marvtha
Dame Marvtha, Muffinmaker
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- Aug 22, 2006
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"Summer lovin'..had me a blast. Summer lovin'...I had bad gas" (Shellfish gives me the bloat,and wicked shits) ANYHOO....summer is officially over and all i has to show for it is a nasty sunburn on my ass, a brutal rash on my stomach from the tit sweat, sand in my hoo-ha & CRABS!!! NO not the seafood from some quaint seaside cafe but the actual parasites!!!
Ya see ol' Marvs stumbled upon(literally he was passed out on the shore) a beach bum under the boardwalk.
"Under the boardwalk..we'll be fallin' down drunk. Under the boardwalk...i'll be sucking his junk"
He got my juices a flowin' with his sun bronzed brown skin, hair bleached yellow from the sun's rays. pssst..upon closer inspection some of his "brown skin" was actual flecks of his own feces stuck to his body and the yellow hair was from all the nicotine wafting up 'round his head.....he smoked.. A LOT!!!) Nevertheless..he blinded me like the sun with his expansive shell collection, surfer speak, "Like your tits are totally tubular" and foremost...it looked like he was carrying around a baby hammerhead shark in his Speedo!!!!
His name was Barracuda and he had me....."Down, down, down on my knees.....
Cuda came to my rescue one sunny afternoon when ol' Marvs had passed out on the beach from too many mimosas and a gaggle of Greenpeace fuckers were trying to push me back into the ocean!!!
Good ole Cuda stopped them before I was actually "swimmin with the fishes!" My hero!!!!
We spent the next few days making sandcastles, surfing, holding hands whilst the sunset in the sky, and having lobster picnics. OKAY...we drank ( A LOT), fucked (EVEN MORE) and killed seagulls for our supper with slingshots!!!!!
Then one evening i woke up and all that was laying next to me was Barracuda's torso!!!!!
me thinks a shark came ashore and bit him in half!?! Bastard took the best part of him!! i hope the fucker choked?! i know I DID!!!!
So alls i have left of our summer together is a seashell he gave me. I swear ...when i put it up to my ear i can hear him retching after a night of hard drinkin and bad shellfish! 
OH YEA....and a case of the crabs!
ol' Marvs is tearin' up
WAIT....i think i got some sand in my eye?!?
ANYHOO....hope you alls summerwas a blast!!! now i have to comb my pubes with that little fuckin comb. and my snatch is way hairy...just sayin...it could take awhile!
Ya see ol' Marvs stumbled upon(literally he was passed out on the shore) a beach bum under the boardwalk.
"Under the boardwalk..we'll be fallin' down drunk. Under the boardwalk...i'll be sucking his junk"
He got my juices a flowin' with his sun bronzed brown skin, hair bleached yellow from the sun's rays. pssst..upon closer inspection some of his "brown skin" was actual flecks of his own feces stuck to his body and the yellow hair was from all the nicotine wafting up 'round his head.....he smoked.. A LOT!!!) Nevertheless..he blinded me like the sun with his expansive shell collection, surfer speak, "Like your tits are totally tubular" and foremost...it looked like he was carrying around a baby hammerhead shark in his Speedo!!!!
His name was Barracuda and he had me....."Down, down, down on my knees.....
Cuda came to my rescue one sunny afternoon when ol' Marvs had passed out on the beach from too many mimosas and a gaggle of Greenpeace fuckers were trying to push me back into the ocean!!! Good ole Cuda stopped them before I was actually "swimmin with the fishes!"
My hero!!!!We spent the next few days making sandcastles, surfing, holding hands whilst the sunset in the sky, and having lobster picnics. OKAY...we drank ( A LOT), fucked (EVEN MORE) and killed seagulls for our supper with slingshots!!!!!
Then one evening i woke up and all that was laying next to me was Barracuda's torso!!!!!
me thinks a shark came ashore and bit him in half!?! Bastard took the best part of him!! i hope the fucker choked?! i know I DID!!!!So alls i have left of our summer together is a seashell he gave me. I swear ...when i put it up to my ear i can hear him retching after a night of hard drinkin and bad shellfish! OH YEA....and a case of the crabs!ol' Marvs is tearin' up
WAIT....i think i got some sand in my eye?!?ANYHOO....hope you alls summerwas a blast!!!
now i have to comb my pubes with that little fuckin comb. and my snatch is way hairy...just sayin...it could take awhile!
i've hoisted a drink or two there!!!
MISSED YA LOTS!!!!!