In the last five months, I've had sex with a guy three times at a bathhouse in Toronto which for me is unusual. I usually have sex with someone once at a bathhouse and that is it. Or if I see the guy again we y ignore each other. I don't know his name and he doesn't know my name and that's how I like it.
We talk a little bit and we both live in the same city outside of Toronto. When we first met, he asked for my e-mail address. I declined because I want my bathhouse experiences to remain anonymous.
We are in the same age group and both gay men of colour. The three time we had sex was pretty good. The last time we had sex was two weeks ago and it was excellent. Usually, when I go to a bathhouse I have sex with a guy once and that's it. The bathhouse is supposed to be anonymous or so I thought. If I see someone I had sex with in the bathhouse after a sexual experience we usually just ignore each other. I believe that's the unwritten rule and code.
I understand in a bathhouse it is a temporal space that is sexual and where no feelings or emotions are involved it is just about sex.
Anyway, a few days ago, I go to the bathhouse on Sunday evening and I hear the voice of the guy I fooled around with a few times he is engaged in a conversation with someone. I mind my own business and check into my room. Next, I leave my room open and the guy walks into my room and starts talking.
He starts going on a rant about how he doesn't like other Indian gay men. Next, he starts making fun of some gay Sikh guy that wears talked to him online. He thought it was funny that the guy wore a turban. I was thinking to myself "why is that funny?" But I did not say anything about it. In fact, he actually started to speak in a thick Indian accent which stereotypes Indian people.
Although, I am not Indian, I am black, I thought his comment about Indian gay men was weird. How can someone not be sexually attracted to someone of their own race? Why would he make a racist comment about his own community? Why is he telling me this stuff anyway?
I thought that his racist comment was weird, because he is Indian himself. Next he says "do you want to fuck and do you got poppers?" He starts to sniff the poppers.
I didn't want to get into a big debate about why he doesn't like other gay Indian men from his own cultural group, because I will be honest I just wanted to have sex.
I said "sure." The last time we had sex was hot. Anyway, I start to suck his dick and he's getting turned on. However, when I am finished pleasuring him and it is his turn to return the favour he says "I' can't do this" and he storms out of the room.
I say to him when he leaves the room "take care of yourself." So he leaves my room but then I just felt weird and my mood shifted I wasn't turned on anymore.
Next, I decide to walk round and cruise and I see him in the hallway and we look at each other. Finally, a little bit past midnight, I decide it is time for me to go home because I am just not horny anymore. I get dressed and I am walking to the exit. The Indian guy sees me and he walks up to me and apologize. He says "sorry for freaking out on you earlier." I just say "okay." I return the key for my room and go home.
Has anyone else ever experienced something like this before? The thing is, I really like this bathhouse and I don't want to be rude but I just go to the bathhouse to get off that's it. I usually don't even talk to people there I do my thing and split.
For me personally, the bathhouse is a great place to get off and cutting through the bullshit. If I see this guy again, I will definitely just ignore him or walk in the opposite direction and avoid him. I know I just want my time at the baths to be a good experience for me.
We talk a little bit and we both live in the same city outside of Toronto. When we first met, he asked for my e-mail address. I declined because I want my bathhouse experiences to remain anonymous.
We are in the same age group and both gay men of colour. The three time we had sex was pretty good. The last time we had sex was two weeks ago and it was excellent. Usually, when I go to a bathhouse I have sex with a guy once and that's it. The bathhouse is supposed to be anonymous or so I thought. If I see someone I had sex with in the bathhouse after a sexual experience we usually just ignore each other. I believe that's the unwritten rule and code.
I understand in a bathhouse it is a temporal space that is sexual and where no feelings or emotions are involved it is just about sex.
Anyway, a few days ago, I go to the bathhouse on Sunday evening and I hear the voice of the guy I fooled around with a few times he is engaged in a conversation with someone. I mind my own business and check into my room. Next, I leave my room open and the guy walks into my room and starts talking.
He starts going on a rant about how he doesn't like other Indian gay men. Next, he starts making fun of some gay Sikh guy that wears talked to him online. He thought it was funny that the guy wore a turban. I was thinking to myself "why is that funny?" But I did not say anything about it. In fact, he actually started to speak in a thick Indian accent which stereotypes Indian people.
Although, I am not Indian, I am black, I thought his comment about Indian gay men was weird. How can someone not be sexually attracted to someone of their own race? Why would he make a racist comment about his own community? Why is he telling me this stuff anyway?
I thought that his racist comment was weird, because he is Indian himself. Next he says "do you want to fuck and do you got poppers?" He starts to sniff the poppers.
I didn't want to get into a big debate about why he doesn't like other gay Indian men from his own cultural group, because I will be honest I just wanted to have sex.
I said "sure." The last time we had sex was hot. Anyway, I start to suck his dick and he's getting turned on. However, when I am finished pleasuring him and it is his turn to return the favour he says "I' can't do this" and he storms out of the room.
I say to him when he leaves the room "take care of yourself." So he leaves my room but then I just felt weird and my mood shifted I wasn't turned on anymore.
Next, I decide to walk round and cruise and I see him in the hallway and we look at each other. Finally, a little bit past midnight, I decide it is time for me to go home because I am just not horny anymore. I get dressed and I am walking to the exit. The Indian guy sees me and he walks up to me and apologize. He says "sorry for freaking out on you earlier." I just say "okay." I return the key for my room and go home.
Has anyone else ever experienced something like this before? The thing is, I really like this bathhouse and I don't want to be rude but I just go to the bathhouse to get off that's it. I usually don't even talk to people there I do my thing and split.
For me personally, the bathhouse is a great place to get off and cutting through the bullshit. If I see this guy again, I will definitely just ignore him or walk in the opposite direction and avoid him. I know I just want my time at the baths to be a good experience for me.
