Telling my brother

[Artisticboy89]

Like I said a week or so ago I am going to tell my first family member that I'm gay...

Just to recap my brother is gay and I'm fairly sure he is clueless that I am(seeing how he told everyone I know that I am strait... which was interesting, when he told my parents that he was gay and in the same argument said he knew I was strait...

I've tried to hint to him in the past that I was gay (asking him if he thought one of my friends is gay, telling him I don't mind if he has gay porn showing on his computer, being overly intuitive about how a gay person thinks, telling him I don't like any of the girls where we live...) yet he still constantly would tell people I'm definitely not gay.

So I don't know what to expect, does he know and is trying to protect my cover (which in turn makes it very hard to tell any of my friends I'm gay) or is he really oblivious?

 

[Eagle653]

He'll probably be fine with it. I would guess he's oblivious. If he was clued in, he wouldn't be making comments that he'd have to eat later.

I say go for it, and clue him in. There's no point in spreading false rumors (that you're straight) about you!

Good luck, and let us know how it goes.

 

[shea]

I agree with Eagle you should sit down with your
brother and talk it over. You may become closer
than ever. My best to you and your fiture life.
shea

 

[nautiboyjeff]

You kind of left a major detail. I just found another post where you said your brother caught you looking at straight porn (caught jacking off thread). Can I assume this is the same brother? If so, then no wonder he thinks your straight.

 

[Artisticboy89]

You kind of left a major detail. I just found another post where you said your brother caught you looking at straight porn (caught jacking off thread). Can I assume this is the same brother? If so, then no wonder he thinks your straight.

I was young and it was blurry!

 

[thegenius]

I doubt your brother knows your gay, especially considering he's gay. I don't think when your gay you think one of your siblings would be too... I think I'd be a little shocked if my older brother came out to me as gay.

 

[Artisticboy89]

Well I'm back from Vacation, I told my brother, it went 'well'... I kept getting the strangest feeling that it was all a dream. He was cool with it, told me he had no idea, and that it all seemed like a cruel joke against my parents that all their children are gay.

 

[FootballMuscle]

He was cool with it, told me he had no idea, and that it all seemed like a cruel joke against my parents that all their children are gay.

lol that's so funny.

 

[backpacker]

Glad everything went well for you with your brother. I'm sure it's a big relief to let someone in your family know.

 

[Artisticboy89]

I'm sure it's a big relief to let someone in your family know.

Ironically, not really, no. I have yet to learn the consequences of my actions but I am relieved I at least got to practice coming out on a target that practically had no reaction.

 

[Artisticboy89]

Actually... having a gay brother has made things catastrophically worse.

Telling them I am gay would wound them in a way which I cannot fully comprehend. When my brother told them that he was gay my parents were upset not because he was gay but because of all the disadvantages he would have in life (persecution, smaller dating pool, much harder to have kids, depression, and my personal favorite quoted from my mother "when you have sex shit gets everywhere").


The current understanding in my family is that being gay has its genetic and developmental origins. It would likely seem that some of the chemicals my mother had to use to sustain pregnancy could have had a contributing factor in this... This is where the horrible joke comes in, that it could be practically assumed that the same treatment that allowed her to have kids also resulted in making the kid's lives much more painful.

I don't expect many people to really understand the situation or even consider it unique, but trust me things would be easier if there was only one gay son... not three

 

[nothingtolookat]

I wish I had someone else gay in the house. you're lucky!

 

[kramer362]

Wait so you have TWO gay brothers?

 

[bluepheonix]

two gay brothers! i thought i was only the one, have you told them both? Anywho, sure they may be a little worried about you to start off with, my mum was the same "im worried about what the world is going to do to my boy", but look at it this way, recognising and fighting disadvantage, if nothing else, builds character.

Sure as gay people we might have some unique challenges to face, but hey, whoever said life was easy right, no use complaining about something we cant change, but we can act to make it better in the future.

 

[Artisticboy89]

Wait so you have TWO gay brothers?

yes,

the oldest is out of the closet,
the middle brother seems so closeted gay its not funny (I've also heard stories from people who used to be his friend)
and I'm the youngest...



also the middle brother and I are on bad terms...

 

[michaelarchangel]

Remember you have only one person to answer to and thats you. Your happiness throughout YOUR life is more important than someone's expectations of your life. Do your best to be sensitive to their feelings but dont let anyone family or otherwise try and make you something you are not. By the way alot of str8 people dont get along with their families over other things...but its still the same issue...control.