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Straight people have poor gaydar?

T

TinyToeOut

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I've always thought I am the kind of closeted case that would be so bluntly obvious that it would take a blind man to miss. I always hoped that people will start asking me if I am gay, that will make the whole "I'm gay" conversation much easier (in my opinion). But apparently, no one has asked me about it. Do you think these are obvious enough:

-I openly like Winnie the Pooh

-I have tons and tons of plushies and I sleep with an Eeyore plush toy

-I wear T-shirts with Paddington Bear, Spongebob Squarepants, Snoopy prints

-I have mannerism that I know will trigger my gaydar immediately when I see it on other people. (this is not intentional though)

Straight people definitely have poor or non-existent gayday. Maybe I should start wearing "I <3 Man" T-shirts?:eek: ..|
 
When I was coming out years ago a good friend of mine said,
"Never under-estimate the stupidity of a person"
when it comes to someone you think knows you are gay.
 
Most people, gay or straight, have pretty refined gaydar, actually. Some is more developed than others. Gays tend to doubt someone's straightness sooner, if only because of personal experience. Straights tend to assume others are straight on first impression, but pick up cues pretty quickly in this day and age.

When someone is "obviously gay" there's really no reason to inquire, is there? There's nothing to inquire about--it's obvious. If you want to actually talk about it, it'll probably be up to you to initiate the conversation. Many straights feel awkward, or like they're being intrusive, bringing it up themselves. It doesn't mean they don't care, or don't want to talk about it. They just don't know how and are fearful of offending.

So, bring it up and say whatever you want to people. Many would probably appreciate you breaking the ice.
 
I don't think "gaydar" is more or less effective with gays or straights. Being gay, many times I have been wrong when I could have sworn someone was gay and they were absolutely not. I know one guy right now who acts somewhat effeminate but is totally straight, happily married, children and no interest at all in men. Who knew? Conversely, I have met guys who I would have sworn were as straight as an arrow but were the first to throw their legs in the air! Go figure. Most of the time I can sense it but like I said, I have been wrong. You can't always judge a book by its cover.
 
most people are so wrapped up in their own lives and problems that they just aren't noticing anything else anywhere else. a guy might be engaged in some kinda estereotipical gay behavior or whatnot, and a person looking right at him oblivious to everything maybe in a conversation with themself such as - did i pick up my cleaning - and did i pay the electric?
ding
 
averageguy said:
Most people, gay or straight, have pretty refined gaydar, actually. Some is more developed than others. Gays tend to doubt someone's straightness sooner, if only because of personal experience. Straights tend to assume others are straight on first impression, but pick up cues pretty quickly in this day and age.

When someone is "obviously gay" there's really no reason to inquire, is there? There's nothing to inquire about--it's obvious. If you want to actually talk about it, it'll probably be up to you to initiate the conversation. Many straights feel awkward, or like they're being intrusive, bringing it up themselves. It doesn't mean they don't care, or don't want to talk about it. They just don't know how and are fearful of offending.

So, bring it up and say whatever you want to people. Many would probably appreciate you breaking the ice.
Click to expand...

Bingo! What he said.

It's sort funny reading the original post, where someone is asking for people to out him. And yet there are so many posts on this board saying no one should ever ask if you're gay, 'cause it's none of their business. Curious, indeed.
 
ive been working at the same place for like 9 years now and all my co-workers hate gays, its weird but i just kind of laugh theyre nice ppl theyre just dumb and dont understand how hard it is to be different, well none of them know im a fag--im kind of proud of that though! =) yeah theyre gaydar sucks!
 
snoopy is freaking manly... grr (he's Joe Cool for pete's sake, and the red barron)
 
If you think you're that obvious then perhaps they are waiting for you to say something even though they already suspect. If you don't bring it up then the message you are sending them is that its not ok to talk about it.
 
TinyToeOut said:
I've always thought I am the kind of closeted case that would be so bluntly obvious that it would take a blind man to miss. I always hoped that people will start asking me if I am gay, that will make the whole "I'm gay" conversation much easier (in my opinion). But apparently, no one has asked me about it.
Click to expand...

Because most people aren't comfortable with walking up to someone and saying, "Hey, man, are you gay?"

You can't really expect them to come right out and ask. I've heard those conversations before.....

"I think that guy's gay, what do you think?"

"I don't know, why don't you go ask him?"

"No way!"

I agree with averageguy, if you're obvious then there's no reason to ask.
 
Thanks for the replies, anyway, this thread was created with a little tongue-in-cheek. But in reality I've always wished that my parents will ask me if I am gay, for one it will be easier to initiate the whole coming out conversation (IMO) and also that will tell me that they are ready to hear the news (not-so-new though)
 
my gaydar is ok...but at least with most gay guys I know, I don't think anyone would ever guess just by appearance and mannerism.
 
i don't think i even have any gaydar, due to these estereotipos that really don't apply so much anymore - if they ever were definitive trademarks. if i saw somebody in drag with breast implants and makeup and sweeping gestures, i would consider they might be gay. BUT there are those that do this for a living and just might not be
ding
 
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