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Taking so much time ...

A

Azshane

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Hey everyone,

So here's my problem. I don't know if anyone else had the same issue but I had this problem for quite a while now... It always took me a lot time to come. In he beginning it was only when I was stressed or something but now it happens almost everytime and it's starting to really annoy me cause I met someone 4months ago and sometime it take so much time that I don't even come and I don't want him to think that's it's because of him or something. I talked to him about it and he said it wasnt a problem but I still feel that it's not completly "okay".

I don't really know how to explain it. If I'm having sex with my partner and at a certain time he tries to make me come, I try to not think about anything else but after a while I become so stressed that it's taking too much time that I lose my hardon and everything and I just start to focus about that even if I try to think about something else. It's kind of embarassing for him and I cause he just stand there trying to do something while I just become soft.... Trying to tell him that's it's not his fault, but after some time, I dont know if he still think it's the truth.

I need advices :(

(Sorry for my grammar, english is not my first language)
 
Is it just with him, or when you masturbate too?

If it's just with him, you may have conditioned yourself to a deathgrip technique in your solo time. Try to not jerk off so often and retrain your cock to go with his manipulations.
 
OMG! I just came looking at your avatar :lol:
 
2 possible reasons:

1. medical condition, which it means you should see a doctor
2. psychological, which means no porn, no masturbating, nothing sexual unless it´s with your partner. wait a couple of weeks and try again, if it still won´t work, check nr 1.
 
Azshane said:
...If I'm having sex with my partner and at a certain time he tries to make me come, I try to not think about anything else but after a while I become so stressed that it's taking too much time that I lose my hardon and everything and I just start to focus about that even if I try to think about something else.
Click to expand...

Assuming that you don't have this issue when you jack yourself off...

The underlined section is the problem- it's often stage-fright (trac) and it can happen if you're used to masturbating a certain way.

Instead of stressing about it, why not finish yourself off and make it part of the fun? Maybe your partner would enjoy having you straddle his cock while you jack yourself off? Or maybe he might be turned on by a facial? After you've gotten past this stressful situation, in time, maybe he can help out with his hand when you've gotten yourself close?
 
KaraBulut said:
Assuming that you don't have this issue when you jack yourself off...

The underlined section is the problem- it's often stage-fright (trac) and it can happen if you're used to masturbating a certain way.

Instead of stressing about it, why not finish yourself off and make it part of the fun? Maybe your partner would enjoy having you straddle his cock while you jack yourself off? Or maybe he might be turned on by a facial? After you've gotten past this stressful situation, in time, maybe he can help out with his hand when you've gotten yourself close?
Click to expand...

What is he doing to make you come and how is he doing it? Have you suggested to him to try a different technique?
 
It's always taken me a long time. Sometimes that's been a good thing, sometimes not. An understanding partner is answer. Whenever time has been a factor or whenever I have felt guilty for taking too long it has become worse. Rather than continuing to worry about time or wondering if I'll lose my hardon, I sometimes think about other hot times.

We are all wired differently, but it seems obvious to me after a long lifetime of this, that men like us need to not be pressured, either by ourselves or our partners, try to avoid quickies, and to find partners who are turned on with long sessions and/or edging.
 
I'm having exactly the same problem, but I think it's because I have watched too much porn with pleasing myself. I can come but with alot of work of my own. I try not to do it on my own as much as I did anymore, but it's hard. Especially because I only have sex once per 3 weeks.
 
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