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Talking to a cute guy and he didn't reply to my text?

  • Thread starter Thread starter thegentleman
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thegentleman

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Late last week a really cute guy messaged me on Grindr. He didn't have a pic, but sent one in his first message. Totally my type, but he messaged me at like 2 AM so I didn't see it until the next morning which is when I replied.

He didn't sign on for a couple of days after that, and when I saw he was on, I messaged him again (this was on Sunday). We started talking and really hit it off right off the bat. I asked him if we could exchange numbers and he happily agreed. He texted me first shortly after and we went back and forth pretty much the entire day on Sunday. We even set up a date for Friday night.

Yesterday, I texted him around 2 PM and just said "Hey stud, how's your day going?". Still haven't gotten a response. Granted, he told me he's a supervisor in retail, so he could just be busy with work and perhaps tired when he gets home. I don't know...it's just weird how we hit it off so well and he was the one who messaged and texted me first and now it's like he fell off the face of the earth.

I don't want to be obsessive, but this would be my first date with a guy and he's the first one I've talked to who is actually my type and that I've had a good conversation with. I was also looking forward to seeing someone who could take my mind off of my straight friend that I'm in love with.

Do I text him again, and if so, when? I want to know if our date is still on for Friday, but if I don't hear back, I guess I'll have my answer. :(
 
oh dear,
Grindr people are not reliable. Don't get your hopes up.
Thats how internet or phone app hookup sites work.
 
I was talking to a 38 year old "surgeon" on Grindr who is an admitted closet case. Perhaps poor spellers and grammarians come in all kinds, but this guy's texts were embarrassingly bad, he asked me to shave my stubble if we were to meet because he likes fresh shaven "boys" (wtf?), and then he asked if a good-looking friend of mine would be willing to let him pay for sex. Grindr is a hot mess. Do not look for love on there. I wouldn't even recommend looking for "love" on there. It's only really worthy as cheap entertainment or a case study for a research project as far as I'm concerned.
 
dralockhart said:
I was talking to a 38 year old "surgeon" on Grindr who is an admitted closet case. Perhaps poor spellers and grammarians come in all kinds, but this guy's texts were embarrassingly bad, he asked me to shave my stubble if we were to meet because he likes fresh shaven "boys" (wtf?), and then he asked if a good-looking friend of mine would be willing to let him pay for sex. Grindr is a hot mess. Do not look for love on there. I wouldn't even recommend looking for "love" on there. It's only really worthy as cheap entertainment or a case study for a research project as far as I'm concerned.
Click to expand...

Or the guy the original poster mentioned was doing a case study, anything goes.
 
The ball is in his court. If he's interested, then he'll contact you. If he isn't interested, then he won't, and you'll find someone else. You deserve more than society has conditioned us to believe we deserve, so don't chase this guy. You texted him, now it's his turn. And if he doesn't respond, then you got your answer and can move on to finding the right person.
 
Two am sounds like a bar time booty call. Sunday to Friday is an eternity between strangers. Aim for something within 24 hours or the next best thing is likely to come along.
 
He actually texted me back yesterday morning. We chatted and I mentioned that I texted him the other day but figured he was busy at work and said "yeah my bad for not answering back". I asked him if we are still on for Friday and he said yes. I asked him where he wanted to go, and no reply. -_- But he said he had work from 2-11 yesterday. He texted me back "hey" at 1:30 AM.

So I guess he is interested, just seems to work crazy shifts and is probably a busy guy.

I do want to ask for more pictures before meeting up though. I only saw the one he sent. Would it be weird to ask for more?
 
why ask for more pics? you've seen what he looks like and you're obviously interested in meeting him. when guys do that to me it's a big red flag. unless you're one of those shallow guys that only looks matter. ..... you sit and wait for him to answer your text, get upset when he doesn't answer right away and said he's what you were looking for. meet on Friday if he doesn't look like the pic you've seen tell him he sent a fake pic and walk away. I get really irritated when guys keep asking for pics. especially those that don't send any in return. most of the time they're flakes or pic collectors. they agree to meet and either no show or cancel at the last minute. you've seen him and want to meet him. don't mess it up by getting caught up on superficial things. again, if he doesn't match the pic you've seen. ....leave

Steven
 
LIguy11 said:
He actually texted me back yesterday morning. We chatted and I mentioned that I texted him the other day but figured he was busy at work and said "yeah my bad for not answering back". I asked him if we are still on for Friday and he said yes. I asked him where he wanted to go, and no reply. -_- But he said he had work from 2-11 yesterday. He texted me back "hey" at 1:30 AM.

So I guess he is interested, just seems to work crazy shifts and is probably a busy guy.

I do want to ask for more pictures before meeting up though. I only saw the one he sent. Would it be weird to ask for more?
Click to expand...

Yes that would be weird. I think you shouldve asked for one before when you first started talking to him. Now that you have planned to meet up, just wait until meeting him in person. Hope for the best, expect the worst. Also, retail supervising is a lame excuse to not text back, so I would take that at face value. Either he has another job which he doesn't feel comfortable sharing with you, or he has other people who he would rather be talking to, or both. Someone who can only text back at 1:30 AM may not be your prince charming in the end, but it could be great sex. It is Grindr after all.
 
I hate to be a pessimist, but I get red flag vibes off the interactions you have described. I agree with Seasoned's assessment of the timing of this guy's messages. Couple that with the long periods between replies, and it just adds up to bad math in my mind. It sounds like you are the one initiating most of the contact, in effect chasing him. Some people get off on being chased whether they are aware of it or not.

Where you conclude from your interactions with him that he is interested in you in the same way you are interested in him, I see a guy with multiple romantic irons in the fire. My read on the situation is that you are one of several he's sampling, and that you may not even be near the top of his interest list.

I'm sorry if that sounds harsh, but someone interested would respond (at least in a timely manner) - busy or not, working or not, and their responses would include being sent during decent hours of the day. I'm not saying discount anyone who texts after midnight or whenever, there just should be a balance in the timing there. Also, you said you found this person on Grindr - not exactly the progenitor of long term quality relationships.

People show you who they truly are through actions. Words are the dishonest person's tools to try to mask their true nature. It's the classic art of misdirection. While you're placing all your faith in the words, their actions are telling another story - one you miss if you aren't paying attention to all the messages they communicate.

Someone worth your time, their words and actions line up and tell the same story.
 
I agree, guys vote with their feet. It's as sure as the swallows returning to Capistrano - if he's really that interested, he will MAKE time, the rest is bullshit.

I suppose somewhere out there is a guy who is really SO busy he can't fire off a five second text, but then he's so busy he's not going to be hanging out on Grindr now is he?

It sounds to me like he's keeping you on the burner while keeping HIS options open.
 
BTW remember, there is nothing more annoying that a needy text slut demanding your attention incessantly, don't become that guy. I'll text a guy maybe once, then it's nothing until I get a reply. I also don't ever get into long text sagas preferring to actually hear a voice if I want to talk. I find we all self censor much more efficiently when confronted with the phone call.
 
I replied to his "hey" text from 1:30 AM yesterday after I got to work that morning a little before 10 AM. He never replied. Last night, I saw that he was on Grindr a few hours ago. I texted him a "hey, are you alive? Lol" and never heard back. Our date was supposed to be tonight but it doesn't look like it's happening. I'm done.
 
Update: so in a shocking turn of events, I texted him again because at this point I'm just like "fuck it". I then saw him on Grindr again and messaged him. He wrote back instantly and I asked him if he got any of my texts. He said no and that maybe he should restart his phone. We chatted more and I told him I still want to go out tonight. He agreed and I asked him if this one place would be okay and he said yeah. I asked him what time he gets out of work, he said hopefully 7 so I told him we will go at 9 but to give me a heads up when he gets out.

He also asked if I had any other pics and I told him yeah but asked if he does as well. He sent me another pic and I sent him mine and he complimented me. I also asked him what he was looking for and told him to be honest and he said friends and fun, but possibly more if there's a connection, which is pretty much what I'm looking for as well.

I hope this goes well...
 
Surprise, surprise. He never texted me and we didn't go out. I texted him about an hour after he was "hopefully" getting out of work, but he never replied to that either.
 
sorry man but pretty much saw this coming a mile away. it's happened to many of us. there's so many flakes out there. I know it's tempting to send a thanks for flaking asshole txt, and it may make you feel a little better, but he'd prob give you some bs or block you. my gut feeling is he's not who he says he is and was stringing you along. some jerks get off doing that or he makes plans with several guys at the same time and takes what he feels is the best offer. either way it's a dick move and you're better off not getting involved any further. block him and move on. sorry buddy.

Steven
 
I can't with this guy.

So yesterday, he messages me on Grindr apologizing about the other night. He said he ended up having to get a new phone because his wasn't sending/receiving texts. I expressed to him that I honestly thought he was just playing games and that it did upset me. He apologized again and said he had no way to contact me.

It did kind of make sense to me, so I figured I'd give him another chance. I told him to text me to make sure his phone was working and he texted me right away. We chatted about his phone and he said he had the Samsung 3, and now he got the 6 (I'm assuming the Galaxy phone). He said he was waiting for that pic of me, because he sent me a shirtless pic of himself on Friday and I told him I'd send him one in return. Apparently, he was curious to see how hairy my chest was. <img src='http://a.rjstatic.com/images/icon_rolleyes.gif' />

I figured I had nothing to lose at this point, so I sent it. He replied "verrryyy very sexy". I told him thanks and then tried to continue the convo by asking how his weekend was and he didn't reply. I then noticed that I somehow turned on "Do Not Disturb" under his name in my phone, so I was worried that he did text me back and I didn't receive it. I turned it off and then told him that if he texted me back, I may not have gotten it. Still no reply. And he hasn't signed on Grindr since. I'm starting to think that maybe I'm too fat for him or he didn't like my body or something, and his "verrry very sexy" comment was just to be polite before he cut me off (not that he had an amazing body either, just average). -___-

I sort of believe the story about his phone since he hadn't been on Grindr the entire weekend since I spoke to him on Friday. But now it seems he's back to his flakiness.
 
You understand that at a certain point in these situations it ceases to be the other guy's fault.
 
Yeah he was probably just drunk and horny at 2am and now isn't anymore.
 
We left off just sexting each other. The last thing he asked me was if I'm cut or uncut. I told him cut and he never replied. I tried messaging and texting him again after but nothing.

I guess that's that.
 
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