Straight London man with new gay urges

[LukeK]

Until recently I have considered myself completely straight. I am an exhibitionist and I love to be seen naked by willing people, including men, but that is as far as anything has gone.

Recently things have changed. I have started to watch porn of men sucking each other off and I have been turned on by it. I have watched male strippers being felt up by men in the audience and I have fantasised about being a stripper and men putting their hands all over me. I have started to want to touch and be touched by another man.

This change in my sexuality does not scare me at all. I have never been homophobic. It's just a change.

The question now is what to do with it? I don't want a boyfriend so gay dating sites don't seem like the right resource for me. I know there are gay saunas and they appeal to me but I would like somebody I can talk to whereas saunas sound to me more anonymous than that.

Here are some things I think would help me:

- A gay guy who understands where I'm coming from and I can have conversations with about my desires and his experiences as a gay man.
- A gay guy who I can explore physically with and who understands and abides by my limits as a predominantly straight man.
- Suggestions where I can find either of the above, either online or in person.

I am white, in my early 40s, in reasonable shape. I will soon be moving to south London / Surrey in the UK.

All comments/suggestions/offers gratefully received.

 

[KaraBulut]

We moved your thread to the support forum where you're more likely to get responses to your questions.

The question now is what to do with it? I don't want a boyfriend so gay dating sites don't seem like the right resource for me. I know there are gay saunas and they appeal to me but I would like somebody I can talk to whereas saunas sound to me more anonymous than that.

The first question is "Have you experimented with a guy yet?". Discussing boyfriends and dating seems a bit premature if you haven't really explored this new interest. It might be that these are just fantasies and that you are still predominantly heterosexual in your interests. It might be that you're somewhere in that large gray area between gay and straight.

The first step is to explore your interests and fantasies in a safe environment and to discover what it is exactly that you're feeling... and how far you want to go to make your fantasies into a reality.

For every exhibitionist, there's a voyeur. JUB has a forum for guys who like to show off and guys who like to see guys showing off. You're welcome to post pictures or videos there.

There's also lots of social media platforms where you can meet up with guys who you can experiment with. Create a profile and be clear on what you're looking for. In a large urban area, there's no shortage of guys who have similar interests that you can meetup with.

Once you start exploring your fantasies with guys, you can see how far you want this to go- whether you just want an occasional hookup with guy or whether you're headed toward something more long-term with a guy.

 

[LukeK]

KaraBulut, thank you for your reply.

Discussing boyfriends and dating seems a bit premature

I am ruling out boyfriends currently. That is not remotely what I am looking for.

JUB has a forum for guys who like to show off and guys who like to see guys showing off

I'm only partially interested in showing photos. My interest is in showing my body in person. Is that forum area a place where I can offer to show myself in person to people who like my photos?

There's also lots of social media platforms where you can meet up with guys who you can experiment with. Create a profile and be clear on what you're looking for. In a large urban area, there's no shortage of guys who have similar interests that you can meetup with.

Can you give any examples of such sites? This forum took me quite a while to find. I'm hoping somebody on here can recommend somewhere specific.

Thanks.

Luke

 

[KaraBulut]

I'm only partially interested in showing photos. My interest is in showing my body in person. Is that forum area a place where I can offer to show myself in person to people who like my photos?

Sure, as long as you're doing it for free and no remuneration is exchanged. For example, you're welcome to post pictures and offer to do live camming, Skype or in person shows as long as you're both consenting adults and it's not a commercial venture.

My suggestion would be to ask members who might be interested to PM you since it's generally a bad idea to post personal contact information in the open forum.

Can you give any examples of such sites? This forum took me quite a while to find. I'm hoping somebody on here can recommend somewhere specific.

Other members can give you their personal recommendations but a general list can be found here:
https://www.pinknews.co.uk/2018/03/05/best-gay-dating-apps-jackd-grindr-hornet-scruff/

 

[darian]

Here are some things I think would help me:

- A gay guy who understands where I'm coming from and I can have conversations with about my desires and his experiences as a gay man.

I think it would be great if there were forums where these conversations can be had and which can then develop into physical meetings in time from interested participants through further private communications, however I haven't found one yet: they mostly seem to be hookup sites based on superficial information or the sites that do allow discussion don't have an associated private communication facility.