Taking jabs about weight

[dirtyturtle]

Hello Jubbers

Today i was with my family and we were at lunch and my brother had been given a slice of pizza and pretty much devoured it, and my mother had made a comment about him having a growing spurt to which i agreed. Shortly after, my stepdad had made a comment well at least he won't be a waif like his brother, and I had given him the look of wtf.....then he continued to go on about my "sunken" chest and "twig like" limbs and I felt it completly out of line. If this had been someone unrelevant to me I would have given them a piece of my mind with the sharp tounge that i have, however but because its my stepdad and he is letting me live with him rent free while I attend school. I realize i should say something to my mother because it did upset me that she did not say anything and that I already have got into with him over some of the anti-gay comments.

I do not want to stir any trouble in the house but I can only take so much before my temper flairs (and yes i do have a slight temper) I will blow up and divide my mother again.

Suggestions?

 

[Jerry]

Talk to HIM. You're a man, right? He's made comments about you being gay and being a waif, and he obviously sees you as being weak and/or less of a man.

The best way to handle a guy like that is to get your thoughts straight, and approach him like a man. Get him alone and lay it down. Tell him that while you appreciate the things he is providing for you, you're not going to tolerate being treated like anything less than the man you are.

Get your thoughts straight and confront him respectfully but sternly, and hold your ground. Make some good eye contact, especially when making key points or when he's addressing you. Don't be confrontational, but don't be emotionial either. He doesn't care about your "feelings", trust me.

Remind him that you're not disrespectful towards him (as I assume you're not), and so he has no reason to be that way toward you.

Maybe he doesn't realize how much it affects you, and maybe he just sees you as weak, I don't know. But if you come at him like a man, you'll have a much better chance of being treated like one.

 

[Haberdashery]

don't upset your mother. She raised you to this point. And if you can't sort it out with him then leave cos you're an adult. Just don't upset your mother. And if you can't leave then shut your mouth cos it's his house. Just don't drag your mother thru the shit cos u got a bad temper.

 

[Haberdashery]

And who gives a fuck about the waif thing? That's the most sought after gay body type. And he calls you a queer? So? You are one yea?

Just don't upset your mother

 

[Willie Boy]

The jabs weren't so much about your weight as about your, in his eyes, weakness. The way I see it, you have 3 choices: 1) you can accept it and try not to let it bother you (this doesn't sound like it will work for you), 2) you can stand up for yourself and calmly adress him as a man with the same courtesy and respect that you would like him to show you (this may or may not work for you), or 3) you can throw a fit, blowing your top at him and move out (this seems to be what he is after, as well as being what your personality would tend toward - as described in your original post). You didn't state your age, but as you emphasized that you were still living at home while going to school, one would surmise that you are of an age when you should be standing on your own two feet. As your stepfather has aparently made previous anti-gay comments, it sounds like he would prefer to not have you "under his roof". The question is this: is it really worth the continued hassle and stress to your whole family to continue living there? Because it doesn't sound like he is going to suddenly change his way and learn to accept you. Sadly, this is something that only you can answer for yourself.

 

[bankside]

don't upset your mother. She raised you to this point. And if you can't sort it out with him then leave cos you're an adult. Just don't upset your mother. And if you can't leave then shut your mouth cos it's his house. Just don't drag your mother thru the shit cos u got a bad temper.

In this case, however, the step-father is being disrespectful to the OP, but also to his mother. By the way isn't it the mother's house too?

 

[Haberdashery]

In this case, however, the step-father is being disrespectful to the OP, but also to his mother. By the way isn't it the mother's house too?

Oh bankside we disagree in all the forums but I like it )

This kid sounds old enough to have a wife and kids of his own. Yea the stepfather thinks he's a queer but that's life. This kids got a roof over his head, probably pays no bills?? Probably does no chores?? So do you think he should drag the mother into the middle? The mother loves him and wants to protect him and that may cause probs with the old man. I'm not saying this kids a bad kid but u know kids of today.... Me me me spoilt little cunts. I say try and sort it ( of course) but if the old mans a cunt then shut the fuck up or fuck off. Not like the old mans beltin the kid up. So he's called him a few names, if he can't handle that then how the fuck is he gonna deal with life on the outside? Have a hissy fit?

 

[Haberdashery]

It is? I thought that being a waif is considered passé and that every gay guy wanted to be a bodybuilder now?

Everyone like muscles but you can never be too thin or too rich. Well so the saying goes!

 

[Lukeee]

define:waif

 

[Haberdashery]

Yep that's waif ^ thin and pink in the middle. Top of the food chain.

 

[nitish]

Never take an insult sitting down. You should've literally gotten up and thrown your napkin on the table for effect. If you're more of the daring type, you could at this point challenge him to a duel. Nobody get's away with challenging my manhood.

 

[Willie Boy]

Uhm:

Yeah!

Yep that's waif ^ thin and pink in the middle. Top of the food chain.

Actually, those are wafers (the pink ones are strawberry flavor) to be precise. The bottom (no pun intended) of the food chain as basically everybody eats them. I have yet to hear of anybody being eaten by a wafer.

 

[Haberdashery]

Actually, those are wafers (the pink ones are strawberry flavor) to be precise. The bottom (no pun intended) of the food chain as basically everybody eats them. I have yet to hear of anybody being eaten by a wafer.

Oh wow.....nice story

 

[operafan]

I would have responded with something - I would have tried to make a joke out of it, but letting it pass means he will do it again.

 

[Willie Boy]

Oh wow.....nice story

Actually that wasn't a story. Those were simple facts.

 

[Willie Boy]

No. Just move out and stand on one's own two feet. Or learn to live with the jabs.

 

[bankside]

I like the line from Will Smith in Men in Black:

I am half the man you are.

 

[dirtyturtle]

Update: I asked him to stop with the comments about my weight and the gay comments and he agreed to stop the weight comments because it isn't my fault that i have the metabolism of a jack rabbit on coke With the gay comments he said he was "sorry" but he's said this before and i don't think I can stay here for my sanity. And no i don't pay rent however i do clean a majority of the house etc and take my brother and sister to the park when he wants quiet so I do help with the house. The sole purpose of being here was to go to an art school however i couldn't get the loans or money and would be paying it off till i'm much much older in life so i might pursue my secondary dream and move home.

 

[dirtyturtle]

He's been my stepdad for ten years and known that I was gay for at least 5 so this isn't a new thing

 

[Comrad]

Oh fucking Christ stop acting like a pussy. If that really gets to you then i would hate to see what you would do if you were to ever run across someone like me. My advice, suck it up or come back with something else next time. At the end of it all, he said it because it was on his mind and he felt like it held true....I will quote myself in saying " It is what it is"