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Tell us lies, tell us sweet little lies

I hadn't forgotten this thread. I was just waiting until AFTER Christmas so I didn't get put on Santa's "Bad Boy" list.
 
That's a lie. I didn't tear any of them. I was very gentle, easing them into a new line of recreation. They don't get much play time up here, so I've got to help them get maximum benefit from the time they do have.
 
I've been early to bed and early to rise every day for the past week.
 
Well, that explains why he went to the South Pole - to get closer to you!

He's two-stepping on me! The Nerve of that man.
 
No, it was the Itsy Bitsy, Teenie Weenie, Yellow Polka Dot Bikini.


But you weren't anywhere near as shy.
 
I'm never shy when it comes to exhibition... (F*** this is not a lie) but I never(oops) exhibit, ever !

We French do have our version....
 
I secretly love Madonna
 
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Christians for Michele Bachmann
Like This Page · March 18 · Edited

My best friend Tad and I were best friends. We used to do everything together. Then one day at an Christian party at Tri County Community College, Tad and I saw a beautiful "Christian" girl named Hannah. Well, we thought she was Christian!!! She wasn't, she was a CATHOLIC, and she obviously sneaked into the Christian party. As we turned around to get away, because we don't ASSOCIATE with CATHOLICS, Hannah blew smoke at Tad. But it wasn't regular healthy tobacco smoke... IT'S WAS SMOKE FROM A POT CIGARETTE, KNOWN BY ADDICTS AS A "JOINT CIGARETTE." Unfortunately some of the smoke from the joint cigarette was ACCIDENTALLY inhaled by Tad. And that's when all our lives changed. To our horror, Tad got addicted to the pot by SECOND HAND SMOKE from a JOINT CIGARETTE.

Suddenly all he could think about is chronicking the pot. He quit school, and to afford his 12 oz a day JOINT CIGARETTE addiction, he was doing hand jobs behind the Tri County Bowling Alley. When he couldn't earn enough to support his $500 a day JOINT CIGARETTE ADDICTION he was doing TWO HAND JOBS at once by placing two different male penises in each of his hands at once (one male penis per hand) so he could earn twice as much and buy twice as many JOINT CIGARETTES.


How could I top this for a whopper of a lie?
 
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