Stupid things you've done/said...

[G-Lexington]

There ain't enough bandwidth, kid.

Lex

 

[G-Lexington]

Twice, I've left for vacation, and almost gotten into the taxi or car-taking-me-to-airport when someone has asked, "Where's your luggage?" And I have to go back to my apartment and get it.

I can think of at least four occasions where I went out to run one single errand. The errand involved taking one item to one place. In all four cases, I got to the place and realized I hadn't taken the item with me.

One of my co-workers liked to dress a bit strange. One day he showed up in a black cowboy hat, black collared shirt, black jeans, and black boots. I said, "Damn, Shane, who died?" He said, "My grandfather - I just came from the funeral."

I had recently met a fairly nice guy, and ran into him with a group of friends. He pretended to be nervous, and started stuttering. I laughed at it...until one of his friends told me, no, he really DOES have a major stutter, and is really self-conscious about it.

...I really could do this all day.

Lex

 

[Fucker29]

One day I was going, as usual, to my college by bus (I lived 40km away from my college so it took about almost 1h to get there) and there was this guy doing this inquiry (sp) about the services on public transportations, specially what concerns the month pass. So he came to me and introduced himself and what he was doing 'n all that jazz right? So, he asked my name...I couldn't remember, had a total blank...I was with a friend of mine and she told him my name for me...and I was like "YES THAT'S IT! That's my name!". Then he asked my age, I couldn't remember either...my friend told him my age for me. He asked me my birthdate, I couldn't remember...my friend told him my birthdate for me.

And this for the entire bus to witness...and the bus was FULL!!!
So as you can see Tommy...this one alone eclipses what you did, in terms of stupidity. And this is only one of the millions of stupid things I've said and done in the past.

 

[Miss Ruby]

Last week I`ve spent the night at Michael`s ( my actual date) appartement.
On his night table he has a vase filled with some red pebbles and a .... glass dildo I`ve thought...very tricky this man, disguise the dildo as decoration stuff.

I`ve checked the rest of this interesting area and I saw a kind of paddle beside of the vase.

I`ve looked at him and said:" You`re really clever....to hide your dildo between red pebbles and to think that women mistaken your spanking toy for a little tennis racket !!!"

He smiled at me and answered:" Don`t worry...it`s neither a spanking toy nor a tennis racket...just an electronic mosquito swatter....but I really like your fantasies"

my face >

sorry for my funny english again...

 

[12fear99]

One on my coworker came to work with one black shoe and one brown on and did not realize it until she stood up to give a presentation. That was the laugh of the day.

Walking into a glass door you though was open.

 

[Puzuzzu]

One day I was going, as usual, to my college by bus (I lived 40km away from my college so it took about almost 1h to get there) and there was this guy doing this inquiry (sp) about the services on public transportations, specially what concerns the month pass. So he came to me and introduced himself and what he was doing 'n all that jazz right? So, he asked my name...I couldn't remember, had a total blank...I was with a friend of mine and she told him my name for me...and I was like "YES THAT'S IT! That's my name!". Then he asked my age, I couldn't remember either...my friend told him my age for me. He asked me my birthdate, I couldn't remember...my friend told him my birthdate for me.

And this for the entire bus to witness...and the bus was FULL!!!
So as you can see Tommy...this one alone eclipses what you did, in terms of stupidity. And this is only one of the millions of stupid things I've said and done in the past.

i assume you're kidding,

 

[Fucker29]

i assume you're kidding,

Lol! Nope, this is very true. It seems almost unreal but it isn't. I totally blocked, I don't know why. It was very weird. Never happened to me before and never happened since...it was the only time such a thing happened to me...not remembering my name and things like that.
I should mention that it was like 7am and I had slept like 2 hours so my brain was kinda off.

 

[kevbo]

Doing stupid things is 20 times worse when you've been a smartass about something and then have been proven wrong.

I don't have any cases like this, though. I'm a good smartass.

 

[Scrub]

The one that quickly comes to mind is walking out the door, locking it and then realizing I don't have my keys.

My keys are right next to the door.

 

[godson112]

Slightly ironic, I did one really recently, and I have totally forgotten what it was.

Shame because I have a feeling it blows your one out the water...

But various things include bitching about managers/supervisors only to find out their right next to me. Happened twice in one day last week. You'd think I would learn.

I just generally always have blonde moments. I always say stupid things. I'm gonna keep a diary

Oh and Tommy can you have sex with me plz? ty.

 

[Alpha1851]

I`ve looked at him and said:" You`re really clever....to hide your dildo between red pebbles and to think that women mistaken your spanking toy for a little tennis racket !!!"

He smiled at me and answered:" Don`t worry...it`s neither a spanking toy nor a tennis racket...just an electronic mosquito swatter....but I really like your fantasies"

I love that Ruby! I would've thought the same thing.

I'm constantly putting my foot in my mouth and making blunders. I worked at Captain D.'s in high school and one of the cooks kept asking me to read the orders to him, which got old b/c the orders are displayed on the computer screen. I thought he was just being a jerk, so I yelled, "What's your problem? Are you illiterate or something?" And, yes he was.

During 3L year of law school, we could represent clients in legal matters so long as admitted atty was supervised us and went w/ us to crt. Well, my client had a good case, I had spoken her several times, I made sure she was comfortable in crt, and we were all set for a hearing. This particular judge was very picky when it came to his crtroom protocols, and when my case was announced during calendar call I was supposed to stand up and state, "Your honor my name is Alpha and I represent the Plaintiff, Mrs. X, and we are ready to proceed." Pretty simple. But unfortunately I only managed, "Your honor my name is Alpha and I represent the Plaintiff…" Yep, for some wicked reason I drew a blank, I couldn't remember my client's name.

I worked as a judicial clerk and the crthouse has lots of hidden back passageways. I got so lost a couple of times that I had to call the crt officers to come find me.

 

[G-Lexington]

>>>The one that quickly comes to mind is walking out the door, locking it and then realizing I don't have my keys.

Pfft. A few weeks ago, Pubert was sick in bed with food poisoning, and asked me to come home and bring him soda water and medicine. I walk to work, but I pass a drugstore on the way. So I left for home, stopped at the drugstore, bought the stuff, went upstairs...and realized I'd left my keys next to my computer at work. And Pubert was too sick to get out of bed to let me in. I had to walk all the way back to work to get them. That's another half hour or so.

Lex

 

[Jory]

Beside breathing and talking?

 

[Kester]

Went Christmas shopping yesterday. Parked my car in the carpark (which was massive and full).

After doing some shopping came to leave, spent 35 minutes walking around the carpark trying to find my car before I realised that my car was parked on the level above.

 

[Centexfarmer]

My boyfriend and I were leaving for a week to spend time on the Texas Gulf Coast.

We'd been planning it for weeks, and I was hoping to leave early.

Of course he was running a little late from work, and we didn't get on the road anywhere near the time that I wanted to leave, and I was a complete ass all the way down to our campsite in the dunes.

We arrived at sunrise, and decided to stop at a beach side diner on our way to our campsite, and it was then that I realized that I had left all our camping gear, my clothes, and our food for the week on the front porch of our house...8+ hours away.

The look on his face when I realized my error though was priceless. I think that he realized at that point that I was the one who arrived on the "short bus" instead of him.

I spent the rest of our vacation making sure that my boyfriend had a good time.

 

[gdude30]

Oh hell.

Way too many to count...

 

[tooliso]

Me and mates used to go out every Thursday, our going out ritual involved buying the cheapest Vodka possible as well as really nasty cheap fruit juice, which after drinking I would always be sick. One night I managed to make it to the pub before the nights drink came up, I ran to the toilet and out it came, however I didnt realise that I had stuck my head so far down the toilet that my hair had vomit chunks in it, and I carried on my night normally...

Another time I decided, again whilst drunk, that lighting a cigarette of the hob of the cooker was a good idea until I set my fringe on fire.

I went to see a mate in Uni, got far too drunk, decided I needed a bath, ran the bath, fell in it and the motion of the water made me sick in the bath, so to get rid of it, I literally rammed the bits of pizza down the plughole whilst emptying the bath and my mate asked why I was being so long (she was drunk too), so for some reason I told her that I thought I had bulimia because I had thrown up and she locked herself in her flatmates room and started crying

Finally, again whilst very drunk (recurring theme here, I should probably try and control myself) I was coming back from a club in Barcelona and our hotel was in the red light district, my lighter broke so I approached a woman for a light (the fact that she had hot pants, a boob tube, thigh high boots and an afro might have warned me that she wasnt quite innocent), she started saying Una Blowjob, Una Blowjob to me and grabbed my nuts, which promptly scared the shit out of me and I ran away

 

[Críostóir]

I've only got two: everything I've ever said, and everything I've ever done!

The one that quickly comes to mind is walking out the door, locking it and then realizing I don't have my keys.

My keys are right next to the door.

This is why I never lock the knob lock (which you can open from inside and is still locked from outside), but only the deadbolt. That way if I can get into the building I can get into my apartment.

I do leave my keys at work sometimes. I keep a spare set in my backpack, which I NEVER forget at work; it weighs enough that I'd really notice the extra spring in my step!

 

[badwithnames]

i have alot, however, at the moment, none come to mind... so i'll just tell you something one of my good friends did just today.

we work at the mall, and all kinds of ppl go there... well, he was in the public restroom and just finished washing his hands, he turned around and was about to exit when a girl walked into the bathroom. So he told the girl "um, this is the mens room" and to his surprise the girl said, "i know, im a guy"... and my friend felt so bad(even worse when he realized it was one of the mentally handicapped kids who comes to the mall daily for a class trip). he came back from the bathroom and told us what had just happened to him and i couldnt stop bagging up... i was laughing my ass off cuz he told some guy he was in the mens room thinking it was a girl.

 

[morgaes]

I accidentally walked into the women's changing room at the local pool when I was about 10 years old. I was even making an effort not going into the wrong room *sigh*