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Strange Problem...

son1fan

son1fan

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Well iv been seeing this guy for a couple months (2-3 id say) and things are going pretty good...somewhat. We don't see each other a lot because I live 25 minutes away(just moved back to my old town...used to live 5 minutes from him). Im kinda fine with the distance because it gives us our own space without cluttering each other with each other(if that makes sense). Now my problem is, is that I like to party and he isn't much of a partier(which I don't mind at all). The problem is, is that my single instincts come out.

I guess you could say i'm your average guy, I like to look and flirt and I just love attention from everyone. I can't help but get horny when there are a lot of hot people drunk people in a room. I stand my ground and tell myself that i'm in a relationship and that I don't want to do anything that will jeopardize my the relationship. I guess a small part of me misses the single life where I could do anything with anyone and not feel any guilt. I guess I should mention that this is my first "real" relationship so i'm still learning how to do it and how to make it work. Any advice would be great.:-)
 
If you really don't want to be in a relationship, then you shouldn't. You don't want to hurt your boyfriend by accident. If you want to be in a relationship and you truly feel that you are going to get in trouble partying, you may have to give it up in order to protect your relationship. This is just my opinion though
 
It doesn't make you a bad person if you are not ready for a relationship. You must realize that by partying you place yourself in a hook up environment and then lower your inhibitions with alcohol.
 
Well there seems to be a lot more to the story now. He gave me the "we gotta talk" text so i'v been envisioning every bad scenario. I'v tried calling but it goes to voice mail and he doesn't respond to my texts so i'v been assuming that hes broken up with me and is just ignoring me so that I "get the clue".
 
I guess this'll all depend. How firm a line do you think you have? Do you actually just like flirting and playful banter, and will be satisfied with that? If a hot guy asks to take you home, are you positive you'll say "actually, I'm seeing somebody now, but thanks"? Or is there a good chance you'll succumb to temptation?

If you're positive you can toe that line, then feel free to keep your boyfriend. But if you can't, either give up the boyfriend, or give up playing with matches.

Lex
 
Well last night I kept it in my head that I was seeing him and it made me sad (aka emotional drunk on the porch lol) so I didn't do anything that would jeopardize it. I guess I always wanted to make sure that I really like him(and I do).
 
Haha, well, if you want my advice on 'how not to hook up when drunk', what I usually do is, if I don't want to do anything that I will regret I just 'spank the monkey' so to speak as much as possible that day (especially right before goin' out), that way its like i'm "all hornied out" lol. Now keep in mind that I'm not in a relationship, or even dating, plus I don't usually drink so much that I will get 'drunk' but for I find it works...

Don't know if thats really good advice given the circumstances, but thats how I SOMETIMES (almost never) deal with potential hook ups when I really don't want them to happen.
 
Did he break up with you?

If not, then...

Part of the maturing process is learning to keep your promises and commitments.

Immature people want to have their cake and eat it too: a boyfriend so as to feel loved and a few tricks on the side to keep life spicy. This is obviously selfish, as it means one values their own pleasure over someone else's feelings.

When I was very young, I refused to enter into relationships, because I knew I enjoyed the chase for new sexual partners too much, and I'd feel very guilty, if I cheated on someone. (This was in the pre-AIDS era.)

If you're going to feel that you're really missing something because of a committed relationship, you aren't ready for one yet.
 
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