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Suggestions how to find a man when in Grad School?

Alive and Free

Alive and Free

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Any suggestions how to find a man when in Grad School ? I just started to come out to those closest to me when I was finishing undergrad and now that I am in Grad school I am tottaly clueless as to how to go out and find myself a man in an academic enviornment. My program is of a fairly conservative stock so it is unlikely I will meet anyone in it. I live on campus and have found that I am a world apart in mature and life expirence from the Undergrads. Any feedback would be appreciated.
 
Re: Suggestions how to find a man when in Grad Sch

Put yourself out there. Join groups, clubs, intramural sports teams, attend every function your program holds. Invite people from class out for a drink at the campus bar. Afterall Uni, especially post grad is one of the only places where you wont come off weird asking a complete stranger if they want to grab a drink after class.

I was convinced my program in undergrad was fairly conservative until I found out that in my graduating class of 25 there were 4 other gay guys, we used to all go out and have a great time, so you never know until you put yourself out there.

If all else fails forget that you are above undergrads and mingle with them.
 
Re: Suggestions how to find a man when in Grad Sch

I'm in the same boat. I'm in engineering, where gay guys aren't unheard of, but there aren't many of us either. If I knew the answer to your question, I'd be happily married by now.

I think the biggest problem for grad students is time. And even if you have time, do you have the energy. Often, I'd rather just crash in front of the TV and maybe catch some Zzzz's instead of go out to a bar or something.
 
Re: Suggestions how to find a man when in Grad Sch

thermodynamics said:
I'm in engineering, where gay guys aren't unheard of, but there aren't many of us either.
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Don't tell this to the group of gay engineers we hang out with most Saturday nights, lol. But, in grad school, I don't think any of them were "out" and you'd never pick up cues by watching and talking with them anyway. So, it's definitely harder.


I think the biggest problem for grad students is time. And even if you have time, do you have the energy. Often, I'd rather just crash in front of the TV and maybe catch some Zzzz's instead of go out to a bar or something.
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The time/energy thing is real. What you have to do is make socializing time a priority and budget for it. Throughout my graduate school time, I always dedicated Saturday nights to down-time in which I went out and did things with family or friends. It was sacred. I would not allow school to interfere with it, even if that meant doubling up efforts during the week. Saturdays were mine for my sanity and I protected them at all costs. That's what you have to do.
 
Re: Suggestions how to find a man when in Grad Sch

What about going off campus? It's always healthy to have a life outside of school with friends and social contacts who are not in academia. What kind of city is your school in?
 
Re: Suggestions how to find a man when in Grad Sch

Unfortunetly this part of inland california isint too gay friendly , palm springs is about an hour from here though.
 
Re: Suggestions how to find a man when in Grad Sch

Does your Uni have a gay society or group? Most Universities these days do. While you may not find Mr. Right there, you undoubtedly meet others who are in your same situation.

Sadly for all of us we are put in situations where we feel we are the only ones many times throughout life. The best you can do is be yourself, meet as many people gay or straight as you can, focus on your immediate task at hand which would be studies, and something will come along.

I'm sort of in the same situation as my Masters program doesn't have many "apparent" gays, but it doesn't mean I cancel out the possibility. It's just forced me to look externally for social activities.
 
Re: Suggestions how to find a man when in Grad Sch

No offense by this but it was always kinda weird making on Freshmen. As an older student sometimes its hard to fit in.
 
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