Struggling with feeling trapped..

[jbfan123]

I'm single, 23 next week and am out to a few people but it's unknown to most, and i don't really know any gay people or ever really meet people i find myself attracted to and on the subject of being 'out' i feel that it's unnecessary to tell everyone until i meet someone if you know what i mean? and i just can't see myself meeting anyone! being from manchester it's easy to go gay clubs but the scene isn't really my thing if i'm honest, and it's kind of getting me down at the moment! has anyone else experienced this?

 

[Lube]

What do you mean you don't know any gay people. 10% of the population is gay. If you're out, you'll be a magnet for gay men.

 

[OnlyGot86400]

I know how you feel. I am 23, and only two people know I am into dudes, niether of them even live near me. I live at a University and I am having a hard time meeting someone. I have only been with girls and they havent really worked out so I am hoping to give guys a try, but I dont want to come out to my family or anything until I have a boyfriend, otherwise it would just be pointless in my mind. So like you, I feel like I am in bit of a pickle. I am probably not the best person to give advise since I am in the same situation as you, but I right now I am just trying to focus on myself. I know its hard, and I do think about finding a guy but I always hear that these things work themselves out when you least expect them to. So I am trying not to expect it, maybe you should try that for a while. Focus on your goals and aspirations, learn how to be happy being single, then you will have the confidence you need when the right guy comes along.

 

[hylas]

youre not meeting anyone because youre not out.

if i may be blunt, i think youre using "until i meet someone" (whatever that actually means) as an excuse to not do what youre scared of: coming out. its ok, its a scary thing and you shouldnt force yourself too hard. just dont make your coming out dependant on someone else, thats just bullshit. sooner is better, but youre ready when youre ready.

 

[Lube]

^What X-cess said.

Think about it. What if you meet mister right. Come out to your parents and introduce him to them. And 4 weeks later you break up.

So then you're single--and out. Are you going to be uncomfortable again? Are you going to be susceptible to your parents saying you need to find a nice girl and settle down?

How will it be any different from today?

You need to build up a reserve of self-confidence, and come out when you're ready.

But no excuses, OK?

 

[Echoes]

I agree with the guys here. Don't use that as an excuse, I don't mean you should come out to everybody now, just go with it as you feel comfortable.
I agree with the other point too, once you're out you'll find it surprising to know how many gay people are around.

 

[jbfan123]

good advice guys, thanks

 

[altlover85]

^What X-cess said.

Think about it. What if you meet mister right. Come out to your parents and introduce him to them. And 4 weeks later you break up.

So then you're single--and out. Are you going to be uncomfortable again? Are you going to be susceptible to your parents saying you need to find a nice girl and settle down?

How will it be any different from today?

You need to build up a reserve of self-confidence, and come out when you're ready.

But no excuses, OK?

I think the OP thinks he might not be gay and is afraid of coming out and then being wrong.

ashycub, are you attracted to men exclusively or are you also attracted to women?

 

[jbfan123]

I think the OP thinks he might not be gay and is afraid of coming out and then being wrong.

ashycub, are you attracted to men exclusively or are you also attracted to women?

i've had a relationship with a woman before, and found the odd one attractive, but no, i definitely know i'm gay haha.

 

[altlover85]

i've had a relationship with a woman before, and found the odd one attractive, but no, i definitely know i'm gay haha.

Okay, then don't worry about if you aren't with someone. Come out.