why I would say no. I dont get the feeling he would be nasty about it.

Actually thinking about it, I dunno why I asked if it was common, most of my friends are all very flirty with each other, but then most are openly experimental sexually.

Theres even one straight guy I know who enjoys it when I flirt with him to such a sick degree. Me: "Oh shut up and let me fuck you over a bench" Straight mate: *sigh* "Ill get the lube" hes got a girlfriend and isn't even bi, he just likes the joke.

But yeah, this straight guy who tells me I'm boyfriend material, I only really chat to him when hes/were drunk, so I guess I'm going to have another night out

 

[sonny10305]

I have had a few experiences with straight guys who know I am bi and are very curious about the whole man-on-man sex thing. Some of them are just looking for a quick blow job, others just enjoy the attention they get.
I do love my straight boys

 

[G-Lexington]

Well, you've got three choices. Go forward, stay there, or back up.

Go forward. Next time he's drunk, get him alone, and make a move on him. Put your hand on his knee. See how he reacts. Sex might happen, sex might not. But the friendship will probably be irretrievably fucked. You may force him to confront his gay feelings (or bi feelings, or whatever), but I doubt he'll wake up the next morning ready to start a relationship with you. Most likely, he'll either break it off, or come see you once in awhile for some on-the-downlow sex. Up to you whether that's worth it.

Stay there. Let the sexual interplay continue, knowing that nothing will come of it. If you enjoy it, even knowing there's nothing on the other side, that's fine.

Back up. Tell him about it. "Look, the stuff you say and do are fun, in a way, but they're the sort of things that gay guys do to each other to let each other know that they're interested. Are you? No? Well, then can you back off just a scosche? You're starting to get my wires crossed." He'll probably back off more than you want, and it'll take some time to find a new happy medium.

Lex

 

[backpacker]

Guys who play games are such bores. I doubt he's totally straight. Next time just totally ignore him and leave him pissed off.

 

[Ellybelly909]

I lived with five guys in college and they were all "ladies men." My roommate Dave was so good looking that people thought he was stuck up. Actually, he was a bit quiet/shy. He was also tall, dark and handsome. He had a sister who was an out lesbian and he was cool with that so, I told him I was bi (wasn't sure back then). Dave was 6'3 and I am about 6'0. Dave has the greenest eyes and a swimmer's build. He is/was the nicest guy. We got along very well and he teased me a lot. One time, he had gotten out of the shower and had his bath robe on, but open. I went into his room and he started a conversation about how big his dick was--8 inches easy. I could see that he was half hard. I walked over to him and slapped under his dick and it flipped up and he loved it. His robe fell off and we rolled around on his bed, his huge hard dick rubbing against my stomach. "We better not!" he said. Much to my dismay, he got dressed and we walked with our other roommates to the commons for dinner. I still loved to look at his spectacular body and he didn't really care. He teased me, but not in a bad way really. We had an intramural basketball team and my roommates and I would shower together afterwards and Dave and I always ended up next to each other. He was usually hard and I would usually stare...wow, he was hung and very hot.

 

[Inwood]

More and more I think the younger generations see homosexuality as a non-issue, and the lines get blurred more as straight men become more and more comfortable around us.

My youngest brother is 20, and he has no problem being the only 'breeder' in a crowd of homos. He loves the attention he gets, and truly enjoys the company of my friends. We've had many heart-to-heart conversations, and he's told me in no uncertain terms that he has never had a desire to be with a guy, even if only to experiment. He sees homosexuals for who they are -- people with everyday lives, and doesn't look on others in a different light because of their homosexual label. I trust that he's telling me the truth.

If a person says they're completely straight, then you should respect that and not make a move unless THEY make the first move.

It is interesting to see how the pendulum has swung in the other direction. Years ago, straights were telling us "oh, you just haven't met the right woman yet" and here we are playing the same game with them.

 

[evil_danger]

Well, you've got three choices. Go forward, stay there, or back up.

Go forward. Next time he's drunk, get him alone, and make a move on him. Put your hand on his knee. See how he reacts. Sex might happen, sex might not. But the friendship will probably be irretrievably fucked. You may force him to confront his gay feelings (or bi feelings, or whatever), but I doubt he'll wake up the next morning ready to start a relationship with you. Most likely, he'll either break it off, or come see you once in awhile for some on-the-downlow sex. Up to you whether that's worth it.

Stay there. Let the sexual interplay continue, knowing that nothing will come of it. If you enjoy it, even knowing there's nothing on the other side, that's fine.

Back up. Tell him about it. "Look, the stuff you say and do are fun, in a way, but they're the sort of things that gay guys do to each other to let each other know that they're interested. Are you? No? Well, then can you back off just a scosche? You're starting to get my wires crossed." He'll probably back off more than you want, and it'll take some time to find a new happy medium.

Lex

I think I'll try a subtle go forward approach, I kissed one of his fingers that he burnt on a candle, felt no sign of resistance.

So plan is, get drunk, see if he minds mild groping, If I try it subtly moving forward, then I can always go for the stay there option if all goes wrong.

Maybe when I'm drunk I'll just whisper "I know you dont fancy dudes, but you must fancy a blow job?" OMG that would be totally out of character for me.

I'm not going to ignore him like vetteboi says, thats just nasty, and he done nothing wrong, at the very least hes given me some hope that people do find me good looking. Bit of flattery never hurts.

 

[slickery]

Those kind of straight friends are the best. One of my really good friends will even come out to the gay bars with me. He said he actually prefers it sometime, much cheaper drinks. He'll even hold my hand and pretend to be my boyfriend if need be.

Besides the point those kind of people are the best to have around as they are obviously completely comfortable in their sexuality and pass absolutely no judgement upon anyone. If only more people could be like that.

Although their mentality shouldn't be taken advantage of as someone will obviously end up very embarrassed.

 

[Inwood]

Those kind of straight friends are the best. One of my really good friends will even come out to the gay bars with me. He said he actually prefers it sometime, much cheaper drinks. He'll even hold my hand and pretend to be my boyfriend if need be.

Besides the point those kind of people are the best to have around as they are obviously completely comfortable in their sexuality and pass absolutely no judgement upon anyone. If only more people could be like that.

Although their mentality shouldn't be taken advantage of as someone will obviously end up very embarrassed.

I couldn't agree more. Why is it so hard for gay men to realize that there are some straight men who happen to be 100% comfortable around us? If he's said he's straight, HE'S STRAIGHT! Just because he's a flirt and lets you be touchy/feely around him doesn't mean its an invitation to get him drunk and take advantage of him.

Honestly, I don't know what gets into you guys sometimes.

 

[evil_danger]

I couldn't agree more. Why is it so hard for gay men to realize that there are some straight men who happen to be 100% comfortable around us? If he's said he's straight, HE'S STRAIGHT! Just because he's a flirt and lets you be touchy/feely around him doesn't mean its an invitation to get him drunk and take advantage of him.

Honestly, I don't know what gets into you guys sometimes.

I know, I know, trust me I know what you mean.

I'm not used to it, used to playfull flirting, but not used to anyone saying I'm "sexy" and "great boyfriend material" Its very confusing for me. And really hes only said he "cant get it up for a guy" its just I know I'm reading between the lines and getting the wrong message, but its almost like hes looking for the right guy to practice with, or testing the waters.

But I just got curious about the whole straights flirting with gays thing.

 

[3nipples]

I couldn't agree more. Why is it so hard for gay men to realize that there are some straight men who happen to be 100% comfortable around us? If he's said he's straight, HE'S STRAIGHT! Just because he's a flirt and lets you be touchy/feely around him doesn't mean its an invitation to get him drunk and take advantage of him.

Honestly, I don't know what gets into you guys sometimes.

I fully agree.

You'd think that gay men would have a better understanding of the male. Just because a guy is straight doesn't mean he doesn't have any emotions or the need to express affection.

I think it's lame for gays to label straights as closet cases or tease/flirts as soon as they don't fit the straight stereotype.

 

[evil_danger]

I fully agree.

You'd think that gay men would have a better understanding of the male. Just because a guy is straight doesn't mean he doesn't have any emotions or the need to express affection.

I think it's lame for gays to label straights as closet cases or tease/flirts as soon as they don't fit the straight stereotype.

I'm not labeling him as a closet case, I just think its wrong for him to tease if there is nothing behind it. Its not done in a joking friendly way like I am with my close friends, Its done in quite a personal one on one private way, he'll take me aside and tell me that I would make a great "boyfriend" and that I'm "Sexy" in the same line as saying "I dont do guys" thats just cruel really.

 

[3nipples]

he'll take me aside and tell me that I would make a great "boyfriend" and that I'm "Sexy" in the same line as saying "I dont do guys" thats just cruel really.

How is that cruel? He's paying you a compliment and making sure you understand that he's not coming on to you. I think you're the one with the problem, not him...

 

[evil_danger]

Update: (for those interested)

Tonight, me and this so called 'straight' mate of mine got drunk, a few friends did a social gathering (house party) only 7 of us there, but it was fun.

I got a bit touchy with this ‘straight’ mate, put my foot to his crotch a few times as we were sat with our legs between us. He was saying how when he’s drunk he’s probably 25% homosexual. A female friend of ours said, "you should totally kiss" he said "I don’t have a problem with that", I nodded the next thing I know I have his tongue in my mouth. All I could hear from my friends was “oh my god! Look at that!” I was kinda in shock; I hadn’t been snogged like that in 2 years, and never from a guy.

My best friend was kinda in shock, she still thinks of me as an innocent little boy, not any more!

He said I was a better snog than his last girlfriend, I said “I’m not too sure, I didn’t really expect your tongue in my mouth, can we do it again” So we snogged again and I can say being ready for it is a much better experience than just having it forced in your mouth.

He told me he was straight, and that he was just using me to work out his sexuality, I said that it was really good of him to tell me that, and that I was probably just using him to get some action, we both hugged on this and snogged yet again!

I lost count after a while, just before I left he pushed me to the wall and snogged my face off, then I walked out the door, turned round and yelled out “oh fuck it!” grasped his head and really kissed him back, even got a bit of groping going on.

1st proper snog in 2 years! Although stubble rash is a new thing to deal with.

Still a bit drunk even after a sobering 30min walk home, I’m off to sleep with a big smile on my face… and soar lips!